My daughter was born without a brain.

As I approach my daughter Raelyns 1 year birthday and also 1 year anniversary of her death. I decided I will write about her for the world to read. She was one amazing little girl she lived for 23 days! I was very lucky because most only live for an hour if they even survive the pregnancy. Rewind to Labor Day 2019 my mom came and picked me up to go to the 3D ultrasound. I was very nervous because my second born was born just a few months earlier and she was born missing huge patches of skin among other problems with the placenta detaching at 32 weeks and having a surprise birth where she was flown to Seattle children’s for care, but this is another story for another day. Back to Labor Day my mom picked me up and we headed too sweet pea a 3D ultrasound place the special kind like the ones you pay cash for. Anyways I layed on the bed and she put the wand on my belly we confirmed she was a girl my third we laughed, but then the ultrasound tech got very quiet and I saw tears in her eyes and she said who is your doctor ? I asked if something was wrong and she said I believe your daughter has anencephaly she doesn’t have a brain, or a skull and her head is open. We all bawled and she suggested I get her heartbeat and put it in a little bear I chose a lama. I remember just screaming once I got home she has no brain , she has no brain it was awful I was hysterical once I got home and told almost everyone I knew. My sister decided to take me to the doctor to confirm and I got my confirmation. My doctor called and said she was incompatible with life and I had two options abort or keep going on with the pregnancy. I chose to continue I kept praying this was all some big mistake I actually got myself believing Jesus was going to heal her and told everyone I knew she would be a miracle. I even went on stage at a church and the guy prayed for her to be healed. I truely believed it and fought with everyone who said differently. Fast forward to January 13th 2020 the day of my c section. I was so scared I ran in the bathroom first thing and didn’t want to come out. I didn’t want my baby to die, I debated running away and keeping her inside me as long as I could. 12 pm came and they took me to the operating room where minutes later my baby girl Raelyn was here and she was just how the doctor said but she did everything they said she wouldn’t she cried, moved, went to the bathroom, and even breastfed. She was amazing . I was so scared she would die any minute so I spent as much time as possible with her minutes turned to hours and hours turned into days. My heart was full I had all three of my girls in one house life was great. Then February 5th rolled around 1 day after her biggest sisters birthday she didn’t feel right, she felt like she was full of water I didn’t understand then around 10 am that morning she started spewing what smelled like acid from her nose eyes and mouth. I kept trying to suck everything out and was screaming no not like this please Jesus not like this. I called the hospice nurse thinking she would help me revive her but she told me to just hold her about an hour later she took her last breath and was gone. I kept her for the rest of the day until evening and then took her to the funeral home . I didn’t want to leave her it felt so wrong. Her funeral days later was beautiful my friend Katherine did everything for me because I couldn’t bear. I miss her so much and tell her story whenever I get that chance. In the beginning when I first found out I thought this was a curse but in the end it was the biggest blessing of my life .

Raelyn faith Upchurch 1/13/2020- 02/05/2020