Criss, cross, applesauce

I stood in the warm yellow kitchen wearing my Cinderella nightgown, looking at the harvest gold refrigerator in front of me. The door was ajar. My skin was covered in goosebumps. It was cool in front of the fridge in just my jammies but the anticipation strumming at my anxiety was the real culprit. Bobby was hunched down rifling through the shelves. “Got it!” He exclaimed and hid his hands behind his back concealing whatever it was that he “got”. “Eyes closed!” He demanded. I squeezed my eyes tight. “Ready?” He asked. He was standing behind me then. I nodded my blond head vigorously. “Kriss cross” he made and X across my back with his finger. “Remember if you shiver I get to punch you.” He said this with the authority only an older sibling can muster. He just wanted permission to punch me. “Just do it Bobby!” I whined impatiently. I was testing my resolve. I wanted to be tougher than him. Though I was only seven I refused to shiver. This was basically a battle of dominance and I would prevail. “Applesauce” he continued trailing his fingers gently down my back. It definitely tickled but I would not break. I sucked in a breath fully aware of what was next. “Spiders crawling up your back” he said while tickling my back in an upward direction. This was torture. He knew my weakness. Spiders were the worst. He intentionally took longer with this step. I wouldn’t let him have this win. I couldn’t. “Cool breeze” he blew on my neck. I felt the hairs on my neck stand on end but I wouldn’t break. “Tight squeeze” he squeezed my sides and I almost doubled over. It tickled so much! One final step. It was an easy one. “Crack and egg on your head” he was laughing as he said it. Then he hit the top of my head. Suddenly there was something dripping down. I put my hands to my head. It was slimy. He cracked a real egg on my head! I busted out laughing and Bobbie did the same. The egg slipped off of my head and landed on the kitchen floor with a splat. I laughed harder. Moms clean floor was covered in raw egg. I was covered in raw egg. It was absurd and hilarious. Bobby punched me in the arm. “You lose!” It really smarted but I just laughed harder. Mom came into the room. There shouldn’t be that much laughter. Her spidery senses must have been alerted to our joy. There should be no joy in the house...according to mom. “What the fuck are you doing?!?” She shrieked. Somehow her screaming became the funniest thing of all. Bobby and I laughed harder unable to answer. Joanie!?! What the fuck is all over you.!?!? I looked at her stupidly egg literally on my face. “Egg.” I replied and laughed some more. Mom started smacking us then indiscriminately. I don’t know who got it first or worst. I didn’t care because getting slapped was funny too because mom had egg on her from Hitting me. I bobbed and weaved, she slapped and we laughed. I may have gotten and egg cracked on my head and punched in the arm but I still won that day.