My Nona's Secret

It seemed fitting that it rained all day today, the day of my Nona’s funeral. It has rained every day since she died, just four days ago. First, I lost my parents in a car crash when I was seven and now, at twenty four, I lost the only other living family I had left. I don’t think I would be able to deal with it all without my best friend, Lucy, by my side.

“Maggie, are you ready to go?” Lucy grabs my hand gently as I was standing by Nona’s closed casket that was moments away from being lowered into the ground. “Yes I am.” I replied. As we walk to her car I ask, “Do you think you could stay over again tonight? I still have so much of Nona’s things to sort through and I am a little overwhelmed.” “Of course I can.” Lucy said with a sincere smile.

We pull into the driveway of my Nona’s house, which now belonged to me. It’s an old Victorian style house in a suburban neighborhood just outside of Grayling, Michigan. I always admired her home for the steep roofs, the large floor to ceiling bay windows, and especially the second story turret on the left side. That turret was my favorite place to escape. It was a small room, just big enough for a couple of bean bags and room to stretch. The ceiling was low enough that my five foot three inch self could stand on my tip toes and barley graze the top with my fingers. There were three large windows with a perfect view of the stars at night. I loved every part of that room, from the way the floor boards creaked to the fact that I could always hear Nona singing off key in the kitchen.

Nona was an amazing cook and she made sure to teach me everything she knew. That was something I would miss the most. That kitchen is where some of my best memories took place. When Nona wasn’t home making cinnamon rolls or her famous cheesy taco soup, she was at work. She was an accountant, just like my father.

Lucy and I decided to start packing up my Nona’s room. “Are you sure you want to do this today?” Lucy asked. “Yes I am sure. Besides, sitting around doesn’t make it hurt any less.” Lucy gave me a nod and asked, “Where do you want to start?” “We can just start with her closet.” Nona had a master bedroom and with it came a long, narrow walk in closet. She had her signature button up blouses and slacks that she wore to work, all neatly hanging up on the left side. Beneath them were her small variety of shoes, lining the edge of the wall. On the other side, she had her non work clothes and two plastic storage boxes underneath. “I guess we can start by packing up her clothes.” I said.

We took Nona’s clothes and shoes out and put it all into cardboard boxes so we could donate them. After we finished, we took the plastic storage boxes out and put them on the bed for us to go through. The first one was full of sheets and blankets while the second was a mixture of photo albums, purses, and other miscellaneous items. “Maggie, Look!” I look over and see Lucy holding one of the photo albums. “This one is full of pictures of your parents and you, when you were little.” She said. I walk over to her and I’m instantly taken back to the life I had before; before my parent’s died and before I ever moved into this house. As we flip through the pages, I come across a photo from my seventh birthday party. It was the summer of 2004. I was obsessed with mermaids at that time, so my parents threw me a mermaid themed birthday party in Nona’s backyard. In the photo, I was standing in front of a birthday cake in the shape of a mermaid’s tail. “I remember that day!” I said excitedly. “My Nona made me that cake.” My parents were squatting down to my level on both sides of me with a huge grin on their faces. My Nona was standing behind my dad looking down at us and you could see how happy she was. That day sticks out to me because it was the last birthday I ever got to share with my parents. I could feel a tear start to roll down my face as the memory flooded back to me. “Oh Maggie, I’m sorry!” Lucy said softly. “This is too much for you.” She reached for the album to close it but I pulled it back. “No, I’m ok.” I said. “I haven’t looked at these pictures in years. It helps to see them again, my parents. It’s been so long that I sometimes forget their faces. I really love seeing us all so happy.” I take a few more minutes to look through the album before continuing with the rest of the storage container.

After sorting through my Nona’s mementos, I get to the last item in the container; a small black notebook. “What is that?” Lucy asked as I pulled it out of the container. “I’m not sure.” I replied. I open the notebook and it is full of my Nona’s handwriting. “It looks like some sort of journal.” I said. I felt weird for reading it. My Nona was a private person so reading what could possibly be her personal journal felt wrong. “What does it say?” Lucy asked. “I don’t know if I should even read this.” I said. “Even though she’s gone, it still feels like a violation.” I added. “Yeah, that’s understandable.” Lucy said while nodding her head.

