Being a Dad... on purpose

The word "father" carries with it a multitude of emotions and weight for me.

The father with whom I share a genetic link was an addict. He was absent most of the time. He died while I was in college. And yet, there is no denying my eternal connection to him. I am in many ways a spitting image of his likeness. And I think I share many of his more positive attributes that have been told to me by those who knew and loved him in ways I was never able to.

And then, there is the father I call "Dad." He officially joined our family when I was only seven years old. If I am honest with myself, there were many times over many years that I did not feel as warmly towards him as I do now. But age and perspective change the relationship between a parent and child. First comes a realization of your own faults as the child. Then comes an appreciation and respect for the job they did keeping you alive and getting you to adulthood. And finally, if you are lucky, comes a genuine friendship.

There have been other "fathers" in my life. Spiritual fathers who shepherded me at a young age and into adulthood. Professors from both my undergraduate and graduate studies. And a ministry mentor that I worked with for two years, but have maintained the most precious friendship with ever since.

Each of these "fathers" in my life helped lay the groundwork for who I would one day become as a father. I have had the opportunity to shepherd many teenagers over the last 15 years, but it was in 2019 that I was finally blessed with a child of my own. And that is where the real work of being a dad finally became a reality.

So now, just days away from the arrival of daughter number two, I am taking the opportunity to process the lessons, good and bad, that I have learned about DAD-ding and putting my thoughts on (digital) paper. I am no expert. I fail everyday at this parenting thing. But my hope is that maybe some of you can find yourself in these stories and lessons. Perhaps you can take a nugget of wisdom and apply it to your families.

I am a dad. And I want to be a dad on purpose. I want to choose to be a dad every single day, because there are many out there who choose not to. And I want to be a dad who sets a vision for my children and helps them to find their purpose in life.

So I hope you will check this space out from time to time to learn and grow WITH me. It's the least we can do for our children.