Happy 2020

When thinking about what I am the most thankful for this year I would hands down have to say growth. The growth of my little family. While most people would describe this awful year by using phrases like “f@!k 2020” or “worst year ever” I would say it is the best so far even with how scary it has been.

In 2012 a 19 year old me had a little boy named Vincent. He was born a month early and spent a month to his due date in the NICU. Born premature he had contracted HSV1 which later on we had found out from a nurse who had a cold sore. He had sleep apnea as well where he would stop breathing while sleeping anywhere from a few seconds up to a few minutes. With his HSV we would have frequent breakouts which meant frequent doctors visits, medicine treatments which were rough on his little stomach and blood draws multiple times a week. Doctors had told me that he could end up deaf, blind, have learning disabilities or even be under developed. After a year old the breakouts slowed down but he would get sick easier than anything.

At two years old we moved from Iowa to Arizona to start over. We didn’t know anyone and decided to take a leap of faith. At 4 years old and being a single mom for that much of Vincent’s life I met Matthew. It was hard bringing someone into our lives that wanted so much to do with Vincent. A few months later we had gotten pregnant and at two months I miscarried. It was hard on Matthew and I but we told ourselves that the timing just was not right. When Vince was 6 years old Matthew and I got married. And then on Vincent’s 7th birthday we moved back to Iowa. Being close to family was something that I needed.

My moms health was horrible. Thanksgiving of 2019 my mom was having bad strokes and we found out that she had a very significant brain aneurysm. Our family came together and by Christmas my mom had the aneurysm clipped. Those two months were the hardest but her strokes never stopped but having the aneurysm gone we thought meant nothing else could be worse.

Fast forward to February first of 2020 and I took that pregnancy test. Waiting the three longest minutes of my life to see that “positive” on a pregnancy test. Back in February, COVID-19 had not gotten bad yet. Me, 27 years old and newly pregnant. My 25 year old sister due in March and my 23 year old sister due in June. We were all so excited to be pregnant together. My moms health, however, just kept getting worse and worse. It seemed like she was having strokes more and more, having throwing up episodes which the doctors could not figure out the reason to and periods of her being in and out of the hospital. By the end of March, Covid had gotten bad. My 25 year old sister had her healthy baby boy. Me and my other sister unfortunately had to go to appointments sometimes without our significant others. As much as I wanted Vincent to be apart of this pregnancy he wasn’t able to. There were ultrasound appointments where I could only FaceTime Matthew because he wasn’t allowed back. The scariest thing was thinking about if he was going to be allowed in the delivery room and having my mom in the room like she was for the birth of Vince. My midwives reassured me to take it one day at a time.

Through lockdowns and mask mandates I worked at a grocery store. I was an essential worker on the frontlines and my new biggest worry was a pregnant me with a bad immune system contracting Covid and bringing it home to Vincent who also has a bad immune system and my mom who has many medical issues. With 2020 being so bad on everyone my mom was constantly worried that I was going to have issues with my pregnancy. She would call me multiple times per day to check in as I was distancing myself for her health and safety.

In June my little sister had her healthy baby boy. Her significant other was allowed to be in the room with her but Covid was just getting worse and worse. When I reached my 36 weeks pregnant mark my midwives were so beyond happy. I made it longer with this baby than I did with Vincent.

On September 14th at about 7 am my contractions started while I was at work and continued all day. By 3 pm they were stronger and by 6 I was trying to sleep but couldn’t. I was in and out of the bath and timing each contraction. At 8:30 Matthew had called our midwife and by 9:15 we had called my mom to come over. When she got to us at 9:45 we had left for the hospital soon after. We made it to the parking lot when my water broke. We made it inside and to the room. My midwife made it there and not being there even 10 minutes Odin was born. Matthew was able to witness his first child being born and my mom was able to be there as my doula. My midwife almost didn’t make it as she ran a light and made it to the room in seven minutes. SEVEN! What dedication she had to be there for me.

After Odin was born they put him on me and deliveeed the placenta. My midwife had expressed her concern about the amount of blood I was losing. My mom, not showing any emotion at the time had later shared that she was so worried. “Odin had made it safely to the world but then I saw the amount of blood and I was worried that I was going to lose you. I prayed. This has been such a bad year but you were not being taken away from us.” They saw how responsive I was with Odin as Matthew cut the cord about 25 minutes after delivery and seeing the placenta, feeding a screaming Odin that they knew I was going to be okay.

Odin being born and not having any problems in the hospital was so beyond new to me. He breastfed like a champ. I remember feeling so weird when they discharged us because I didn’t get that with Vincent. I felt like we were kidnapping a baby because it felt so odd taking him home right away.

Odin being born in a pandemic. Getting to the hospital in labor with him having to wear a mask but getting to my room with my support system and not being able to breathe for my nurses to tell me to just take my mask off. Having Vincent and two hours later having to do “the dreaded COVID test” as my nurse had said to me. My moms health continues to be sketchy and my 15 year old brother has started having strokes since October...but my mom continues to say that Odin being here healthy and safe in all of this sickness and madness that is 2020 has given her hope. He has given us joy in all of this sorrow of people dying. He continues to surprise us with his health. 2020 may be scary and bad to some but it has been the best year for my family. It has expanded my family in a way that we needed. Happy 2020 everyone. Here is to 2021!