divorced

Sometimes a good divorce is better than a bad marriage.

Maybe
Do you know that I cyber stalk you? When it first happened, I would creep all day long. It was an obsession. I don't know why. Was it to get mad about your life? Maybe? Was it to torture myself? Perhaps. It could have been just plain disbelief that you could be all over Facebook or Instagram smiling. How are you smiling after what you did to me? To my family? To your husband and your family? I would criticize everything about you. How your hair was, or how ugly you looked. You have a really stupid smile and teeth did you know that? And that picture of you in the bathing suit? I laughed at that for a week. I see your flaws. I see each and every flaw in your pictures. To anyone that doesn’t know you or know what you did, you look perfectly normal, pretty even sometimes. But I know better. I know that behind your smiling face lives a heartless, lying girl.
By sara gockley8 years ago in Families
Protecting Your Child at All Costs
One of the hardest things a parent will ever have to experience is protecting their child from the other parent. It's heart wrenching because most parents want nothing more than to foster a good, healthy, and even beautiful relationship between their child and the other parent. At least that's always what I wanted. My daughter's father and I separated years ago. I was so set on my daughter having a good relationship with her father that I turned a blind eye to red flags that I shouldn't have. The very last thing I ever wanted was to fight in a courtroom over my own flesh and blood. It seems so heartless and inhumane. So the little things I noticed as unhealthy I tried to excuse with his inexperience as a parent or doing his best based on the fact that he had no structure as a child. My single mom friends always stressed to me how lucky I was that her father even wanted to be in her life, so at times I felt ungrateful for wanting to take away any of the time he wanted to spend with her. But when his behavior turned into borderline psychological abuse I had to step in. He's discipline tactics became erratic and unacceptable. They were humiliating and heartbreaking for our daughter. Not to mention the unhealthy and unlawful lifestyle he was living, so in turn he was subjecting our child to. I finally did what I thought I'd never do. I filed for sole custody. I felt as though I had let my daughter down. Like I was taking away her normalcy. That's when I became the bad guy. That's when the negative talk about Mommy started. I wouldn't defend myself to the things she would come home saying because that would mean telling her the truth of why I did what I did. That would mean crushing the heroic view my little girl had about her dad. That would make my daughter think both of her parents hated each other and placing her smack dab in the middle of our drama. Not gonna happen! So I took the brunt of her anger and confusion and that was okay with me.
By Angel Perez8 years ago in Families
It's Better This Way
For as long as I remember, my parents always bickered back and forth. For as long as I remember, my parents never kissed, hugged, or held hands. When my father tried to pull my mother close, she would push him away. When my mother tried to talk to my father, he was not receptive.
By Kyleigh Keovilay8 years ago in Families
The Life of an Almost-Rich Kid
Born and partially raised Burlingame, California. Old stomping grounds resigned in Millbrae and Skyline Blvd. About ten years ago, my life was average, normal, and worry-less. I went to my local, public elementary school down the hill and my siblings went to the middle school next door.
By Xoxo8 years ago in Families
Divorce and a Daughter
Being told those four words was truly the hardest thing anyone has to go through, especially with a child. You fight between want your heart wants and what would benefit yourself and this precious little baby looking up to you for answer. How can anyone choose between fight to save your marriage or fight to find who are you? You’re lost, you’re confused, you’re heart is aching, all the while you have this beautiful one-year-old looking at you for answers and is concerned.
By Kayla Hans8 years ago in Families
How Does Divorce Effect Children?
Divorce amongst couples with children has become so common that when a child says “My parents aren’t together” it isn’t quite a shock as it may have been years ago. Most of us have experienced or know someone who has experienced a divorce in their family. The divorce process within a family can have a variety of negative effects on a child. Today I'm going to explain to you the different categories that these negative effects may fall under according to the Article titled: The Psychology of Divorce: A Lawyer’s Primer, Part 2: The Effects of Divorce on Children written by: Portnoy. The first being psychological effects and the second being emotional.
