Abandonment Issues During Pregnancy!

Pregnancy is a huge life change for the mother and the father’s baby! The simple big fact that you are bringing a whole new person to the world is a monumental undertaking. Life-changing events can bring about anxiety, stress, and in some cases, abandonment issues and etc.

Apart from the physical changes that happen to the body during this time, there are adjustments you have to deal with with regard to the work situation, home arrangements, and finances. It’s unavoidable to have mixed feelings about the pregnancy, especially for new parents. It might even strain the relationship between two partners. This is even more prominent in couples in which one or both partners have some form of emotional trauma.

(Especially when my now ex-husband chose his friends over me and our daughter during my whole 2 trimesters) I can feel the pain all over again and it was always was one of my biggest fears.

What is trauma for a pregnant woman?

A trauma is an intense experience that has deep-seated long-term effects on a person’s quality of life and overall wellness. It can come in different forms; emotional trauma, in particular, results from past or current experiences that cause us to feel unsafe and vulnerable. Feelings of powerlessness, fear, and anxiety are just some ways that describe emotional trauma. These are similar to feelings that people with abandonment issues have. Some physical symptoms could even stem from this type of experience, such as chronic insomnia, nightmares, and other health conditions.

(Which I felt even more stressed out during my 2 trimesters because on how badly my ex-husband wasn’t around me during those times and how many times he chose his friends over us the family he always said he wanted)!

These are experts who did studies on this and this is what they concluded to?!

According to experts in the field, the attachment with your primary caregiver determines the type of relationship you are able to form with others, and how you react to intimacy. If your primary responded to your cries as a baby and understood your emotional and physical needs, your attachment is secure. This begets self-confidence, trust, optimism, ability to manage conflict and a healthy response to intimacy.

If your caregiver failed to consistently respond to your needs, it likely led to confusion and your emotional communication. People with abandonment issues find it hard to understand their own feelings and those of others. It’s also difficult for them to create relationships. If they are in one, they might be too clingy, fearful, and anxious and the list goes on.

What are abandonment issues look for women?

A fear of abandonment stems from anxiety that people you value or are close to will leave you. This could come from early experiences of loss, neglect, or rejection. People with such trauma can have a hard time fostering healthy relationships. For a pregnant woman with abandonment issues, they may fear that their partner will leave her. This could even push them to ruin their relationships by responding in an anxious/negative way.

(Let’s not forget how much stress you as a person can put on yourself and it can cause a lot of problems not only for you anymore but your baby as well! I know because I have been there and it’s not pleasant feeling ever and there were times I thought that I’ll end up having a misscarage at some point of how badly I was stressing out. Please don’t do that? NEVER! )

If you think your having any of these please seek help from a family member or a professional?

What are the signs of fear of abandonment?

Anxiety, depression

Difficulty trusting others

Getting into relationships too fast

Codependency

Trouble keeping healthy relationships

Avoiding circumstances where they can be rejected or separated from people they value

Staying in a toxic relationship

Difficulty in controlling emotions and distressing feelings

Panic at the thought of losing important peopl.

Abandonment issues in pregnancy: How can I cope? (Wish I had this when I was going though my pregnancy but I’m glad that I had a friend who was there for me whenever she was able to be there?)

Support is crucial during this time. Women who receive support from her partner during pregnancy feel happier and less stressed. As a bonus, lower stress benefits the baby too.

Some ways to show support:

Accompany her to OBGYN visits

Contribute to decision-making regarding baby and the pregnancy

Attend childbirth classes

Some forms of emotional support include:

Encourage and reassure

Ask how you can help

Be affectionate: hold hands and hug her

Help implement lifestyle changes: cut down on caffeine and alcohol, eat healthy foods

Encourage her to rest

Communicate with partners about relationship issues like the lack of interest in sex

Couples therapy can help partners work through their fears together, teach them to interact with each other better, help them communicate and reconnect if they are emotionally distant.

Key Takeaway

Abandonment issues during pregnancy can create problems between partners and people close to you. These usually stem from traumatic experiences or the type of attachment you formed with your own parents. People suffering from fear of abandonment experience anxiety that a person important to them will leave them. Partners can show and offer support in different ways to allay such fears.