How to Overcome Dowry Demands and Family Harassment After Marriage

First of all, I want to say thank you. The question you asked is not just yours alone, but it might resonate with many other women who face similar issues and troubles, especially in this pandemic situation, where they are harassed mentally by their husbands and other family members. By putting this question here, you are helping bring attention to the struggles of many women who, due to some reason—whether lack of courage or other problems—are unable to ask for help themselves. You are helping them find a path toward a solution.

First of all, you should try to explain to him in different ways by giving some real examples. For instance, you can say, "You married 10 years ago, and you might have a daughter. Then ask your husband, along with your family members, ‘If after 20 years we marry off our daughter and her husband starts to insult, abuse, and beat her, and she is harassed, how would you feel? Would you be able to accept that?’ If not, then I am also a daughter and sister to somebody. So why are you behaving with me like an animal?

If I fall sick, you leave me and call my family members to give me money to admit me to the hospital. This means you have not accepted me as your family member. Till now, I have sacrificed for you, leaving behind my own dreams to support and help you grow in yours. I see your mother as my mother. I see your father as my father. I see your sister as my younger or elder sister, which means I have accepted every member of your family as my own. But even with all your family members combined, you have not been able to accept one single woman as your own daughter or family member.

Relationships are built on trust, and to make them strong, both sides need to put in equal effort. They can’t work one-sided. But if, after all this, your husband and family members still force you to give dowry, then I suggest you consider divorce. I know this is a bitter truth, and it’s hard to accept, but think about the future. If you fall ill or face a disease, they might leave you to fend for yourself, and your survival would depend on luck.

What can you expect from such family members? It’s better to invest that money in a business or learn a skill that can help you start a job and become financially independent. I didn’t suggest divorce earlier because it impacts the child, as they may not get love from both parents and family members. However, if the child continues living in such a greedy family and circumstances, their thoughts may also become polluted, and they might repeat the same story in the future.

Nowadays, many NGOs also work to support women and cooperate with them. You can also seek assistance from them, and many government laws are available to protect women. Unfortunately, these laws are not widely known, and many people are unaware of them. As a result, those individuals often face harassment. Below, I have attached some headings and details about the laws. You can search and read more about them:

1)Legal Framework Against Dowry 2)Protection Against Dowry Harassment 3)Rights of Women in Dowry-related Disputes 4)Domestic Violence Laws and Dowry Harassment 5)Legal Remedies for Women Facing Dowry Demands 6)Criminal Provisions Related to Dowry 7)Legal Recourse for Women Facing Domestic Abuse 8)Divorce and Dowry-related Issues: Legal Grounds 9)The Role of Women's Rights Organizations in Dowry Cases 10)Maintenance and Alimony Laws for Dowry Victims

Still, I suggest you first try your level best to explain to your husband and family members that you don’t want to give money. It doesn’t matter if your family members are capable of giving dowry or not. Tell them, ‘It is against my ethics and principles to pay dowry because I feel you give more importance to money than to me.’"