Everything Is going to be okay

my mother woke from my bedside

my lips blue as the ocean

my skin as white as snow

my breathes shallow like a puddle

two years old and I looked like death

I was in two places at once

in one place I was in my mothers arms

in another I was in the white clouds

Busy cluttered hospital noise

as they test me for what is wrong

meanwhile I am already partially away

It was peaceful

I heard nothing but Music and serenity

" YOUR DAUGHTERS TEMP IS AT 107 Degrees"

" we are losing her!!"

my family members weep as the

doctors and nurses gasp at my tiny pale body the

doctors hands hastily working

inserting 6 inch needles into my skin

I don't flinch or blink because

I am already somewhere else

It is going to be okay

suddenly all I hear is

The gentle breeze

The grim reaper appears near my hospital bedside

He reaches his hand out

I asked him how it was already my time?

only two years since I left my mothers womb

all the doctors covered in their own salty sweat

after hours of working

my state of illness is unwavering

the doctors leave the room and

inform my family that it is time

to say their goodbyes to me

I had barely learned to walk

would I never run in fields of green grass?

Would I Never taste pink bubblegum ice cream?

Would I ever feel the warm orange hugs from my mom again?

Would I never taste the sweetness of friendship?

would my younger sister remember my golden brown eyes?

Would My hands never get to build sand castles?

would I never get to wipe tears off pink rosy cheeks?

The grim reaper didn't know how stubborn I was

Each day I dreamt what my future would be

while the pessimism of the doctors

filled the room

I lie in a coma state

my soul clings to my body

everything is going to be okay

weeks and weeks go by

as the doctors are waiting

and expecting my flatline heartbeat

while a small handful held onto hope

and I flew over my city

I gave my dad comfort as

he cried digging brown ditches

unable to leave work

trying to put bread on our table

It is going to be okay

I whispered in my dads ear

the doctors begin explaining the

"reality" of what would come of me

even if I did survive

the doctor began to list the following

about my best case scenario

after this fatal illness

she will never hold the hands of another

because she will more than likely lose her

fingers due to lack of blood-flow.

she will never stand or walk or run

because she will lose her toes as well

she will never speak, or read or sing

because her temperature fried her brain

she will never be articulate or write

it had been nearly a month

and as I was floating in the clouds

I knew I had to come back

so I flew down

to my body and I awoke

"mommy?" I asked

my mom laughed with tears still in her eyes

the first time I used my voice in weeks

the doctors have no explanation

I was the lone survivor on the children's hospital floor

I had to gather my strength once again

walking with a walker at first

but not for long

eventually I was running in fields of green grass

wiping tears off rosy cheeks

eating pink bubblegum at the zoo

staring at my younger sisters green eyes

with wonder and amazement

buying my dad red mugs on fathers day

knowing perfectly well he didn't even

drink coffee

and now I live by what I held unto

my hope that everything

is going to be okay.

it has been, it will be

and it is.