In A Blink of an Eye

I was looking out of the window while holding her hand. I could hear her wheezing, mumbling and gasping for air. I saw her eyes flutter backward, I just knew at that moment that I lost her. I missed the chance to say “good-bye” as she took her last breath.

Tears fell from my eyes as I softly kissed her hand and said “I love you” to her ears. Time of death was 11:55am, she was 75 years old and she was loved. I could feel my heart pounding right out of my chest and all that was on my mind was that I had just lost my best friend. My grandmother never wanted to be in the retirement home but my mother did not rest until she was accepted into the home. It was a constant battle back and forth because my grandmother was in denial that she had Alzheimer’s, she couldn’t control what was going on in her mind and she could barely remember our names.

My mother did not want to witness her mother slowly drifting apart.

I walked out of her room and down the hall to find a nurse. The nurses at the nursing station gave me their condolences and hugged me so tightly.

I stayed outside the room while the nurses tended to my grandmother’s body. They washed her from head to toe, they took care of her, and they made sure that she was beautifully wrapped for the morgue. The nurses were so insightful, so helpful, so comforting and such a great team of amazing people. One nurse, Mary, asked me if I would like any of her items from the nursing station before they were to clear the room. Mary gave me a huge gorgeous turquoise box with my grandmother’s name, Coretta Jones, engraved in gold cursive writing.

Alongside of the box, Mary also handed me a few garbage bags and allowed me to go back into my grandmother’s room to clear out the beautiful family photos, the television and the clothes in her drawers. Filled with emotion, I sat on the chair in the corner of the room, I opened the turquoise box to see what my grandmother had left. The box was a nice shade of little blue inside with many compartments and I did my best to look through it. I found a diamond ring which I’m sure was her wedding ring from my late grandfather, Earl Jones. Grandma was taking care of him until the day he passed away from pancreatic cancer before she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. They were married for 54 years, they had a love and a bond so strong! People today would kill to have the love that they shared. I continued to look through the box, I found a watch, a handmade necklace, a bracelet, a pair of earrings and then I realized that there was a bottom compartment which I thought was sealed.

I opened the bottom compartment and in it, I found a little black book with a gold pen underneath it. The book looked almost brand new and it smelt just like my grandmother’s favourite perfume.

I had a bit of time left before Mary was to come in and ask me if I had finished packing and decided to see what the little black book had inside. The top left hand corner of the page read “Please return to Coretta Jones, dated 1965”, my grandmother was 20 years old at the time.

As I read through a few pages, I learnt so much about my grandmother! I thought I knew her! But the woman that wrote in this diary was not a familiar one. She was interesting, she had spunk and I wanted to know more.

As I continued to read in her diary, the date changed from 1965 to 1970, in this part of her diary, she mentions that she had found a leather duffle bag filled with 20,000$ cash and then there was a knock at the door, it was Mary.

Mary entered the room and asked me if I needed a hand carrying the items to my car. I took the help and I closed the diary and placed it back inside the turquoise box. I carried the boxes and she helped carry the garbage bags filled with clothes to the car as I opened the trunk and we placed all of the items inside carefully.

I closed the trunk, thanked her for all of her hard work and also thanked her for taking such amazing care of my grandmother. She let me know that it’s her job and she takes absolute pride in what she does. As I was about to hug her, she gasped and said “wait, right here! I have something for you!”

She ran inside of the retirement home.

I was shocked, thinking of what she could have for me, I stood by the car and waited. The rain had cleared up and the sun had come out to show its beauty by peaking through the clouds and at that moment, I felt like my grandmother was shining down on me. A couple of minutes passed by and I see Mary running back towards me, she handed me 3 envelopes and told me that my grandmother had written a letter to me, a letter to my mother and one to my son. I thanked her once again and finally hugged her. On the drive home, I stopped by my favourite Greek restaurant and bought some dinner for my family.

I wanted us to have a nice dinner together since I needed to be surrounded by positivity and love. I came home and opened the door, my husband and my son were there to greet me with such extravagant smiles on their faces. We hugged so tightly, I embraced every moment of it.

