Family~Tree

Scattered Seedlings - I knew everyone here. We all have roots but you don't have to stay where you were planted: Family Branch-Out Everywhere. We all have roots but we’re not trees, we never have to remain where we began.

Neighbor had a very old huge, castle like, all Rock house: We snatched the keys to John's Moms' compact Blue Ford Falcon and we'd 1st time drive up/down their long driveway getting screamed at and grounded. Neighbor, Alice was always creeped out about the place; it had a cold/dark dungeon-like wine cellar at the bottom of the kitchen staircase; we never dared go down there.

We lived near a dry wash with lots of rocks and many houses were made with rock & mortar, even the courthouse was all rock. The story-book house had a swing hanging from a branch that I fell off of and broke my arm (I was 8ish) a good thing since the entire 'hood squiggled autographs all over the plaster of paris white cast, and then I showed it off at 'Show & Tell' in class; worth the broken bone, anytime!

A couple of years ago I drove Mom around the old 'hood. And, she just smiled while pointing at the swing-set still hanging from the branch with the long twisted and weather stained rope still hanging from the tree; probably pretty brittle by now.

— Buried in the Backyard of our Memories —

Chosen paths may not be genetically influenced. Brother may be into money; he's in the money Biz. The other brother just feels that having money gives him one less thing to worry about. Professor, Sister, may be into meaningful literature - Brother's into comic books. The Other Sister is a spectacular Chef. Other siblings can't set the microwave instructions.

What influences the choices we make? Sister, Betty Maureen, left home at 16 and never came back. She became an English Professor at Berkeley and a syndicated 'human interest' columnist at the San Francisco Examiner. She authored 65 short stories made into a booklet featuring 'Family.' Oddly, I write very different slants about our family; eyes of the beholder. She mostly rants about how 'awful' our other Sister was. When in L.A., she always stayed at my home. Ah, sibling rivalry.

— Conflict with their kids ~ is there really a favorite child —

Mom had a lot of faces, as do most moms. She and Betty would go to the Bullocks Wilshire Blvd Tea Rooms in their White-Gloved attire along with stylish hats of the day. And with Sister 'Vic' they would saunter through the Farmers market; both big Pizza-Dog fanatics at Costco. She had a thing for all sorts of gold rings and baubles, but detested show-offs. Mom wasn't just mildly superstitious - she would 'knock-wood' just walking down the street and go around the block before she would strut under a ladder - made us a little 'Nutsy.' We were just used to it.

— Sarcasm doesn't fall far from our tree —

Dad, an extremely proud man, with often gruff outbursts, once told one of my girlfriends who was reluctant to go out of the General offices into his factories for fear of getting mussed, "don't put money in your mouth Honey, it isn't clean."

Always pragmatic with his boys: "Boys, in lieu of bail money ~ If I don't have to money-up to get you out of jail by the time you're (18) I will put that up to match you towards 1/2 of a car." He lived up to his word, without even a bit of coaching: Always the subtle character builder!

Twin, Lucky Lar, is into High-Stake Poker. I'm a coupon-clipper! He writes losses, if any, towards 'Entertainment Expense.' The winnings I'm not entirely sure about? Life's choices can add to the differences between siblings. I've never had children, yet my Twin has both children and grandchildren. This has been a life-changer for both of us. Dad would tease that "I'm only shooting blanks!" I have so much regret, never having had children, and that this part of my potential life experience has never been fulfilled.

Since nobody knows for certain at this point in our scientific journey, I am enjoying the fun of musing about the true nature of this human variety show we watch every day. Obviously, I’m not a geneticist. Tons of research, from all aspects of varying opinions, about family constellations exist (positions within a family) and how it affects our personalities and goals. And, yes, there are lots of triggers that family baggage instills in us, even as adults. This is just me taking the layman's spin to this issue; for better or worse.

— I'm just Human ~ In my own Way —

Jay Kantor, Chatsworth, California

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