Nana’s Unconditional Love

Nana’s Unconditional Love

Grandmothers often conjure feelings of warmth, safety and unconditional love. I know that’s what comes to mind when I think of my Nana. Growing up, I couldn’t wait to go to her house. It was the one thing I always looked forward to. As a five year old, I spent afternoons there after school. One day, it was pouring rain and thundering so hard the house shook! Lightning flashed outside the thick draped windows. The wind howled outside, like a pack of hungry wolves. The Earth boomed with each clap, as if the whole world was coming apart! Nana’s cat, Smokey, and I stared at each other, terrified! I followed him down the dark hallway, to the room at the end, figuring he knew where Nana was. Instead, I found him hiding under the bed, so I crawled under and joined him. Together, we weathered the storm, holding our breaths with each thunderous clap. It wasn’t long before Nana found me curled up with Smokey, tears streaming down my little face. She reached down to pick me up, holding me close to her bosom. Right away I calmed, finally able to breathe, safe in her arms.

She carried me to the porch. Nana, had one of those old-fashioned, screened-in porches, the perfect kind to enjoy a nice summer storm. There, she placed me in a miniature rocking chair next to hers. Still in shock, I began to slowly stroke Smokey’s soft fur. I felt the warm mist from the rain on my face. Nana and I began rocking gently in our chairs, as she hummed a little tune. Her voice was as calm and strong as the storm, harmonizing with every clap and howl. We watched flashes light the night blue sky.

I felt a warm mist on my skin. Nana asked what I smelled. I told her I smelled fresh air. She smiled, reaching over to place her hand in mine. Later Nana stopped humming and we sat listening to the rain drops, in silence. I looked up at my Nana who returned my big smile. I felt her love pouring over me, like a soothing rain. Suddenly, five year old me felt something all so familiar, unconditional love.

This memory is just one of many times I felt this way with her. Seldom a day goes by I don’t miss my late Nana. I’ve often wondered about these feelings. Why did her love feel so similar to that of another important woman in my life; my mother? Recently, I learned a fun fact that helped me put things in perspective. Every woman develops all the eggs she will ever carry, while growing in the womb of her mother! I smile just thinking about it. It makes perfect sense. We all begin our lives in the wombs of our grandmothers, as the eggs growing in our mother’s fetus. Therefore, we all start our lives inside our grandmothers! It’s pretty magical how the unconditional love that created my mother, also created me.

Today, I enjoy a similar close relationship with my mom, as I did with my Nana as a child. The days my Nana laughed, the nights she cried, while pregnant, were all recorded in her womb and in the wombs of her daughters, a cascading waterfall of experience, pouring through the generations. If I ever become pregnant with a girl, I can feel down into my belly and nurture my potential grandchildren I carry inside me. The overflowing sensations of unconditional, generational love are birthed before our very eyes, each time we bring another woman into the world.