Blood

I always wanted to have a part of you.. I always wanted to be a part of you.. But deep down I always knew I had You in me.. We didn’t get enough time, time was never on your side.. You chose a life that I wasn’t ever supposed to know about.. and Mom knew she had to keep me away from it, or was it you she was keeping me away from...

In 1985 Mom had your love child, she knew what she was doing, but you didn’t want to stop what you were doing.. The money meant more to you than your blood.. The LIFE was more important for you back then, not MY life.. The money was more important to you than your own blood.. The streets were more respected than your blood.. It wasn’t until I was older and asked questions to understand.. But did I ever understand, did I ever want to know what you did, what was so much more important than me.. So because of that life you could never let go of, could never break free from, could never fight off.. you never got the chance to get to know your own blood, see your own blood, or even talk to your blood..

12-25-2003 marks the day you took your last breath.. the day that changed my outlook on my LIFE. I was 18. I was a HS graduate. I was lost. I was wanting more and never knew the direction I needed to go because my connection was blurry.. Who was this man that shared my blood.. who am I now that he is gone.. That day, that 25th day of December, 2003 will forever be etched into memory.. The same year HS ended, the same year 18 years of age finally arrives.. All life had changed that year, and life would never be the same.. You would never to get to know your blood, never get to see the woman she has become, or who she will be, bust she is your blood.. but who is she really... does she know who she is.. it was time to find out, and the time had come to know who Rico Riley was...

In 2010 your energy was needed, your guidance was sought but you were not able to be there.. you were never able to be there.. questions and f who you really were had been answered. A Drug Dealer. A Pimp. You were the one whom I met n so many had no understanding as to why I was drawn to this era of men... I wasn’t taught that you were a bad man... That you used women for money or sold drugs to them, I wasn’t taught that... but who then, if not you? I always knew you were not able to be the one to run to or reach out for, but Being a part of you was needed.. feeling a connection was needed.. Change was needed and it needed to be permanent.. Told mom that changing my Last name to yours (which it should have been in the first place) would give that lost connection some feels, she never understood that and yet She gracefully disagreed over and over again until it was apparent that her reasoning this last name was to never be changed was good enough. But really it wasn’t.. Body Art was the last resort.. Blood for Blood.. pain for pain.. and change was what I sought so I made you a part of me forever...

Riley Blood Will Forever Run Deep, is what it reads.. In the shape of a heart, on my left shoulder. I always knew I wanted to have a part of him, but getting his last name tattooed on me made me feel closer to him than it did before I got it.. it’s a daily reminder and visual that my father’s blood is in me, even if we don’t share anything else other that blood itself ❤️ It runs deep..