A Woman whom I call Mother.

Written by Aria Isabella Ramey

If one were to look through the teeny tiny nooks and crannies that outline my mind and fuel my dreams, she can be found. A woman of justice, a woman of honor, a woman whom I call mother. There in the corner, overlapping those pockets, I find her mother; My mother’s teacher. A woman of dignity, a woman of truth, a woman whom I call grandmother. I find wisdom filled with peace and joy that she has passed to my mother. The kind of peace and joy that I hope to pass to my children one day. My mother is the matching piece within my puzzle. She fills me up, in and out, going above and beyond to keep me from ever experiencing emptiness. Through her words, I find a way out of the darkness, and when the sun refuses to go down, she provides a tunnel for me to rest in, to protect me from the rays. I find everlasting peace with my mother. Though I have had eyes since the day I was brought into this world, she has taught me to see. Though I have ears, she has taught me to hear, though I have a sense of touch, she has helped me to feel, though I have a sense of smell, she has helped me sniff out opportunities. Though I can taste, she helps me with mine (which is especially needed given my sense of fashion.) But most importantly, she has taught me not only how to love, but has shown me what love is. Throughout my years, my mom has become more than a mother to me. She has become a friend, a guide, a counselor, my number 1 fan, and the kind of woman I hope to become one day.

Ever since I was a little girl, I remember my mom bringing me to the side every time I had done something wrong. I remember I used to beg and ask for forgiveness, going on and on about how sorry I was, no matter how big or small the issue was at hand. I remember her words as clear as day. “Don’t be sorry, be better.” I never understood why she said that or what kind of impact those words would have on me as I journeyed through life. Those words in a way haunted me because I could never figure it out. They would sink back into my head and come back up whenever I found myself apologizing or pleading. Oftentimes, I found myself flooded with guilt and remorse. I didn’t know how to move on from my past or the wrong that I had done or been a victim of. I felt trapped and discouraged. However, each time I got down, I would remember my mother‘s words. I would say them to myself though I still did not understand it’s powers.

See words have so much power within them, and sometimes we don’t know just how powerful they are until a situation in our lives proves it. For me, having to move across the country by myself for the first time helped me to understand my mother’s words. Whether it was me having to fly by myself or fall and get back up. I remember flying from NYC to California a couple of years back. I was so excited to go back to school when it came to my attention that my debit card expired. I had forgotten to update it, I couldn’t pay for an Uber. No uber meant I could not make it back. My mom kept sending me Gift Cards to get a ride, but every time I tried to buy a ride, the prices would go up. I felt defeated.I had failed myself. I was a young girl in a different state all alone in the middle of the night. There were creepy men and it was cold. I had school the next day. I had regretted not keeping up with my card and not preparing for my departure. Thoughts of bad things started piling my mind, I blamed myself. Soon, I began to cry until I remembered my mom's words. Right then and there, I learned that my mother taught me those words to help me get out of the black hole that I found myself in and was unfortunately always digging myself in as well. I learned that bad things happen, we all do wrong, and sometimes people will do wrong things to us, but we can’t spend our lives saying sorry and regretting the past.

When times get tough, we have two options. We can either spend our time dabbling in regret, thinking of what we could have done, apologizing and pleading, which gets you nowhere because you’ll only be bound to do the offense again. Or we can hold our chin up, accept what happened, and change it. We can decide how we will move forward, because just as I couldn’t change that I didn’t update my card, we can’t change the past, but we can change how we view it and what we do with what happened. We can change how we respond in a situation, we can even change the way we look and perceive a situation. Instead of looking at how bad the situation was and feeling guilty, we can look at why it happened, because everything happens for a reason.

I could never thank my mom enough for the lessons she‘s taught me. My mother has greatly inspired me, she has shaped me. Her words have been significant lessons that have influenced and shaped my life, not only in my youth, but as I continue to grow as an adult. I cannot thank my grandmother enough for bringing my mother up as she did and I cannot thank my mother enough for being the woman she is. I hope I make her proud. And I know I will make a fine woman one day, because I am the daughter of a wonderful woman whom I call mother.