Christmas

During the holidays there are some of us that have a hard time. It might be something as simple as finding a Christmas gift. For others, it can be something greater, such as finding the Christmas spirit when they feel that there is no reason to be happy or celebrate.

Christmas is a time of family, togetherness, and kindness. Sometimes, more often than not, the person that loves Christmas the most will start to find it hard in getting the motivation to put up the tree and deck the halls. For example, I love Christmas or used to at least. You could walk into my home and see Christmas everywhere. Now it takes every bit of energy I have to even try to deck the halls at all.

I'm not sure when exactly this happened. If it wasn't for my daughter, I wouldn't be celebrating this joyous holiday at all. Horrible, I know! Going through recent events and going from having my little family to it just being me and my wonderful daughter has made it to where I find even the smallest act of Christmas Spirit in any way shape or form daunting and extremely exhausting.

Everyone always talks about how this is the season of miracles. Hard to see those miracles, no matter how small, when you can't seem to find any kind of future in sight. This season can bring out either the best or the worst in people, depending on who you are. Some more than others, of course!

This world is crazy enough with the pandemic to not have any hope for a good Christmas. Maybe this will reach someone who feels the same. I know that it's hard and I know that you might feel that there is no hope for a Merry Christmas, but I'm here to tell you that no matter how little spirit you have at the moment, there is hope for this season to turn around.

This Christmas I have dreaded for more than one reason. One main reason is not having a way to provide anything for my daughter this Christmas. Thankfully, I have found a way and am truly grateful for those in my life that have made it possible for me to have something to unwrap on Christmas Day!! It might not be brand new in a box, but its better than waking up knowing that she wouldn't have anything from me at all. Maybe one day I will be able to provide her with the things that she wants once again.

Hope of a future where I can provide her with the things that she asks Santa Claus for is close to my heart. This year has been a challenge. So now I will ask Santa for something myself.

Dear Santa,

I have been asked what I want for Christmas many times. Growing up I would ask for unreasonable things. This year what I want for Christmas is something that I want more than anything. If you could find the time for a Christmas miracle of a job for me and a home of our own for my tiny family I would be forever grateful!! Waking up everyday knowing that I am a burden on our extended family doesn't sit well with me. Even with all of the bad luck I have seemed to have lately, I figured it couldn't hurt to ask for this. I'm not asking for true love for Christmas because I know true love is rare and extremely hard to find. I know, I have tried! I might not have much, but I'm thankful for what I do have. Maybe this will reach you during this busy season. It might be a bit much to ask for. In the hope that my Christmas Wish reaches you in time. I have always tried to make this season the happiest. This year it's a enormous challenge!

Merry Christmas!

Whatever you do, don't give up hope that a Christmas Miracle can make it your way. My Christmas wish might not ever be granted, but it takes courage to even attempt to reach out to someone that most in this world do not believe in. I have always been a firm believer and am trying to continue to be, even in these hard times! Everything will work out if you believe!!