My Husband

My Husband

My husband holds my hand when we walk. He gives me forehead kisses after he kisses my lips. He holds the door open loads groceries into the car and brings them into the house. He winks at me with his sexy little side grin. He tells me he loves me every chance he gets just out of the blue. He knows when my body has had enough, and I start getting achy long before I tell him. He knows when my anxiety is winning and often before the panic attacks hit and he knows just what to do to prevent them. He can quickly stop them when they do hit. He wipes my tears. He gives me random gifts that he knows I would love. He praises me. He tells everyone he loves me. Everyone he meets or talks to knows exactly how he feels about me and how I make him happy. He sings to me. He tells me I’m beautiful inside and out. He tells me that I am worth something, that I matter and most of all he has made me see it and believe it. I love him so very much. I have never had anyone love me as much as this beautiful man does.

My husband is kind, generous. Loving, caring, and honest. He’s gentle and soft with me when I need a gentle caring touch; especially when my anxiety and panic is giving me aa rough time. He safely and gently brings me down and makes me feel safe. I know that no one or nothing is going to hurt me, and I won’t hurt myself either. He holds me in his arms because that is my comfort spot and my safe space. His arms and his love is home to me. Home isn’t a building, it’s his arms.

When I have nightmares, it doesn’t matter what he is doing he kisses my head, pets my hair, holds me, and whispers to me. He tells me that I am safe, he is there for me. He tells me that I am safe, he’s there and it was just a bad dream and that it’s gone now. He holds me and keeps whispering to me, caressing me, and kissing me until I calm down and go back to sleep. Then he goes back to what he was doing. Since day one he has been my rock, my comfort, and for the first time in my life I am home.

He won’t let anyone hurt me, use me, betray me, or treat me disrespectfully. Sometimes when I’m having a rough time and I need comforted he will lay down with me and tuck the blankets around me, puts my stuffed penguin and Snoopy dolls he gave to me next to me, then he lays down next to me, pulls me close, wraps his arms around me, and gently rocks me to sleep. If he stays up longer than I do or if I’m not feeling good, he continually comes in, checks on me, pulls my blankets up, kisses my head, and whispers to me that he loves me.

Now, he isn’t always mushy and coddling. He is brutally honest. He’s real. He will put me in check when I need it. When I’m being grouchy and unreasonable. He isn’t mean and ugly about it. He just calls me out. He tells me what I’m doing so that I can see that I’m being out of line, and I can chill and correct myself.

This man spoils me. He loves me no matter what. He shouts it out loud to the world, to everyone everywhere even when I’m not there with him. When we aren’t together, he calls or texts me at random several times just to tell me he loves me and to make sure I’m okay and to see how I’m feeling and to make sure I’m safe. Never ever in my life have I ever felt this safe, cared for, respected, or loved. I have never in my life in love with anyone like I am in love with him. When he was in rehab, I was so lost. I missed him so much every second of every day. I walked around in a fog. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t wrap my head around anything. Nothing made sense. I couldn’t eat. I cried all the time. I couldn’t really function. I didn’t feel whole. I felt empty and dead inside. I missed him so much that it was physically painful. I was lost. I was in physical and mental pain the whole time. He called me several times a day every day. I tried to be strong and sound like I was ok. I tried to hide it from him because he needed me to be strong and supportive for him. He didn’t need to be reminded or told that I wasn’t okay. This wonderful man that I’m married to already knew I wasn’t doing well with this temporary separation. I can’t hide my feelings especially the negative from him. I can’t put on my “I’m okay smile” to hide behind. Not from him. He can see right through it. He can see and feel that pain no matter how I try to hide it. He pulls me out from my hiding spot and reassures me that I am stronger than my pain and that together we will get through anything and everything. He reminds me that I don’t have to do it alone anymore. His biggest fear with me and our marriage is the exact same as mine. It’s inevitable that one of us is going to pass away before the other. We will once again be separated. The one who is left behind will once again be alone.

With the way I felt when he was away, and I couldn’t see him if he passes away before I do I won’t be far behind him. His love for me I is so amazing that I won’t very long if he’s gone. I love him so very muxh. I am so in love with him that I don’t really remember most of my past relationships. Our love for each other is so strong that it will weather any storm that comes our way. Our love for each other is stronger than steel, rock, diamond, or titanium. I look at him and see the silver lining behind the clouds. I see the sunlight. I see the moon light and most of all I see love.

He is truly a gift from the gods and in my heart and mind he can do no actual wrong. He walks on water. With him I feel alive. I walk with my head high now because he has taught me that I am someone, I am worth something, and that I do matter. He has given me back my confidence, my strength, my pride, and my life. I really did marry the most amazing, loving, man who ever has walked this planet and breathed. I have never been happier or this in love. I am so very grateful that our paths met, crossed, and intertwined.