How To Tell If Your Partner Is Cheating

One of the easiest to spot, and yet so often missed, clues that your partner is being unfaithful could save you an enormous amount of grief if only you knew what to look for.

Of course, there are a multitude of clues, such as falsely accusing you of having an affair. That is what they call guilt projection. But that is not it.

Another clue is suggesting an open relationship, which normally comes long after they have already started down that path. And that is not it either.

Telephone calls where the caller hangs up only when you pick up the phone is yet another. That is still not it.

A higher than normal telephone bill is another, especially when it is accompanied by calls to a number you do not recognise, and those calls usually only take place when you are out of the house. And yes, you guessed it, that is not it.

Now I could go on and on all night long here. Your partner taking extra care of themselves with new clothes and cologne. The love of your life having mood swings more often than normal.

What each and every one of these clues are doing is telling you "This is water" by drinking it, splashing it on your skin, pouring it over your head, flicking it in your face...it is water! All of the above clues are saying "It's an affair, it's an affair, it's an affair...." And if you have missed all of those clues, you have fallen into a deep sea of deceit where you will drown.

So, what is that sign that you missed? It's such a tiny, subtle sign it is all too easy to miss. Is it that he or she seems more aggressive towards you lately? That can be a sign that something is going on behind your back. They become angry towards you because they blame their affair all on you. That is called blame deflection.

It is like a thief who gets caught out and always blames the victim. It is as if they believe that you made them do that to you. And because it is all your fault, they get angry with you. And that anger can get completely out of hand when you do find out there is an affair and confront them with your discovery. The thief always blames the policeman, not themselves.

Now I have to tell you, it can be a very dangerous thing to confront somebody about their infidelity. The aggression can go off the scale and could end up physical, with physical injury and even death possible. So be very careful about that one.

Are you still wondering about that hidden-in-plain-view clue I mentioned right at the start? You'll kick yourself when I reveal to you what it is. Ok, I'll help you out a little here. Are you ready?

Remember one thing, the eyes are the windows to your soul, your deepest feelings, your hidden treasure of memories, good, bad, and indifferent. Can you see where I am going with this yet?

Ok, let's go all the way back to the very beginning of your relationship when you very first fell head over heels in love with your partner. And as you looked longingly at that beautifully formed face, the soft touch of her lips, the healthy shine of his or her complexion, and those eyes....Was there not a special kind of glint in those gorgeous almond eyes...It felt like you could read each other's minds in those eyes. And that is because you could. And right there, at long last we come to it. It is all in the eyes!

Don't ever stop reading those eyes of your partner, because they will tell you everything you want or need to know. Believe me, if your partner is having an affair it is almost impossible to not show it in their eyes. That is why some people take to wearing sunglasses. They are not to keep out the blinding sun, they are to keep out other prying eyes. And that is because your partner, especially if it's a woman, instinctively knows that they are showing their deceit.

I have even had the experience where, as I was reading my cheating ex-wife's eyes by staring deeply and intently into those wonderous orbs, she suddenly exclaimed "What? What are you thinking? You think I'm cheating on you, don't you? I can see it in your eyes." Talk about a confession, a guilty conscience getting the better of her. Of course, she was fishing as well, to see if I suspected what she was up to.

If I had my time over again I would not confront my partner about her affair. Oh no, I would calmly set about secretly making preparations for the separation to come. Find somewhere else to move into at a moment's notice, start to move money out of her reach...do whatever you need to in order to make the physical departure as smooth and stress free as possible. Do not get angry, get smart.

Separation and divorce is like going to war. It is going to get nasty, very nasty indeed. And you have to be cold and calculating to survive it intact. Remember, downstairs for dancing, upstairs for thinking. Use your head not your heart and you just might come out of it ok.

I will leave you with one more piece of vital advice. It is very easy to get sucked back into trusting your cheating partner. I did that and got very badly hurt. She asked me if I was ok financially, if was I getting social security support to pay the rent on a house I had to move into. I let my guard down and said yes. Big, big mistake.

The following Monday she rang the social security office to accuse me of making a fraudulent claim for assistance. I wasn't, but that didn't matter. I got hauled over the coals and threatened with prison by the government as a result of that malicious call she made. My advice is to tell them nothing, zilch, nada. The less you say or tell them, the better, the less trouble you will have to suffer. Good luck.