An Open Letter to the Toughest Women I know

An open letter to the toughest women I am lucky enough to have in my circle.

Dear tough women I am blessed to have in my life,

I never told you...

Mom, I am in awe of how resilient you are. When dad had cancer, you took care of him at home right up until the day before he passed, tending to his needs because it was his wish to remain at home for as long as possible. After he passed, you started over and found love again.

Sister L, You’re one of the most selfless women I know. You always put others before yourself, including your son. You’ve brought him up all by yourself, and have been his mom and dad since day one. Now he’s well on his way to a Master’s Degree, and no doubt your sacrifices over the years have contributed to the successful man he is becoming.

Sister T, I am inspired by how courageous you’ve been in raising your children after your husband passed away suddenly. It left a huge hole in your family. You've been working hard day after day since to fill that hole.

Sister J, You just might be the most forgiving person I know, and I know it’s not always easy. I think because you have such a beautiful sense of family, you are able to show others what it means to give someone another chance. Thank you for the times you’ve forgiven me.

Daughter C, You are so passionate in the pursuit of your dreams and goals. Your ability to stay focused, work diligently, and conduct yourself with grace under pressure leaves me in awe. I am so proud of you.

Daughter A, I marvel at how accepting you are. You show me constantly that everyone is worthy of acceptance and love because that’s how you live your life. If everyone were more like you, the world would be a beautiful place. I am so proud of you.

Nannie C, You were always so steady, even when I was too young to understand what it meant to live life that way. You were widowed early and the way you raised your children still sets the example for all of us. You were the backbone of this family. My dad was my best friend, my confidant, and someone I could always trust to be there for me, no matter how badly I messed up. And to this day when I smell freshly baked tea biscuits it brings me back to my childhood, sitting in your kitchen and waiting for fresh-out-of-the-oven bites of heaven with butter. Miss you, Nannie C.

Grammie L, You lived your life being kind to others. You raised many children with very little, and though you had your husband, you were the one everyone looked up to and relied on. My mom is the kindest woman I know and it’s no wonder, she had you to show her the way.

Cousin T, You are the brave one. Just like me you got pregnant at 17. My parents accepted and supported me (which was and always will be everything to me). Your parents gave you a choice, carry out your pregnancy in secrecy and give your baby up, or they would disown you. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. I want to be now, if you’ll let me. I am proud of your achievements and for establishing a great career helping others.

Cousin J, You’re the most trustworthy woman I know. You’re more like a sister to me than a cousin. You have come to know all my secrets. If I have any from you now, it’s simply because I haven’t had a chance to tell you yet. I think everyone needs that one person in their life they can trust and know it won’t come back on them.

BF D, You’re thoughtful and creative. You pay attention to me and know what makes me happy. You’ve given me Edgar Allan Poe gifts you’ve bought and made. You always make me laugh, even when I am having a tough go. We have some much in common, when we get together time has a way of disappearing mysteriously, oh so mysteriously.

BF MA, You’re a role model. You’ve endured more heartache than any one person should have to in a lifetime, including the loss of your brother. Yet you not only show up for others you are always present. You live your life being your authentic self, and show others it’s okay to show emotions, and to feel all the feels. You have been a part of my life since I received your first letter from Australia dated June 6th 1989, and have become a sister and a best friend. I can’t imagine my life without you. Thanks for loving me, even when I’m a wreck.

BF MK, You’re easily the strongest person I know. You’ve had your health issues over the years, including a diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis. You’ve dedicated yourself to YOU. You take care of your health by staying active, working out, running, cycling, and hiking. You’ve taken back your life. Physically, you’re the toughest woman I know. I’ll never mess with you!

BF C&K, You two are loyal to me. A gal couldn’t ask for better “I’ve gotchu” friends. I can tell you anything! You don’t judge, and are always supportive. The advice you give helps guide me, and ground me.

BF K, You’re one of the most supportive people I know. You’ve always been my biggest cheering section and you’re always in my corner. You’re a perfect example of a woman who holds another woman up, and fixes her crown when she doesn’t know it needs fixing. Even if you’re in pain, you find ways to make others laugh and feel good.

Thank you to the wonderful women I am fortunate enough to call my family and friends! I love you, toughness and all.

To the women in my life I have not mentioned, I want you to know, I think you’re all tough too. You all play an integral role in shaping who I am. I see you. I hear you.

An open letter to the toughest woman I will one day know, my future self.

Dear toughest woman I will one day know,

I know one truth about me, I am a fighter. From here on out, it’s time I take the best pieces of the toughest women I know to become the toughest, best possible version of myself. I aspire to be more resilient, selfless, courageous, forgiving, passionate, accepting, steady, kind, brave, trustworthy, thoughtful and creative. I will be a role model who is strong, loyal, and supportive.