Dear Adam,

Cuz,

One of my first friend's One of my favorite cousins as a child. One of my dearest protectors now.

I'm finally writing this.

A letter that was originally intended to be a letter of goodbye. A closure of sorts.

It's been almost 6 years since you passed. And I want you to know that I think of you, everythime I hear a "Nelly" song, from "Country Grammer". I always listen all the way through and turn up the radio. For a moment, I dont' rush, I don't let myself feel the stress of life and the weight of the world.

I just cruise. And I imagine you are still there cruising next to me.

You have helped me navigate some serious challenges.

More than once, you helped me save my life.

Litte cuz,

I miss you here on earth. I am, however; grateful to have your presence on the other side.

I've hesitated in writing this letter to you, because I never wanted to say goodbye. You left us so unexpectedly. I remeber so clearly getting the call that you were gone.

I know you already know this, but i have kept your family in my prayers. And I value all the moments that I spent with you and them as a child and also as an adult.

Thought time has taken us all on seperate paths. I will always hold love for you all in my heart.

Thank you cuz for "riding with me" on my journeys.

Thank you for "showing up for me" in times of need.

Thank you for having my back in ways that noone here on earth possibly could.

I wish that life had treated you better. I wish that life had treated all of us better. I want you to know that I believed in you and I believed in your dreams as an artist. I wish that you had, had better life opportunity's.

I hope to keep your memory alive as long as I live.

And part of that is "immortalizing you" with these words.

Now, as I write and others read, you will always be known in this letter from me.

You will be now as a fearless young boy. Capable of constructing treehouses before any of us even thought of learning how to drive.

You will be known for staying up and tending the fire, while all the family slept, to ward away the bears.

You will be known for helping me, from the other side; defeat my "own grizzly bears".

You will be known as someone who could think on his feet and think his way out of unfavorable circumstances.

And, most important, you will be known as someone who ways always kind to me, even when the world had not been kind to you.

This isn't a letter of goodbye.

You haven't truly left my side.

This is a letter of appreciation for having my back and believing in me, even more than I could believe.

For helping my navigating my way out of unfavoable circumstances.

And for protecting me, more than I could even know.

Thank you cuz.

I love you.

Till our next "ride".

Love Always,

Jen