Latest Stories
Most recently published stories in Families.
Christmas Heartbreak and Hope
Christmas is a time of joy and giving, a time for happiness and miracles to happen. This Christmas Eve, however, my whole world came crashing down when I found out I have a small lump in my breast and after the New Year will be going in to be screened for Inflammation Breast Cancer. When I got the news, I stood staring at my phone, numb in shock and wanting to cry. I felt an overwhelming fear fill every part of my being. I stared at my children's presents through tears, knowing they needed to be wrapped, but feeling too numb and scared to do so. I knew I had to get through the night and make sure that their Christmas was not affected by this news. It took me nearly 6.5 hours to find the strength to move and wrap their presents from Santa. I have 5 children, ranging from 13 down to a 2 year old. My whole life I have always joked with my friends and family that I would die young. My whole life it has been my biggest fear. As the news hit me last night, all the possibilities- good and bad- came flooding in; i realized I was not afraid of the cancer itself or going through it. I survived being held hostage as someones wife, badly abused, beaten and raped for 5 years. I got this! But the reality that I may not live to see all my children grow up- that fear is one I cannot seem to squash. It is one that haunts me every time I look at them now. All I see is the possibility that in the future I may not be here with them. My heart breaks for them and I have spent all morning crying. I am constantly nauseated and my breast hurts. More than that, I want all of them to have a wonderful, bright future- a future I have always wanted to be a part of and see. I want to be a grandmother, and watch how their lives unfold and what careers they choose- to see if they pick what they tell me from the time they can talk or if they choose something else. I am a single mom, and my relationship with my siblings is strained at best. A few months ago, my doctor was concerned about the pain in my breast and I was supposed to get a mammogram. The fear of what they might find won out and I chickened out. I refused to go to the appointment, brushing it off as something that was not a reality. My siblings were less than comforting and helpful, stating I was being a drama queen- which is why now, 3 months later, with the reality being much stronger, I have decided to keep this from certain people in my life. I am writing to anyone out there today who has experienced something similar, or who has gone through this themselves- to get my voice heard, and maybe receive support and understanding. The darkness that now looms in my life, threatens every moment. I do not want my children experiencing this and I want to keep it from them as long as I can. I am struggling today to be filled with joy and hope for the new year with them. I feel the need to draw them close and never let them out of my sight- fearing I may not have that opportunity later. I know I need to move past it for them and make the most of my time with them- to let them know how much they are loved. But even knowing that this is what I must do, I cannot find a way past my fear and anxiety, the overwhelming numbness that now fills me with every moment. I watch my children playing, using their imagination and I am filled with pride and love for them. I am praying for a miraculous outcome-that they caught it in time, that I will survive it- so I am asking any and all readers to also pray with me.
By marion scott5 years ago in Families
Lyle
WHO MURDERED MY BROTHER LYLE? Who murdered my brother Lyle? Surely someone close to him because after all he was stabbed nine times; overkill. A fatal blow to the liver, so it read on a rough handwritten note given to my sister from one of the officers who had the unfortunate task of delivering the message that my brother was dead; murdered on his 28th birthday.
By Cheryl Barnette5 years ago in Families
The Pain of Parenthood
Sometimes I wish I could do it all over again. I sit and I recollect on the events in my life that lead up to my child being born, I sit and I ponder about how I had the opportunity to do things the right way but chose the wrong way, therefore leading to my child being born into dysfunction. I often find myself being caught up in my shortcomings due to the fact I know I’m capable of so much more. I am grateful to have made it out of my teens with no children, but very much so disappointed in the fact I still had my child young. No one can prepare you for motherhood, not even yourself. This is because you are going through something you have never experienced before in your life. In my opinion, no matter how much you read, listen to stories, and even help with small children, motherhood is just one thing you cant prepare for. When I say this I mean, when you go to have your first child there is nothing you can do to truly prepare yourself. You don’t know what to expect because you have never been through it. How can you prepare yourself for pain you never experienced? That’s the most troubling thing about motherhood for me, the pain this beautiful thing brings you. I expected motherhood and pregnancy to have been this beautiful and exciting event. It was the complete opposite of that in my case, so I often find myself looking at my child in a skewed view. I dont hate my child, I don't resent my child, but I do wish I would have waited. Looking back now, I wish I would have followed my spirit. I know matter of fact my life would have been better, which in turn would have made theirs better as well. I find it ironic because you would never know I feel this way due to the fact my child is loved and they exemplify this in every way imaginable. But I often sit and think about the traumatic pregnancy I endured and the struggles we currently face. I can’t go and grind like I used too due to the fact I now have another human being to look after. That’s annoying as hell. Then I have to sit and calculate down to the minute on how many hours I need to work in order to have the basics covered, you can forget about anything “extra”. I hate that I even put myself in this boat, I know it can be made out of but why on earth did I do this in the first place. It was selfish as hell if you ask me, but it is so crazy because my child needs for nothing. They have been covered and taken care of since before they entered this realm. But I am so hard on myself due to the fact I know I am capable of more. So, the feeling of regret, loneliness, and anger are all normal in this journey of motherhood. I just wish I could have done things better, I never wanted my child to have to experience any type of struggle. I never wanted them to experience any kind of pain due to their circumstances, I wanted my children to grow up living a Huxtable type lifestyle. That’s what they deserve and only if I wouldn’t have been so selfish. But I also too have to give myself credit for the fact that my child is loved and very well taken care of. I do my best with what is provided to me. I just know I could be so much more and do way better than what I am currently doing. I said all this to say the emotional rollercoaster you feel with motherhood is normal. The good, the bad and the downright ugly, it’s all normal. Remind yourself you’re doing the best you can and that if you could do more you know you would, but this is all you have for the moment. Be kind to yourself for you are the CEO of a non stop business (your children and household are the business here) and you are a multifaceted woman. Only worry about what you can control and let the rest go. For mothers are phenomenal women who truly aren’t credited enough if you ask me. Love yourself a little extra and be gentle.