My husband helped me carry the things from the car into the house and I looked into the dining room to see that the table was already set for dinner. I smiled and took the time to go and wash up. When I came back down, I realized that I left the envelopes in the glove compartment of the car.

I went outside to get the envelopes and set them on my dresser in the bedroom. My husband prepared our meals by placing them on our plates and we had a beautiful candlelight dinner just the 3 of us.

Once we finished our meals, I washed our dishes and cleaned the table as I was anxious to read the letters that my grandmother had left for us and to finish off where I had left in the little black book.

I started with my mother’s letter and it read that my grandmother was furious with her for years. Grandmother was not happy that my mom gave up her schooling to be with my father whom she currently not with today. I cried reading the letter and knew that I couldn't let my mother read it as she would be furious. Next, I read the letter to my son, it mentioned that my grandmother wished she would be able to see him grow up to be a man and that she wishes him the best in life. She mentioned that I am a smart woman to follow and that my son is lucky to have me as a mother. It then read that my grandmother left 20,000$ in his possession and he would only be able to retrieve it once he turns 18 years old and gets accepted into one of the finest colleges in the city. I held my chest, was that the same 20,000$ that she had found in a duffle bag? I felt the need to go back into my grandmother’s little black book and finish reading where I had left off.

Grandmother had written that after she found the duffle bag filled with 20,000$, she hid the bag in her basement and told not a soul. On the next page was a list of all the possibilities that she could have made use for that money. Travel across the world, buy a new house, live in the Caribbean, start a clothing business, emergency fund were just some examples that were listed. I thought to myself as to why didn’t she use the money for herself?

I read a few more pages and found out some information that I couldn’t believe! Grandmother had a sister! All this time, I thought she was an only child but within this page, grandmother wrote about finding out that she had a sister on her father’s side of the family that she had never met. This was an intriguing moment for me, could her sister still be alive? Did they ever meet? Have they ever been in contact before grandmother’s passing? I had so many questions.

I decided to look through the turquoise box again and evidently, I found a letter underneath her jewellery that I didn’t see before. On the envelope was the name “Mary”. Could it be Mary who works at the retirement home and who had been caring for my grandmother?

I made the decision to read the letter and it read that Mary would inherit the house that grandma had following her passing. At the very bottom had the address of the nursing home where grandmother was staying. The only thought that I had in my mind is that Grandmother knew Mary was her sister but the Alzheimer’s disease took over and made her think that Mary was just an employee.

With a heavy heart, I went back to the retirement home in the morning and asked to meet with Mary. Mary was a 60 year old woman with curly hair, long red nails and a smile that could light up the room. She is just as gorgeous as grandmother was. I could completely notice the resemblance now.

Her hands were trembling like she had just seen a ghost, I asked her what was wrong and she let me know that she has anxiety when she doesn’t know what she has done wrong. I looked at her and said “Welcome to the family, auntie!” She was confused and speechless, I could literally see a huge question mark expression on her face.

I slipped her the envelope that my grandmother had left for her and when she opened the letter, within minutes, I saw tears run down her face. She gave me a hug so tight that it reminded me of how grandmother used to hug me when she had her strength and she knew who I was.

In this moment, it dawned on me that I didn’t receive any money from grandmother yet I received something way more valuable than money! I gained a family member and I wouldn’t trade that for anything in the world. I know my grandmother would have been proud to have seen this moment, her granddaughter and her sister meeting for the first time.

Time stayed still while my Aunt Mary and I were together, it seemed like the clock had stopped just for us. I held my Aunt Mary’s hand and thanked her for taking such amazing care of grandmother. Her hand started trembling , when she turned her head to look at me, her face started drooping and she mispronounced my name then she collapsed to the ground. I screamed for help and called 911.

I told Aunt Mary to stay with me because the ambulance was on the way. That day, Aunt Mary suffered from a stroke. I knew she was not going to make it yet I still had hope that she would. She was buried right next to my grandmother the following week. I carried grandmother’s little black book with me and sat by their graves.

I noticed that there were a few empty pages and I decided to write that I met Aunt Mary. I also noted that “the sisters have been reunited in paradise”. I may have lost two very important women in my life but I have this little black book to remember them by and to keep their memories alive.