Phenomenon of Dying Alone

Kodokushi (孤独死) or lonely death refers to a Japanese phenomenon of people dying alone and remaining undiscovered for a long period of time. The phenomenon was first described in the 1980s. Kodokushi has become an increasing problem in Japan, attributed to economic troubles and Japan's increasingly elderly population.

Contemporary dying involves conditions for which we are unprepared as a society. We seldom address our civic obligations to each other. Few people have discussed their wishes about their preferences in dying and whether and how they want to be accompanied at their death, if possible. This is an invisible constraint of modern healthcare. Because of limited discussions and preparation, these deaths may lead to disenfranchised grief for the mourners. Cultural and societal responses to lonely dying are important in easing the emotional burden of dying alone, helping individuals prepare for this possibility and better integrating death with the life course. Recommendations include inclusion of accompaniment/nonaccompaniment at death as part of advance care planning and mitigation if this condition occurs. It is essential for individuals to find their own still point of acceptance within competing societal narratives of privileging the self in dying alone and the value of social connection.

I was watching a youtube channel a few days earlier of an Indian guy who shares his experiences living in Japan.

He said, there was an elderly woman, who used to live on the same floor as his. She was around 70 years old and was living alone.

They used to have small talks once in a while. He used to help her in carrying the groceries whenever they met outside. Also accompanied the old lady sometimes for an evening walk too.

Later, they generated a good connection and this guy started caring for her and checking whether she was doing okay once in a while.

One time, It’s been a few weeks since he met her. So, he rang the bell of the old lady's apartment. And to his surprise, a man of age between 40–45 opened the door. He was the son of that lady.

Our Indian guy said that he is here to check the old lady. The old lady’s son bashed him for interfering with their privacy and warned him to never come there again.

The guy took a step back and felt humiliated for unexpected behavior.

It has been a week after that bashing incident happened. He was coming home after work, and as he entered the entrance of his building, he saw a group of people who seemed like from the media.

He ignored them and went to his flat. He noticed a crowd outside the old lady’s apartment. He went to check what was happening.

Someone called the police for the weird smell coming out of the old lady’s apartment. Later, he got to know that the old lady died a month ago. His son was hiding this fact for the govt. monetary benefits, his mother was getting and related.

‘’This makes me ashamed to be a human being.’’

……………………………………………………………………………………

According to The Independent, Kodokushi is a growing problem in a country, where 27.7 percent of the population is aged over 65 and many people are giving up trying to find partners in middle age, and are instead opting for a solitary existence.

A 69-year-old man, living near to, had been lying on the floor for three years, without anyone noticing his absence.

His monthly rent and utilities had been withdrawn automatically from his bank account.

The authorities learned about his death when they visited his apartment in 2000, three years after his savings depleted, only to find 'his skeleton, its flesh picked clean by maggots and beetles.'

That's really heartbreaking.