By Vanessa Solorzano8 years ago in Families
The Perspective of Divorce and Favoritism from an Eldest Child
My mother and father had good jobs, and a very healthy relationship. They had been married a few years by the time they had me. When I came into their lives, everything seemed in its place. We had two cars in the garage, a nice pool, fancy dinner plates, the whole middle class suburban package. My brother was born when I was three, and that’s when my earliest memories start. My brother was born very sick and premature which made my mom cling to him and he instantly became everything to her. This was made very apparent in the following months/Years. My mom and dad stopped showing affection towards each other, my mom spent all her time with my brother by her side. My parents started to get into more fights, This one at Christmas I remember vividly. My brother and I opened the last shared gift, it was Candy Land. My parents were having a shouting match in the kitchen, they never saw us open it. We never played it. A short while later my dad stopped coming home, at the age of 6 I didn’t understand. My parents wouldn’t tell me they got divorced. I figured it out at the age of 12. My mom would just say he’s working or at a friends house. With my dad no longer at home or in the weekday picture. I had no one on my side. It was my mom and my brother vs me. As you might assume, This put a lot of tension between me and my brother. We would soon grow to hate each other, we’d bicker and fight more than our parents. My mom would always say it’s my fault. My dad no longer really having any responsibility in our well being besides every other weekend. (Which he would forget on occasion.) started reliving his glory days, joined a “rock n’ roll” band, and that would soon become the center of his world. Plus all the perks of vices that came with it. On weekends he was supposed to have us he’d constantly leave us at unsafe/sketchy baby sitters, or if he couldn’t find one, he’d just bring us to his gigs. A bar isn’t fun when you’re little and can’t even spell the word alcohol. Then when I was 8 my mother decided to go back to school, and sometimes she wouldn’t have baby sitters or my dad would forget/show up late. So I had to become the caretaker of my brother for awhile. Which I don’t know if you’ve ever had to take care of someone you don’t particularly like, but it ain’t easy. This led to more resentment between my brother and I. one night when my mom didn’t come home at all, and at almost 9 I had to put my brother asleep and stay alone in big, dark, scary house. It started to make me resent her too. The early years of adolescence/ young adulthood were hard. At this point my mom and I grew incredibly distant. All of our talks were arguments, and everything wrong was my fault. Throughout the years My parents both had a string of relationships with awful people that didn’t last long. A couple of my dads girlfriends son’s had molested me, I wouldn’t reveal this to anyone till much much later. My mom in the end still doesn’t believe me. She to this day is still single, My father would eventually remarry to his current wife. She’s been the most like a mom to me, as she’s been in my life for 11 years. The first of those years were also extremely difficult. I was still dealing with the hurt, trying to fix my relationship with my brother, and dealing with anger from my parents divorce. Plus I was trying to get adjusted to having a parental figure that gave us rules and boundaries. Something my brother and I were not used too. I’m currently nearing my mid twenties and I’ve learned a lot about life and love, but the most important thing I’ve learned is playing favorites suck, divorces are messy, and if you think your choices only affect you...you’re wrong. I don’t know what had the bigger impact on my life, the divorce or the favoritism but I can tell you, my brother and I are slowly still on the up and up. We have days where we want to hit each other but I love him. My mom and I on the other hand, have plateaued. We Exchange pleasantries on the holidays, but that’s really it and as sad as it is to say, I feel that’s all it ever will be.
By RT. .AW8 years ago in Families
Living With Divorced Parents As a Teen
When my parents first divorced, I was a young child and although I didn’t understand the problem, I seemed to understand what it meant pretty well and just that it was a thing.
By Brooke N8 years ago in Families
What a Jerk Kid Wants to Tell Her Dad
Hey Dad. //// No, this is not one of those articles written for a late father—the usual “Things I Wish I’d Told My Dad When I Had the Chance.” My Dad is very much alive, still doing his morning swims every morning (even during winter). But I was never close to him and since my parents divorced early, he was more like a third-degree uncle and it would be weird for me to tell him anything intimate. So yea, it’s still pretty much the usual “Things I Wish I’d Told My Dad When I Had the Chance.” ////
By Judy Mae8 years ago in Families
My New Life as a Single Mum
I don't ever know how to start these posts, but here I go. I started this new, crazy life as a single mother to a four year old son and I am having another boy due the end of January or early February. This pregnancy has been so different compared to my first son. My first son, I had his father, my ex- husband now, and had all the support in the world from a lot of my friends and my family. However, with this pregnancy, I don't have a father figure for my son; he left when I was 23 weeks pregnant. That is when I had to figure out at that point in time that I didn't need a man to help me with this baby. Then, a couple weeks after he left, I was told my normal pregnancy wasn't so normal after all. At 25 weeks, I was classified as a high-risk pregnancy due to my unborn son having developed a C-PAM or a Congenital Pulmonary Airway Malformation. Okay, for those that aren't medical professionals like myself, it is described as a benign lung lesion.
By Kayt Peaslee8 years ago in Families
Being The "Stepmom"
Ever feel like being the "stepmom" to your children will just never be good enough to some people? Like no matter what you do, to some people you will just never be good enough? It is a constant battle between you and your mind, you and your stepchildren, as well as you and the biological mother, who constantly seems to be the biggest conflict of all stepmother situations that have ever been started.
By Mother Mayhem8 years ago in Families
Raising Kids but Not Being with the Other Parent
Co-parenting.... Can it be fun or can it be a nightmare? It's what you choose it to be honestly. This is a little inside information on what it was like for my family during the past few years.
By Friday Vibes8 years ago in Families