Family Values

No matter what stage of life you find yourself in, whether you are just starting out or with teens or grown kids raising your grands, it is important to keep the focus on family values. These days, we are given lots of different examples of what that means and it can be confusing to know what is right with all of the conflicting information. 

How do you know if you are doing the right thing?

The Bush family has always been a great example of family values. Maybe you don't agree with their politics, but we should all be able to agree that their focus on the family has never faltered. They know and understand the importance of keeping the family strong. 

The other day, I found this quote from Marvin Pierce, Barbara Pierce Bush's father. Like the Bush family, the Pierce's are a close-knit family. Mr. Pierce defined good parenting as providing three things for the children,

A fine education, a good example, and all the love in the world.

Let's be honest with ourselves here, we're not always perfect. I know I'm not. But if we focus on these three things, we can almost be sure to set our kids up for success. 

First, education. For everyone, education is defined differently. Not everyone is going to make it into the finest schools and that's okay. For some, learning a trade makes more sense and will bring more happiness than a law degree. What's important when it comes to education, and we should remind ourselves of this as well as our children, is to do your best and get as much out of it as possible. The more you learn, no matter the subject, the farther you will go. 

Read to your kids every day. And when they get old enough, have them read to you. I like to try to ask my kids how school was every day when I get home. When I don't get an answer beyond, "good," I ask some more questions to encourage the answers to come. Sometimes it's a struggle, but they usually find something fun they enjoyed about school and want to tell me about it. Showing them that we care will help them stay passionate about education, no matter their goals.

The second part is setting a good example. This is hard to do sometimes. It's easier to want to take the low road in certain situations, but we should always make sure we do the right thing in front of our kids. As I said, we're not always perfect and we slip up sometimes. But in front of the kids is the most important. It turns out that they absorb everything, good and bad. Teaching kids how to act in hard situations will help set them up for success later and strengthen the family.

The last part is to show them lots of love. We may not always want to spend our free time with them, I struggle with this part, especially when we're tired or just getting home, but those moments are fleeting and happen less and less as they get older. But to remind them that they are loved as often as we can, reinforces the family values for the kids. 

We get together as an extended family as often as we can, whether it is my wife's family, my sister-in-law's extended family, or the extended stepfamily on my dad's side. Sometimes it is for a holiday or a birthday, other times it doesn't matter. The important thing is that we are together and showing the kids that family is important. 

Staying true to the family is as important as it gets. Without family, friends included, we have no support system. We have to make sure the family stays intact.