Growing Up

My name is Ussainato Marie, I was born on 06/04/1992 the day I came into this world I always knew I was a daddy's girl. My dad would spend a lot of time with me. When he comes home late from work I would hear the keys jiggle in door and I would stand up at my crib and wait for him to come get me out the crib. 2 years later I turned 2 years old and my sister Nisha was born on 06/27/1994 my dad left my mom for another woman.

My dad continued to be a father to my little sister and I even though my mother moved a lot and we grew up I was 6 and my sister was 4 my dad use to take us up the street to a ice parlor next to my house and get us ice cream, he use to get us all favorite food for the house, give us money, take us clothes and shoe shopping.

When I turned 8 years old, my mom moved my little sister and I to Pawtucket, RI and she met and married a Spanish man and he became our step-father but I never liked him and my little sister didn't either because he use to treat us bad. My dad would come to pick us up every weekend we would tell him that we would want to go live with him because our step father would treat us so bad but my dad would take us to go eat eat and shopping and give us 100 dollars each and we would even invite our friends to come eat with us and when we would come back home it was hell all over again our step dad would be jealous because we would show our mom what our dad bought us we would have a happy look on our faces.

One day our step dad treated us so bad that we told our mom it was either us or him my sister and I had our bags packed and were ready for whatever decision she was going to make. She chose us over him and told him I can't be with someone that my kids don't like or even hurt them. so he packed his bags and we packed everything and we moved without him. I know my mom was upset thinking she had a great man but he wasn't a great man.

As we got older into our high school years my dad would still come around and he was always the one to buy us the best shoes and clothes and back packs for school my sister and I always looked fresh. The day that I dropped out of the 10th grade that's when my life started going down hill didn't want to do anything for myself and my dad just stopped coming to see us and I believed for a long time that it was my mom's fault but comes to find out he had a new wife and we found out we had a 6 year old sister.

As I got into my 20s I haven't seen dad in years. I have 2 beautiful kids and my dad never met them he missed out so much in their life as he missed out so much in my 20s I wanted to believe him so many times when he would say I'll come meet them when I have a day off. I was tired of the excuses so I just stop talking and messaging him all together when he's ready to be a father and grandfather he can message me.

All I ever wanted was my dad to be the dad I needed, a dad I can talk to about everything, ask him for advice, be able to spend time with his grandkids and take them out when I was once a little happy kid, go out to lunch with me, being able to ask him for help when I need it and I see why I grew up to not being to trust men and not want relationships because I see the men like my dad and I wanted my dad to grow me up into this beautiful intelligent, smart woman but I did that all with my mom's help she was my mother and father threw everything she made me the woman I am today she struggled to take care of my little sister and I all by her self in a country where she didn't know English and I thank god everyday for making her a strong woman being able to push threw when the times were tough.

She made it without my dad and I made it without him too and one day my kids would make it without him it's my dad's lost if he don't want to be part to be part of our lives.

The END!!!