As I was closing the notebook, a page dropped out and landed on the floor. “Maggie, something just fell out of there.” I picked up a folded piece of paper that looked as if someone tore it out of the journal. On the outside fold it said “Margareta” in my Nona’s handwriting. “I think that was meant for you.” Lucy said. I opened the paper and read, “Ever since you moved into my home almost two decades ago, you have filled my heart with more joy than I thought possible. After your parent’s death and having to bury my only child, I felt like my heart would stay broken for the rest of my life. I can’t say that my old heart ever completely healed from that, but having you around saved me. I am so proud of the young woman you have become and I want nothing for you but to see you happy and healthy. I do need to tell you something that I believe you are old enough to know now. I’m not getting any younger and I don’t want to die before telling you this.” – I stopped reading the letter and could feel the adrenaline building up inside of me.

I wasn’t sure what was so important that my Nona felt she had to keep from me, but didn’t want to die without me knowing. I was afraid to find out the answer to that question. “Why did you stop?” Lucy said. “Are you not dying to know what she is talking about?” She added. “I am, but I’m also scared. What if she is trying to confess to murder or some other horrible thing?” I replied. “Well now you have to finish reading it or else you will never know if your Nona was living some sort of double life.” Lucy said with a hint of sarcasm. “Ok, fine, I’ll finish reading it.” I said reluctantly.

“Maggie, your parents didn’t die in some random car crash, they were murdered.” – I froze after reading that sentence. “Oh my god, Maggie!” I could hear how shocked Lucy was, but I didn’t budge. I couldn’t even feel my body at this point. “Murdered?” I said, finally. “Who would want to murder my parents and why?” I was so confused and trying to piece the events of that night back together in my head. My parents were away together on a romantic getaway for the weekend and I stayed with Nona. We were both sitting on the couch watching a movie when we heard the doorbell ring. My Nona got up to answer it and I stayed. I turned around to lean on the back of the couch and saw two policemen standing on Nona’s front stoop. She invited them in to the foyer and they both had this sad expression on their faces. I couldn’t make out what they were saying, but I knew it was bad when my Nona dropped down to her knees, crying.

“Maggie, do you want me to read the rest?” Lucy asked. “No, I can do it.” I regained my composure and continued reading. “When you were six years old, your father started working for a company called Nelson Enterprises. He was so excited because all he ever wanted was to provide a better life for you and your mother. It wasn’t long after that, I noticed a change in your father’s behavior. Your mother would call me crying because he had become distant and withdrawn. One night, you all came over for dinner. After you fell asleep he, your mom, and I were all standing in the kitchen when he finally confessed to what had been bothering him. He noticed some alarming things in his company’s finances. It became clear to your father that they were involved in illegal activities. Your father brought this to his boss’s attention and was told to ignore it and cover it up. Your father was even given $20,000 in cash to bribe him into keeping his mouth shut. He gave me the money that night to keep in a safe place. Your father wanted to be a role model for you. He wanted to make you and your mother proud, so he spent the next six months collecting evidence that he could take to the police. He and your mom were not on a couple’s trip that night they were killed, they were out of town meeting with federal investigators, but were intentionally ran off the road before their meeting.

I hid all of this from you because you were too young to understand it at the time. As you grew older, the timing always felt wrong so I continued to keep it to myself. Now you are a grown woman and you deserve to know the truth. I still have the bribe money that was given to your father. He wanted to give it to you, but never got the chance. I remember all the times you wanted me to fix those floor boards in the turret, but there is a reason why I never did.”

I looked up at Lucy and we both had the same shocked expression on our faces. “OH MY GOD, MAGGIE!” We stood there staring at each other for a few more seconds until we both started running to the turret. I walk in to the room and flipped on the light. “Lucy, can you go get me a knife from the kitchen?” Lucy took off to get the knife and while she was gone I walked around the floor until I heard a creak. Lucy returned with a steak knife from the kitchen and hands it to me. “I am literally freaking out right now!” Lucy said. I nodded in agreement as I knelt down on the floor. I use the knife to pry the floor board loose and within seconds, it popped up. As I put the board to the side, I stare into a dark shallow hole in the floor. Lucy turned on the flashlight from her cellphone and suddenly I see a dirty, thick envelope with my name on it.