adoption
Adoption proves that sometimes, you can choose your family; all about the process before, during and after adoption.
MY STORY TO TELL
ALONE AGAIN This is probably the hardest chapter to write. It is most definitely the hardest time in my life, up to this point at least. I just shared with you the second time in the previous 10 years, that I lost another parent. This time it brought on all new challenges and grief. Growing up, I could never have imagined my family life was going to become what it eventually became. Growing up, my family was close. We were always visiting my father’s sister in north Alabama. We were always with my father’s brother’s family, as they lived near us. My mother’s family only consisted of her mother and her sister Carole, who I spent more time with as a child than any other family member. I absolutely loved and adored my Aunt Carole. She took me to my first Alabama football game, her daughter Tammy who was probably 12 years older than me, let me stay with her for an overnight visit when I was very young down in Tuscaloosa at the University of Alabama. My point is this, we were a very, very close family.
By Mark Vinsant5 years ago in Families
MY STORY TO TELL
CANCER STRIKES AGAIN Just when things in my life seemed like they could not get any better, I get kicked again. During our engagement, Amy and I had moved into my mother’s house on a temporary basis while we found a house suitable for our very large family. Of course, it was not ideal, but looking back on it, again, God definitely knows what he is doing. My mother had been living in a very large home with just my younger sister, Lindsay, since my father had passed. She definitely had the room and I loved it because it gave Amy and my mom a chance to become close.
By Mark Vinsant5 years ago in Families
MY STORY TO TELL
HAPPINESS AGAIN Well, well, well, who the fuck would know that a truly innocent friendship would turn into so much more. So, get this crazy shit. I told you I was talking to another woman. Things were good. She lived close by and she was older than me, but I was not looking for anything serious. I was just getting used to being single. Well Hannah came home one day and mentioned that one of her best friends Rachel was walking home from where the school bus dropped her off and she was scared about a car following her. So being the concerned parent, Hannah and I made sure Rachel got home and it was then I found out her parents were going through a divorce also. Rachel was one of Hannah’s best friends. She had gone on a family vacation to the mountains with us, they often spent the night at each other’s house, they were really close. Thing was, I didn’t know her parents too well. I knew them, but that was the extent of it. I knew her mother was attractive, but fuck, there are a lot of attractive women in the world.
By Mark Vinsant5 years ago in Families
MY STORY TO TELL
A LOST LOVE REEMERGES As I learned that life continues, I also learned that good things can come from bad events. As I learned to live life without my best friend, I learned that I still had one best friend (outside of my kids) that I had not considered since my very early youth, my mother. She too was hurting and grieving. My father was her everything. They were married when she was just 18 years old and he passed away just two months before they could celebrate their 42nd wedding anniversary. It was during this time that I became close to my mom. Closer than I ever could have imagined was even possible. My father was just 65 when he passed away and my mother was 60. She still had a lot of life left to live and she didn’t know how she was going to handle the business, the rental properties, everything there was to handle without my father around. I knew it was my time to step up and help my mother, so I did. As I did, I found myself having a connection and a bond with my mother that I truly had desired to have for all of my life. I had suddenly found something I had searched for since I was just a child. It was the mother I knew before Lindsay was diagnosed with Autism. She was back! I was so happy. I spoke to my mom every day; we would talk for 30 minutes or longer. I would help her with things, she would help me.
By Mark Vinsant5 years ago in Families
MY STORY TO TELL
DEATH OF A LEGEND The family was gathered together at a surgeon’s office, we were scheduling the surgery that would go in and remove the tail of the pancreas. At this point, 2 weeks post diagnosis, we were told the cancer had been contained to the tail of the pancreas. Which is the best you could ever hope for with pancreatic cancer. The surgeon wanted to do one more MRI prior to scheduling the surgery so my dad went and had the MRI done, the family went to lunch and was scheduled to be back within two hours to schedule the surgery. It was a somber lunch the best I can remember, which honestly isn’t much. We arrived back at the surgeon’s office, which they called the entire family back to a private waiting room. What happened next, I will never forget. As the entire family sat in the private waiting room, the nurse came and pointed to me and told me I had a phone call. Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at me with a bewildered look. Everyone that is except for my dad. He knew what was coming, I had no idea, but he did. I should have known from his look. I was curious who would be calling me at the hospital because I had a cell phone in 2005, no one knew I was there that wasn’t with me, I followed the nurse back anyway. She took me directly to the surgeon’s office. He was waiting for me. As it turns out, within the two weeks since the prior MRI, the cancer had spread to his hip and basically all over his body. It had metastasized. Surgery was no longer an option. This surgeon told me my father had between 6 months to 18 months to live. I was destroyed. Crushed, fucking angry as a mother fucker. Tears flowing down my face. I had to put all of that aside. I had to walk back out to my family and act like everything is good. I informed the surgeon to not give my father any prognosis. From day 1, my father instructed all of us to never tell him a prognosis, just to let him believe he had a chance to beat this thing. I made sure that his wishes were met.
By Mark Vinsant5 years ago in Families
MY STORY TO TELL
COMING HOME With the help of my mother, we lined up an apartment in Birmingham and trucked back to Birmingham. We probably spent 3 years total living in New Jersey and I really enjoyed it there. I really enjoyed the winters, because I am a snow lover. I was however glad to be home and to be back on good terms with my mother. It appeared that we had put all the bullshit behind us. Times were good, no times were great.
By Mark Vinsant5 years ago in Families
MY STORY TO TELL
BRANCHING OUT Well, it was official, I was on my way to New Jersey to live away from home for the first time. I was moving with a girl I truly barely knew, but knew enough to know I loved her and I loved being with her. I think it took us two days with one stop in Virginia to get to New Jersey. I honestly had no idea what to expect. I didn’t know what to expect in relation to her family, her faith or that area of the country.
By Mark Vinsant5 years ago in Families
MY STORY TO TELL
INTRODUCTION If you are easily offended by the truth, stop reading now. I am laying it down, 100% of what you are about to read is the truth and it is my story to tell. It is my version of events throughout my life that have broken me, molded me and made me into the man that I am today.
By Mark Vinsant5 years ago in Families
Siblings, Spiderwebs, and Serendipity
What is your wish when you blow out the candles on your birthday cake, or throw a penny in a fountain, or when the clock says 11:11? For me, every wish I made growing up was always the same; that I would someday be reunited with my biological family.
By Emily Wrider5 years ago in Families
