How to Convince a Parent with Dementia to Go to Assisted Living

Convincing a parent with dementia to move to an assisted living and memory care facility is certainly one of the more trying times for any family. The thought of putting a loved one into someone else's care stirs feelings of guilt, fear, and anxiety. But when it comes down to safety and well-being, finding the right assisted living and memory care community is key. This article is going to explain the best steps in making the transition easier and encouraging a productive conversation with your parent relating to this life-changing decision.

Be Empathetic About Their Views

First off, take compassion on your parent's feelings. Dementia creates confusion, fear, and even makes individuals disoriented. Moving to assisted living can be overwhelming for them. Ensure you take time to listen to their concerns and acknowledge their feelings. Whenever they show unwillingness or anger, be patient and caring. Your parent will not have a full understanding of the risks faced by living alone or losing their independence. Acknowledging these feelings can help to create trust and open the lines of discussion into a more constructive conversation.

Emotional Answers for Specific Common Fears:

• Loss of independence
• Unfamiliar surroundings will bring anxious moments
• Fear of being abandoned or forgotten
• Denial of their condition

By empathizing with their concerns and reassuring them, you thus give them a safe haven.

Involve Them in the Decision

A strong motivator to get a parent who suffers from dementia to move into assisted living is to include that parent in the decision-making process. When seniors are involved in decisions regarding their care, they tend to accept the outcome more readily. This can be very empowering, even to individuals with cognitive decline.

How to Include Them:

• Go visit various assisted living communities together.
• Ask for their opinion on each facility's look and feel.
• Discuss with them their personal needs and preferences.

Educate on the choices, explaining why memory care services will be to their benefit, depending on their condition. Speak positively, not judgementally and warmly, always explaining how they will be included in all decisions made.

Focus on Their Health and Safety

Probably, one of the best ways to do this is by reframing the conversation to the safety and well-being of your parent. Let them know, as sweetly as possible, some of the dangers they face in their lives for as long as they will be living at home. Most people with dementia suffer from difficulties with daily living activities, including the administering of their medicines, the preparation of their food, or even their hygiene. For this reason, they get exposed to all the risk of accidents that include; falls, malnutrition, and other preventable issues among them.

Points to Raise:

• The need for full-time care and monitoring.
• The access to medical personnel and assistants.
• How dementia-specific units of care work differently to meet the needs of the dementia sufferer.

To many, the concept of care that can enhance the quality of life will be relevant and apt, especially if explained along the lines of avoiding degradation or undue pain.

Seek the Assistance of Professionals

For family members, it might be difficult to persuade a parent without assistance. In such circumstances, the involvement of a third party may prove necessary. This third party could include a doctor, a geriatric care manager, or a social worker who understands the nature of dementia. It may make your persuasion much more believable when trying to explain why moving the parent into assisted living is necessary with a professional's explanation.

Professional assistance can:

• Provide an objective review of your parent's cognitive and physical status.
• Recommendations supported by professional experience.
• Avoid putting stress on the family during emotionally charged sessions.

If the assisted living and memory care programs are explained to the parent as having these benefits, then the parent is likely to be more open to the idea.

Emphasize the Desirable Benefits of Assisted Living

Many older adults make every attempt to avoid a transfer to a facility since they feel a loss of freedom or complete isolation. Newer types of assisted living communities have been designed to foster interaction, activity, and as much independence as possible. Reference the benefits of living in an assisted living community to shift the perspective of your parent.

Advantages of Assisted Living: 

• Interaction and friendships with peers through group activities, events, and outings 
• Leisure pursuits and hobbies.

• Ensure that your loved one has been placed in an environment that is well-structured, yet supportive, encouraging independence, as well as the right amount of help when assistance is required.

• Prepare healthy meals daily according to the individual's needs.

Paint a picture for your parent that the assisted living could be a vibrant, caring community rather than isolation. This might help them to perceive it as a new chapter in life with many opportunities to socialize and get active.

Take Baby Steps

Haste makes waste, and it may force the decision more than making the parent resist the transition. You need to approach the transition gradually. You can begin with slight exposure to the idea of assisted living. You may first invite them to join you for short-term respite care or visit with you and your family at a local assisted living community for some events.

Pacing the Transition

• Short-term stay: Book a temporary stay in an assisted living facility so that your parent will familiarize himself or herself with the surroundings before committing long-term.

• Tours and visits: Plan visits to various facilities so that they are acquainted with the setup and its people.

• Meeting with current residents: Let your parent mingle with other seniors also transitioning.

These small steps will let them adjust to the idea without feeling weighted.

Reframed Move as a Positive Change for You

It's imperative to explain how the move will benefit not just your parent but you and the rest of the family as well. Most seniors feel guilty to be a burden on their loved ones and therefore; something that can improve everybody's lives could be appealing to them. You explain that this is a stress-reducing activity, knowing they are safe, well taken care of, and getting the attention they need.

Framing the conversation like this:

• "I worry about you every day. Having you in a place where you can get the best care would bring me peace of mind.".

• "I understand you want to stay home, but I feel it's no longer safe for you to be there. I wish this would be the best for you, and I think this will make it."

The presentation of this move as a means of providing their safety and happiness while freeing family members from undue worry works in supporting moving the conversation into a different light.

Conclusion

Helping a parent transition to assisted living requires patience, understanding, and even persistence. Discussing their fears or issues regarding assisted living and memory care with the parent and explaining in detail how this transition would be beneficial for them also makes this transition easier for everyone. Professional assistance and gradual steps toward the move also help the parents not be resistant to the change. The ultimate goal, therefore is to ensure that your parent receives the best possible care yet maintains their dignity and quality of life.