17 months

Today is that day I mark 17 months without you.

I have learned a lot in these 17 months without you.

I learned to stand and speak my mind to people who I need to deal with.

I have lost a few friends along the way who I felt I could deal without them in my life without you. in it.

Yes, it has been a long 17 months without you, but we are dealing with the best way that we can.

There is a lot to learn as life goes on without you. I know that you are guiding me along the way. You are my private cheerleader in heaven above.

I have changed a long in this house without you in the 17 months that you have been gone.

Some of the changes have been for the good and some have been bad, so I still have a lot to learn as the months go by without you.

I have learned to do things that I thought that I would never learn to do. Like change a broken lock on the door. Fix the light in the oven.

Guess who since you have been gone in these pasted 17 months my cooking has gotten better. Our son, who miss also has been liking my meatloaf.

As for our son his talks about you and how he misses you.

You would be happy to know that he out of this own now. I have been working around this place and learning how to fix things there also.

In 17 months, it has been a learning process of things that you have left for me to do. I have learned that I am alone in my grief. It is ok to ask for help from people in this world. I think that it helps me with my grieving your loss.

I have a new friend in my life. Yes, it is a dog. He has been here since two months since you passed away. He is comfort to have around. I think that you would love him just like I do.

It helps me get out of the house these pasted 17 months with the dog. I made him my service dog. He loves going places with me and staying in hotels these pasted 17 months.

I think that dog takes some of the pain of missing you always in these pasted 17 months since you have been gone.

I have slowly started watching some the sports that you liked watched. It will take time for me to sit and watch them completely.

I really sad when I watch golf, I know how much you loved that sport. I am learning to watch it slowly. Maybe this year when The Masters, I can watch it completely to start to finish.

In these pasted 17 months I have been able to do some of your buckle list things. Your son and I and the dog took a train back to home. Yes, it was the auto train. It was nice not to have to drive all those miles.

As you can see that I am writing again. I think it might be part of my healing. I am still seeing therapist and other ones and so is your son. I think that it is helping us.

I am writing again, it has been a long time since that I am writing things on paper, but it seems it is a release for me.

In a few months it will be 2 years, they say that 2 year is is hardest to cope with, but I think that I am will sumble and pick myself up but for now I will deal with the 17 months without here.