How to overcome your mistakes



In a study conducted in 2019, more than 400 participants were recruited to embark on the journey of learning a mysterious, entirely fabricated language. The methodology employed in this study was rather unique. Participants were presented with sets of three rune pairs, and they were tasked with determining the meaning of these runes. For example, they had to decide which of two characters represented an animal. After a short break, the participants were revisited with the same rune pairs, but the questions were reversed. Now, they were asked which of the two runes represented a non-living object. What made this game intriguing was that the answers provided by the participants in the first round actually dictated the meanings of these runes in the second round.

In the initial round, participants were divided into two groups: one group received positive feedback, with all their answers marked as correct regardless of their accuracy, while the other group was consistently given the message of failure, with their responses marked as incorrect. This ensured that, by the time of the break, all participants possessed an equivalent amount of information. When the second round began, they were playing for real. However, despite the level playing field established by this approach, those who succeeded in the first round continued to excel, while the individuals designated as failures remained in a cycle of underperformance.

Failure is often depicted as a valuable learning experience, a necessary stumbling block on the path to improvement. But the reality is that learning from failure is not always straightforward, especially when these failures are disheartening, overwhelming, or perplexing. So, what are the factors that prevent us from turning our failures into stepping stones toward mastery?

One of the most apparent obstacles to learning from failure is the emotional pain associated with it. People generally want to perceive themselves as capable and competent, and encountering failure threatens this self-image. In a follow-up survey conducted after replicating the rune study, participants in the failure group indicated significantly lower levels of self-confidence. While it's tempting to dismiss this pain as a temporary setback, some studies suggest that when individuals feel demoralized or incompetent, their brains often struggle to process new information. This implies that if the threat to one's self-esteem is substantial, it can impede their capacity to learn.

However, the ability to tolerate failure also depends on one's relationship with the task at hand. In a 2011 study, researchers surveyed a group of American students enrolled in introductory and advanced French courses. These students were asked about their preferences regarding teaching styles – whether they preferred a teacher who highlighted their strengths and successes or one who focused on their mistakes and helped them correct their weaknesses. The responses revealed an interesting pattern. Beginner students tended to seek positive reinforcement, possibly as a means to stay motivated as they were still deciding if they enjoyed learning French and wanted to continue. On the other hand, advanced students, already committed to their learning journey, expressed a greater desire for critical feedback. This difference in preference can be attributed to the fact that gaining expertise often involves facing and learning from failures, which may have enhanced the advanced students' tolerance for making mistakes.

Whether you are an expert or a novice, it is generally more straightforward to learn from your successes than your failures. For example, consider receiving your grade for an exam. If you aced it, you can reasonably assume that you made effective choices regarding when, what, and how much to study, and you can replicate these decisions for future tests. In contrast, if you failed, there could be a myriad of reasons for it. Perhaps you didn't study enough, studied the wrong material, or, in some cases, did everything right, but the exam covered topics that you couldn't have been expected to know. Such situations make it challenging to pinpoint precisely what went wrong and, consequently, how to improve.

While it is entirely natural to want to learn from our failures and there is indeed much to gain from being resilient and fostering a growth mindset, it is equally important not to fixate solely on failures. Often, building on your strengths and the aspects where you are already succeeding can be more effective than fixating on your mistakes.