By Mother Amaru 5 years ago in Families
A Mother's Gifts of Grief this Christmas
It's Christmas Eve and the first Christmas without my son and his father. I am keeping it together, mostly. I have been so busy working, looking for work, hiking, or playing in the snow, I have not had much time to grieve. I mean, I have been working in a retail store during Christmas, the music alone has made me want to slit my wrists. But I haven't thought about that. Not today, anyway.
By Tereson Dupuy5 years ago in Families
What Lies Within (Prt 2)
What lies within(Part 2) “Hey Kayla!” “Hey Giselle where’s crystal and mom?” “Sleeping “ “No I’m not,” Crystal said coming around the corner. Kayla hugged crystal like her life depended on it. A few minutes passed and Loretta finally woke up seeing all three of her girls sitting in silence on the couch. Kayla stares at her then at Giselle, she let out a sigh then grabbed Crystal and they went upstairs.
By Crystal Randolph (Andricia LeShay)5 years ago in Families
Thankful for covid-19
Covid-19 has been hard for so many people. All I can say is sometimes god has a bigger plan in mind. Sometimes if you look hard enough when everything seems to be falling apart, what you are left with , is exactly what you have been needing or forgetting in life. Last year at this time all I could think about was what am I gonna do to keep a roof over my kids head. I could not breathe, my stomach was in knots, and for the first time I felt every mistake I have ever made all at once. Then my uncle got super sick while I was living under his roof. He almost died. He was literally the only thing keeping me from the streets. Everything seemed to be getting worse by the second. I had no idea what to do. my mom, surely would have went to a nursing home. without my uncle here she couldn't make it herself. All I could do is pray and try to figure out what to do. Luckily my uncle was able to come home. I did everything I could, while I could. I knew it was only a matter of time before I was asked to leave the apartment. I mean I didn't expect to stay here in the first place. I made an appointment to find public housing. On that same day covid 19 was just breaking news and by the end of the week stay at home orders came. Now I couldn't leave even if I wanted to. So while I waited to see what was going to come i found myself being able to give back to my mom and uncle. We told old stories. Played card games. I showed them all the wonders of technology a.k.a. how to use the phone they already had. Ordered prescriptions, made them at least try to manage it for themselves. Cleaned my butt off. Shoped for them and all that jazz. Heck I even lost 20 pounds. I began to finally see that sometimes life may not be perfect. I rarely is. But for me covid let me spend a little more time with those I love. Not only that, but I appreciated every minute. Who knows what tomorrow brings. Sure being piled in a one bedroom with 7 people is not ideal. But it sure beats not being able to see my mom because of covid. Sometimes you are exactly where you should be.
By Jennifer Sparks5 years ago in Families
Paper & Pencil - A Holiday Tradition
At a young age, my mother instilled in her children the practice of hand making cards and the sentimental value held within a simple, wispy piece of paper. Especially during the holidays, my mom's favorite part isn't the unwrapping of her gifts, but cracking open the cards made by her children.
By Angelica Pasquali5 years ago in Families
Christmas Angel
It is two weeks before Christmas and I enter my local Walmart. We are here to get basic household stuff and upon entering my three-year-old son sees the Christmas tree. This tree becomes the focus on his attention, and he starts with the questions right away.
By Katie Pope5 years ago in Families
A Perfectly Imperfect Christmas
I have been blessed with many Christmases, along with the capacity to remember decades of them (which is a blessing in and of itself), but reflecting on Christmas 2015 and our Facebook Christmas Card of that year, I would have to say it was a year to remember for all of the good things that happened, as a result of all the bad things that happened in the previous four years. It is a difficult story to tell and an even more difficult one to believe; I mean, the absurdity of it all – the comedy of errors, the pain, and recovery – all culminating in my epiphany, and my growth into the woman and grandmother I needed to be.
By Deborah Carson Weekly5 years ago in Families
