How to Save a Marriage !

“People don’t know how to stay in love. Life tends to get in the way, especially when you have children."

1. Stop assuming.

Are the bowls clean? your companion inquires. And you confront them, asking them why they keep accusing you of failing to do your bit to maintain the home. They are unable to see how busy you are with life and job. Couples who have been together for a while often assume they are familiar with one another. According to Torres-Gregory, they start to make assumptions about one another's thoughts and motivations and become irate and reactive as a result.

Here's the thing: Your fury could not even be motivated by the actual circumstances, but rather by a mental fight you're having. Decide to stop making these assumptions, and if you suspect a question or comment has a particular intent, at least inquire. This will put you on the right track to

2. Make a weekly date.

You two need to play together again, just like you used to. Go on one or two dates per week without talking about your issues (or kids, if you have them). "Return to the fundamentals. What did you do prior to being married that you don't currently do? Bonnie Eaker Weil, PhD, a couples therapist in New York City and the author of Make Up, Don't Break Up: Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples, asks, "What did you do when you first fell in love?"

You've already scheduled your next date if the answer is to play mini golf, bowl, or meet at a fashionable bar for a trendy drink.

3. Fight fair.

Let's be honest: You can't just wave your hand around like a magic wand to erase pent-up animosity that has sometimes been there for years. But it's all right.

To complete this Eaker Weil activity, you must schedule a brief "meeting" with your partner. (Like on Tuesday from 7:30 to 8). You engage in fair combat at this time. You'll start by explaining to them why you're upset or what grievance you have. Finish by requesting a change from them. I feel like you never have time for me, for instance. You spend all of your leisure time working at home, playing golf, or hanging out with the boys. Even if it's only for ten minutes a week, I want you to schedule some time for me.

4. Try a Hail Mary.

Let's assume that while your spouse does not, you want to save your marriage. (Sorry.) Eaker Weil advises taking a deliberate, organized break. "This isn't meant to be mean-spirited. I want to save our marriage, but I can see you don't feel the same way, it's saying. Let's separate for a while," she says. This might be for just one night, but according to Eaker Weil, four to six weeks is the typical duration that provides the spouse "a kick in the ass."It's not a penalty. A wake-up call, The goal is to make your lover miss you, so refrain from calling, messaging, and most likely having any intercourse during this period.

5.Why Do I Care About Helping You So Much?

You might think that nobody on earth can know what it's like to be you right now... But trust me, I do.

My best friend Jane thought her entire world had ended when her husband came home one night and asked for a divorce, telling her that it was over and nothing could make him change his mind.

She stared in shock, she cried, she asked for an explanation, but no answer she got really made sense.

Apparently her husband Adam had been unhappy for a while. Doing long hours at work, always coming home tired, he was sick of the monotony of his life and felt constrained by the expectations of his wife and family.

Learn more simple ways to save your Marriage by clicking HERE