Loss of a child

[Thump Thump] “Soon as I hear it.” [thump thump] “Your heart beat for the very first time.” [thump thump] “I knew I would love you forever.”

*Flatlining sound*

“But I died soon as I heard your heart stop beating.”

Unconditional love ... the one thing on earth no one can kill. You love something so much you would do anything to protect it forever. It’s the hope of society that Awakens us to Perception of our existence. People fall in love and create a life force of human population on this earth. These are called Legacies to many but to women they are called our children. Not to all but to many women birth is the most beautiful thing ever because you feel your child’s heartbeat. You feel everything about your child that you want to protect with your all. May no pain ,fear or doubt come to them because you want to protect their heart as their shield. It is a mother’s mission to care and Nurture their children like baby birds in a nest for as long as they are breathing and walking this earth. Remembering every single detail of their face and all these sounds and Realizing how Fragile that are. I knew a mother that would do anything for her child just to keep her baby’s tears from falling out of their eyes. She was young, not very mature but she had a son that she would die for just to protect his smile. She never left his side everywhere she went he would go too. She would spoil him with so much love and happiness so that no bad energy or karma would Taint his heart. He would sleep in her bed, grab a piece of her hair while he slept just so he could feel her. She always laid him on her chest so he could hear her heartbeat so he would fall asleep to the Rhythm of her heart. She was always scared to let anyone close to her son because she knew he deserved the world and the people around her would possibly taint that world she was trying to create for him. But even saving his heart physically by keeping him so close she could never stop the damage his heart is suffering medically. She started Praying and praying for the light to Show in all that darkness. She was breaking inside wondering how could god wanna hurt someone so pure and why he wouldn’t save him from that pain. All she wanted to do was hold him and kiss him and just hear his heartbeat. She prayed and waited for God to come save one of his angels. All she could do was remember his face and his voice and how he opens his left eye first when he wakes up from a nap. She can still remember the first time he held his milk bottle all on his own. Every time he’s watching Tarzan he squeals and makes a high pitch sound like a monkey on the movie for hours. How his smile makes everyone’s day and how he laughed and how he curls up in her arms and drabs her t-shirt when she’s holding him in her arms. All these memories, all these feelings and emotions coming out through her tears. As they fall down her face she can feel all the pain her son is feelings and she just wants to take it all away but she can’t. The pain is killing her the more her son’s eyes remain closed. As soon as she heard his heart flatline she fell to the floor and died. Her son... Her child.... Her reason to breathe... Her purpose in life.... The moment he left her she left this earth. Her entire heart shattered as the doctors said “ma’am we’re sorry”. It’s as if she heard no words come from their mouths and she just ran to her baby and as she held him she cried. All the thoughts in her head screamed “NOOOOO” she didn’t want to believe. As the doctors was talking she just Wouldn’t let go of her son Praying this was a nightmare and he would come back. She let her mind slip away into depression feeling nothing but the cold and emptiness. Every memory racing through her mind making her fall into a very dark state of mind. Her reason to live and breathe was just taking from her within an instance. One moment he was right by her side the next he was gone it was all a blur. “He was only 1 years old why.... why did you take him from me? Why God?! I thought you was supposed to be a savior. A God that makes the light shine through the darkness the great Lord that can make blessings and miracles but you let him die... why? What did I do so wrong that he had to suffer for it? All he wanted was to be loved and to love others he had nothing but good in his heart and you took it all away in just an instance.... why..” as she kept saying over and over praying for an answer hoping her prayers would reach the heavens and her son would come back.