Mother: The Multifaceted Being

The year was 1987 when I was born in the Dominican Republic in Santiago city to my mother, Julia. In October 1988, my mother left D.R. and traveled to New York leaving me in the care of our family. She wanted to come to North America to provide a better life for her and the family, as is the dream of every immigrant. Having family in New York as well she thought that she would have help like she did back in her native country, but that was not the case. She started to work as a cashier for her uncles’ supermarket, but quickly learned that they had archaic views which suppressed her growth. Being that Mami had me out of wedlock and they had their old-fashioned views they saw her differently and they treated her like the black sheep of the family. Even now so many years later it is still a scarring memory which is painful for her to share. The hurt and rejection that she received from her uncles is something that she has not forgotten or forgiven them for. Although, life gave her lemons, she managed to make lemonade. For birthdays and holidays, she managed to send me dresses and money, so that we could have good food to celebrate, all the while she suffered looking for a stable place to live in an unfamiliar place where she barely spoke the language. Despite many hardships she persevered regardless of her circumstances. Not too long after she forged a relationship that would bring forth my middle brother, J.C. At this point of her life, she began learning English which afforded her with the opportunity to earn her G.E.D. because she had bigger dreams than just being a cashier for an establishment she detested. One day she was able to quit and began a new career as a domestic worker. She began cleaning apartments in the downtown area of New York. This provided her more money and time to spend with my brother. The best part was that no one was looking at her through a microscope or bothering her for her choices. Around this time, she was working on her citizenship and seeking a way to bring me to New York. Since she left me at a young age, I did not know enough to miss her; she would always call, and I would speak to her, and my family would tell me about her. However, growing up without her had me looking towards my aunts, and my grandmother as mothers as well.

Once my mother obtained her citizenship and the papers went through for me to come and visit, she began working on my permanent visa. Nonetheless, she faced the wrath of my grandmother because she did not want me to come to stay over here. At the end of day, my grandmother lost that battle because I was not her responsibility. It was the summer of 1998 when I got stay in New York permanently. My mother made sure that I had all the documents necessary of my formative education for this country and I was quickly enrolled in P.S. 28 a school that was only two blocks from where I lived. Like my mother I had difficulty adjusting to my new surroundings, minus the cold familial shoulder. I was adjusting to the different seasons and learning a new language. I missed my country, family and friends. I became extremely depressed. Everything seemed so lonely and foreign. It was lot for a ten-year-old to handle. My mother tried to lift my spirits, but I just wanted to go back to the Dominican Republic. Unfortunately, I did not get my wish, however, I had my mother’s support and guidance through the tough times. By the time I got into in Louis D Brandeis high school, my mother was just finishing her bachelor’s from Boricua college in Sociology.

Mom decided to go to college when she felt she learned everything she needed to learn from domestic work. There was an after-school program called Project Basement that was run by the city, and it was next to our building. The person that ran the program was named Carol and my mother developed a friendship with her and others from the program as she was always such a charismatic and optimistic person. It was through this relationship that Carol offered my mother the opportunity to change careers. This was her introduction into social work, which is a career that she has even now, although her focus is on the geriatric community. She enjoyed the job, even though she kept cleaning apartments as a side job. Most of the clients that she had had known her for a long time did not want other people in their home, so my mom acquiesced. To help the women of her community she started training friends of hers to clean apartments and recommended them those clients who did not mind someone new working for them.

Around the time which I finished my second bachelor’s my mother decided to go back to college for her Master’s in Human Services because for her there is always something new for a person to learn. By the time she was graduating, she was extremely excited that she had accomplished so much. First, coming to a country which she was unaccustomed to and did not know the language or customs. She went from being mistreated by her family; to finding her independence and footing, so that people would stop looking down on her and judging her for her choices. Through all her ups and downs her faith and hope never wavered. She knew it in her heart that she will be victorious in mastering English and finding a fulfilling career. As her daughter I am immensely proud of her for not giving up and pushing herself to be the best version of herself she can be. To pushing my brothers and I in becoming educated individuals that can make a difference in the world.

The various lessons I learned from my mother are immeasurable. My two favorites are education and perseverance. When she left the Dominican Republic, she did not get to finish high school, but when she came to New York she managed to obtain her G.E.D and further her professional education, where she obtained her master’s. As I follow her footsteps in education my next degree will be a PhD in Clinical Psychology because it is never too late to change careers and build the life that you envisioned for yourself. Furthermore, her never ending perseverance in pursuing anything she puts her mind to. Challenging herself in things that people would have given up unless they had her taste and tenacity. I have always simultaneously admired and abhorred that stubborn streak of hers because even when she felt stagnated, she still pushed forward to remain undefeated. I strive to be like that; I believe that is why I detest it because I do not have that quality so embedded within me.

Julia, also known as my mother, is a multifaceted human being. Even though, motherhood has been her most challenging role, her other roles did not fall short of being difficult. Julia the foreigner, who came to a vast unknown territory with nothing but the clothes on her back in little to look forward to, managed to learn English and obtain her master’s degree. Julia, the woman who was belittled for her personal choices, found herself a good man to share her life with and love her unconditionally. Julia the woman many doubted but is still going strong in different facets of her life. Lastly, Julia the person who influenced her children to be the best they can be and to always believe in themselves as she believes in herself because you can accomplish anything you set your mind to even in the face of opposition. She is all together our hero and villain because she envelops you in love and affection while castigating and criticizing your shortcomings as a mother should. I do not know many mothers like my own, but her uniqueness is what makes her the best at what she does. After all, as Cardinal Mermillod once said, “a mother is she who can take the place of all others but whose place no one else can take.” All mothers are distinctive and irreplaceable. They leave you with life lessons that no other person can teach. But their best quality is their unconditional love and their incessant need to always be there for you even when you feel at your lowest. There are many words to describe a mother, but few live up those words like my mother has.