How To Tell When Somebody Is Lying

My youngest brother Rob reckons you can easily tell when somebody is lying, it's when they start to move their lips.

Through bitter experiences, I have come across some other ways.

Running hot and cold, saying too much. (methinks thou doth protesteth too much) or too little.

Excessive self-grooming, stroking their hair, or body parts.

Covering parts of the face, the eyes, or the mouth.

Excessive fidgeting, with the hands or indeed the whole body.

Avoiding direct eye contact, constantly diverting their eyes, as if looking for a way out.

Using irregular speech patterns, with the tone of voice constantly rising and falling.

Irregular breathing, anxiety arising from being in a stressful situation.

Here are some more verbal ways liars use to try to conceal a lie, or a pack of lies.

When somebody says "I wouldn't do that" rather than "I didn't do that." That is because they are not comfortable telling a blatant lie, that they did not do that, nor are they comfortable telling the truth, that they did do that, so they say something which sounds like a denial but actually isn't.

Another giveaway is when somebody tells you "I promise....." or "Honest to God...." or "Trust me....." or "Please believe me." These are all trying to sell you a lie.

The truth does not have to ask for or demand to be believed!

I well remember one time my second ex-wife, in collusion with a corrupt solicitor, tried to sell me the idea that I was going to get custody of my young son. As we sat in her solicitor's office, I had already sensed that something untoward was afoot. I was merely going along with it to see how it all played out.

It all started with a phone call out of the blue. He and she tried to meet up with me for a cozy, informal chat in some local bar, pretending to be a friend. After I declined that offer, they moved to step two of their action plan.

About a week later I got a registered letter from the self-same guy stating that I must meet up with him in his office or face adverse legal consequences.

Upon meeting this charlatan I almost immediately remembered him from six months previous when I took her to court for denying me access to my young son. This fool of a corrupt solicitor was there, trying to hide behind her, on her side of the courtroom. Thank the lord, I have been blessed with a photographic memory. Now I really did smell a rat.

At one point during the meeting, he boasted that he was the only man in Spain who had ever got full custody of his son. A blatant lie. I know of many men who have got custody of a child or children. And I have to say I once saw a great deal of this man in the streets out of hours, and I never once saw him with a child! A total bullshit merchant if ever I met one.

The next thing that struck me was that when somebody spends ten years denying you access to your child, suddenly comes over all very cooperative and offers you not just access but custody, something is truly amiss.

After that first meeting, I had been asked to go to the solicitor's office to sign some papers giving me custody. So I went, curious to know what was really in the offing.

My ex-wife sat opposite me at her solicitor's desk whilst he went out of his office to the bathroom.

"You have to start to trust people you know, Ralph. You can't go on in life expecting to get anywhere not trusting anybody. You have to trust us."

Then he returned and she left the room. I was being team tagged by this pair of evil clowns. At that previous meeting, I had asked him who was paying him for his services as an intermediary. He told me that it was paid for as part of a local government initiative to help divorced couples in conflict. I found out later that that was a blatant lie, no such a scheme existed.

Thank the lord I refused to sign the papers unread. The slimy solicitor said he would read out the papers to me. I said no, I want to read them with my own eyes. He refused and accused me of not trusting him. He was right about that at least. He got very angry with me, no doubt because he realised he had been rumbled, and resorted to screaming insults at me as he thumped his desktop. I just got up and left and, even as I was walking out, he was trying to bring me back with "You'll get another opportunity like this, Ralph." I just kept on walking right out the door.

Unbelievably, they later entered the unsigned document into the courts, no doubt believing that even unsigned, the document had the power to do me a lot of damage.

What did that document say? Ahaaaaa...

It stated, in great detail, that I confessed I had alcohol and drug problems and admitted that I was not a fit father. That I recognised that I did not love my son and nor did he love me. That I was happy for my ex to leave the country with our son and never see him, ever again.

I have never drunk anything, apart from the odd glass of wine, or beer, once or twice a month. The closest I ever got to drugs was when I once mistakenly took a few puffs on a joint thinking it was a cigarette.

As for loving my son, he was my world. I was totally devoted to him. And upon seeing that document I was well and truly destroyed.

Of course, I denounced the solicitor to the authorities and he got banned from practice for three months. His revenge was to bill me for his time as an intermediary, and he threatened to sue me if I didn't pay up in seven days. I got him banned for that too.

As for my pathological liar of an ex-wife, shortly after all of this nonsense, she left the country with my son and I have not seen him since. That was in 2014! I have not got a clue where he is or what he is doing. My thoughts on that are that he has read that document about me and my so-called addictions and lack of love for him, and he has believed every single word.

To bring this article to a close, I must say that all of the above signs of lying that I mentioned above, I witnessed with my very own eyes. Not that it did me a lot of good, though at least I didn't fall for the lies. I saw through them and did not believe them for one moment, and I certainly did not sign that travesty of a document.

So, remember those signs above. Embed them into your hard drive and be very wary of those who suddenly appear ready to give you what you've been fighting very hard for over a long period of time.

The only other observation I would like to make here is how badly intentioned or behaved people delude themselves into believing that their victim is stupid enough to fall for their highly transparent lies. It's not as if I am some sort of genius or ace detective or psychologist. Anybody of average intelligence can see through blatant lies. Clearly, my pathological liars took me for a complete and utter, gullible fool.

As it happens, without wishing to sound boastful, I am of above average intelligence AND I have a lifetime of experience of having to deal with misguided liars. So more fool them for trying.