Cheers

Mom and “Dick” finally went to bed. Bobbie and I were relived. She hated to see us bonding so we spent a lot of time apart so as not to raise her suspicion of an alliance. She was right to be suspicious because there was definitely an alliance. We were just more adept at hiding our conspiring. I exited my room and turned on the hall light. It was all the glow I needed to carry out the mission. I pressed my back up against the wall and stood in 2nd position. Toes pointed out at my sides carefully avoiding the floor creeks. Expertly navigating the floor I had been treading across for all of my 14 years. I reached my hand into Bobby’s bedroom. He slipped a cool cylinder into my hand. I placed it into my hoodie pouch I reached in again for the second can. Pepsi. Bobby’s job was to procure Dick’s precious Pepsi. He completed the mission. Now it was my turn. Slowly and carefully I slid my feet along the wall. Nary a squeak could be heard. Success! The next hurdle stood before me. I had to make a silent catlike leap from where I stood in living room to the kitchen. This bit of floor was the most compromised. It was filled with noisy floor boards. No matter where you would step the floor would groan. These weren’t the squeaks of a typical loose floor board. The sounds that emanated from this portion of floor were deep, low and long. Something akin to the floor board sounds they amplify in horror films for added suspense. This was real life for me. The suspense was thick in the air. If my foot touched the floor even a half inch too soon the house would groan right above my mothers sleeping head. I couldn’t risk rousing her. I had to make the leap. No more hesitation. I propelled myself forward. Perfect landing. I would have scored a 10 if anyone was there to see it. I pulled the pilfered cans from my pocket and placed them on the counter. I used my sleeve to muffle the sound of me opening the cans. Slowly i released the tab. The sound of air escaping the can as quite as it was sounded like a foghorn as it sliced through the silence of the kitchen. I brought the can to my lips and chugged. Once I was a quarter of the was finished I opened the other can with the same precision and chugged that one a quarter of the way as well. I felt an enormous belch developing in my stomach. The desire to let it out and wake the whole house was overwhelming. I smirked at myself and stifled it down. I must complete the mission. I hoisted myself up on the counter in expert fashion. I gripped the top of the fridge to steady myself. Standing on the counter I had to lean over the fridge. I gently pushed the decorative pitcher blocking the cupboard doors. I was careful not to push it too far and break it blowing my cover in the process. With a delicate tug I opened the cupboard door. Almost there. I’m fairly sure I heard the sounds of 100 angels singing as a divine light shone down on the prize, whisky. Quickly in swiped the whisky, contorted my body in some unnamed yoga pose and topped off our Pepsi’s. Back in the cupboard the whisky went. I didn’t worry about topping it off. Mom would blame Dick and Dick would blame mom and neither would mention it because they both held value in hiding their perspective drinking problems. This neurosis proved beneficial to Bobby and I time and again. The journey back to the bedrooms was even more delicate than the way to the kitchen. Performing ninja moves while holding not one but two open intoxicants would be a test of my skills. I took a big gulp off the top of each to help prevent spills. I felt the warmth of the whisky coat my throat. The taste was terrible but I liked the feeling. Liquid courage. One giant leap and I was in the hall again. I followed my footsteps from before and made my way into Bobby’s room. Rather than stepping onto the floor I climbed up the side of the bed. We sat side by side against the wall. I passed him his drink. We clinked cans and and swallowed the brown liquid down. He pressed play on the vcr and Pink Floyd came on.

“Mama's gonna make all of your nightmares come true

Mama's gonna put all of her fears into you

Mama's gonna keep you right here under her wing

She won't let you fly but she might let you sing

Mama's gonna keep baby cosy and warm”

The whiskey kept me cozy warm. It definitely wasn’t my mother.