Childhood dreams

Like any little kid, I always thought about what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wanted, so badly, to be a teacher. I would ask my mom to print off worksheets for my "class," and I would happily play in my room for hours, being the teacher of an imaginary classroom. That dream never died; I never changed my mind until I got to high school.

I was discussing with my counselor which electives to take and, ultimately, what would help me the most in college for my dream career to be a teacher. I would bring home numerous different pamphlets with different specializations regarding children. Over and over again, my dad would say, "you don't want to be a teacher; you won't make any money" (if you haven't read my previous posts, my dad is all about money). Being told that if I were to become a teacher, I would be poor and unable to afford my life, I felt hopeless. I did not have the support I needed, and reluctantly I changed my mind. My second option was to go to school for criminal justice. Maybe one day become a detective. In my first year in college, I had a professor tell everyone our dreams would never come true. I would work my entire life and never become a detective. The cycle continues.

Two years through my college experience and I dropped out. I changed my major again, business management, and realized it did not bring me the same joy that I get when I think about teaching. Nothing did. So I quit. Instead of following my childhood dream, I let my dad persuade me into something else that ultimately made me fail.

Now, instead of working my dream job, I work a dead-end 9-5:30 job. I am miserable every single day, and I dread going to work. I dread being at work. I am not the most productive that I know I can be. I feel stuck and ashamed that I am not farther in my career journey than most my age. My time would be better spent on my children or educating other children as I have always wanted.

My oldest son wants to be in the army. He also wants to be a fireman and a police officer. I encourage him to learn more about those occupations, and we discuss ways he can make them his reality.

I don't think that people's minds change much regarding their dream jobs. I believe that situations in a person's life change their mind. In my case, it was my dad and my professor. People were supposed to help me succeed, which held me back. I refer to my parents a lot in my parenting journey. For one reason, I do not want to parent my children the way they parented me. My parents did not do their best; they did what they needed to survive. They did what they grew up thinking was normal. It is not normal to tear your children down. It's your job as a parent to guide your children in their life; they are people with their own beliefs and values. Yes, you can teach them and offer advice. But the choice is theirs and theirs alone. You can be their support when they need it, or you can, like my parents, tell them what they are doing is wrong, and they will not amount to anything.

Always choose to be their support. The world is scary enough on your own, don't make your children feel alone, too.