Ceremony

Years ago, I heard, “Let’s not stand on ceremony!” I wasn’t sure what it meant. Today, I have a better idea, but I still question. Is it not holding strictly to protocol or formalities? Yes. Today, I will not be a “Culture cop”.

Water

Yesterday at the water ceremony, we sang the Asema song after smudging and before giving out the asema or having the talking circle. When our elder apologized, I said it was okay. We can do it differently this time. We put our asema out. The song tells us we start the ceremony with asema.

The regular women who facilitate the ceremony weren’t there and my sister would talk about culture cops with a frown, so I never wanted to be one, nor did I want to judge others for sticking to protocol. I choose not to lead the ceremony if I don’t have to because of that.

We had a good time as my granddaughter brought her children this week. And even though it was chilly out, we all had a good time! I told the grandgirls why we started with asema.

Wedding

Because I have been married three times, and have attended many marriage ceremonies, I am familiar with weddings. Being married in the Native American culture has different protocols as do religions.

I was married in the Catholic church first and was supposed to have an annulment to be remarried in the Catholic church. The process was so long and because he was the father of my children, I thought I would skip the annulment and when remarrying, be married outside the Catholic church.

That has worked for me. My second marriage was in a Lutheran church and my third marriage was in a Christian church, where there was a smudge before the ceremony.

Each wedding has had bits of protocol and bits of family and friends ways. I am hoping that my third wedding will be my last and at age 70, I’m guessing there is a very good chance it will be. My husband and I both had two previous weddings prior and they were both nice and too much.

Participating in ceremonies over the years is always special, whether it is for a baptism, confirmation, funeral, or culture ceremony — moon ceremony, sweat lodge, wiping of tears, cedar ceremony, pipe ceremony, and others.

Ceremony and Cultural Ceremony

Ceremony, whether here or there

is always full of respect when I share

what it is and what happens when

we come together to get something done

I believe in marriage and some don’t then

there is a divorce and I have had two and won

the children to my custody in one

decisions about belongings in another when

it was undecided about the outcome.

~

The cultural ceremony was limited for many years

It wasn’t until I was twenty-four that I could participate

as religious freedom wasn’t granted until 1978,

My first smudge was with hippies and I learned from him

the facilitator said, “It cleans your aura man”

as he demonstrated the smudge. I had tears

as I grew up knowing what it was mostly about

I didn’t know then what an aura was at 12, but I did shout

loudly when our people got the freedom to practice

our ways and to this day, more and more is coming back

and rightfully so. Thankfully there is no lack

of elders that could show the way, and some were

worried that there would be those who would attack us.

~

Now some 44 years later, it appears to be okay

many have stayed with their Christian way

and many have gone back to traditional days

when the ceremony was a regular part of each day.

Graduation

Graduation happens more

right now than ever before

Preschool, elementary

Junior high, high school

~

Then there is college, two and

four, and there is the masters

and doctorates and still more

there are journeymen

~

And then so many others

Many in my family

have given it their best try

for the diploma.

~~~~

First published by Mercury Press on medium.com