Gone Too Soon

Imagine you wake up one Friday morning planning to have a wonderful weekend with a love one, only to receive the sad news that this person passed on last night. What would you do? Yes, this lines may sound familiar to many, especially for mid age adults. At this stage in life, people start loosing parents, siblings, parents in-law, friends, uncles and aunties. For some people it could be a spouse, a partner, and you name it. Such a loss could also be for a dearly beloved pet (a dog, a cat, ...) who brings joy to the family. Love is Love, and it is hard to let go. It is at this point where I say to myself, CRY, SHOUT IT OUT, TAKE A VACCATION, OR DO WHATEVER YOU ENJOY DOING. In all these, remember that you still have other people whose livelihood depends on you.

Life is a struggle, and we are all actors on stage, and one day we shall exit the stage for other to play their assigned roles. I realized that after the death of my younger brother at age 44, my perspective towards life changed. It took me over six years to get over his passing. I remember early on in life, listening to my parents telling stories about some of their ancestors. I enjoyed such stories and would bother my grand mother to tell me more about these relatives, who they were and what happened to them. Little did I know or could imagine the pain she was going through loosing loved ones at tender ages. My grand mother had lost a younger sister, and she had a ritual of always visiting her sister's grave with food. During such visits, she will sing songs in her dialect (African dialect which I do not understand). From the tone of her voice, and her always crying left me with great imaginations of what her sister looked like.

Today is my turn to pass on the baton to the younger generation about who my brother was and how he looked like. I visit his grave at any given time I am opportune to be around the area where he was buried. On such visits, I cry as if it just happened. For some reason, I turned to display more love and affection towards my other siblings. Even though I have always love them, I fear of loosing them. I have cried a river in the hope that my brother traveled and might come back to me some day. Hold on, did I tell you that he has visited me twice in my dreams since he passed on? YES HE DID. The very first time he came to me in a dream, he was dressed shabbily. He had a white, but dirty long sleeve shirt, with sleeves folded. He had a black pair of pant, which were folded at the bottom. He was bear footed, carrying a folded mat. His hair was over grown and unkempt. This is someone who liked wearing white shifts, with very low hair cut. I wept in that dream. However, he turned around and disappeared when I tried to approach him. The second time he came, he was well dressed in white shirt and a black pair of pants. When I looked at him, he began smiling and left. This was the last time I saw him for the last four years.

Today, I empathize with anyone who is grieving because I know the pain of GONE TOO SOON. The question now is, at what age can we stop using the phrase GONE TOO SOON? In my mind, I am thinking of children who die even before age one. I think of teenagers dying in car accidents, with gun shot, women dying during child birth, young boys and girls dying on war fronts, battered women dying for the sake of their children, and others dying from drug abuse. all these people leave others to morn. Reason why I say, IT IS TIME TO MOVE ON. Wipe your tears and move on.