6 ways to deal with grief or loss

Grief: A Personal Journey of Healing and Coping

When it comes to discussing grief, I feel compelled to share my perspective. Before experiencing the loss of my own mother, I never truly understood the depth of someone's pain. My mother was my best friend, my rock, and losing her shattered my world. Until that moment, I sympathized with others' losses, but it wasn't until I walked in their shoes that I grasped the true weight of grief.

It has been seven years and a few months since my mother passed away, and I can't claim to have completely healed or moved on. However, the intensity of my grief has lessened over time. I no longer cry as frequently as I did in the beginning. Nowadays, when someone mentions my mother's name or shares a memory of her, I catch myself smiling. It's not because I'm happy or have fully accepted her death; it's simply a reflection of the joy she brought into my life. These small moments of solace remind me that she once existed, and for that, I'm grateful.

While I acknowledge that my experience with grief may be unique, I also understand that there are readers who are currently navigating their own paths of loss. Whether it's a heartbreak, the death of a loved one, or the loss of a cherished pet, it's crucial to find healthy ways to cope and avoid becoming trapped in a dark void. Allow me to share some insights that have helped me along my journey.

Firstly, it's important to acknowledge your pain. Grief unfolds in various stages, from shock and denial to acceptance. Until you acknowledge the depth of your pain and give yourself permission to feel it, you won't be able to begin the process of healing. Understand that it's okay to withdraw from social interaction, to turn off your phone, or to skip meals. Grant yourself the space to experience and process your emotions.

Furthermore, grief can trigger unexpected and diverse emotions. Each person copes differently, finding solace in unique activities or behaviors. For me, riding a motorcycle provided a temporary respite from the pain. It allowed me to focus solely on the road ahead, freeing my mind from grief's grip. Others may seek distraction in different ways, such as engaging in sexual encounters or distancing themselves from loved ones. Recognize that these coping mechanisms are personal and may not align with societal expectations.

Moreover, your grieving process is entirely your own. Don't compare yourself to others or conform to society's prescribed notions of how to grieve. I, for example, turned to food for comfort and gained weight after my mother's passing. It was my way of seeking solace in familiar habits. Eventually, you will reach a turning point, a moment where you decide that enough is enough and you can't continue living in anguish. But until then, be patient with yourself and accept that your journey is unique.

Seeking support from those closest to you is essential. Reach out to friends, family, or even professional counselors who can provide a listening ear and guidance. During my darkest moments, I confided in a neutral counselor who had experienced his own grief. He offered a safe space for me to express my most vulnerable thoughts and emotions without judgment. Remember, asking for help is not a sign of weakness but an act of self-care.

Lastly, supporting yourself physically can greatly impact your emotional well-being. Engage in activities that nourish your body and mind. For me, regular exercise played a significant role in my healing process. It provided a boost of endorphins and a sense of accomplishment. Find what works for you, whether it's exercising, practicing mindfulness, pursuing a hobby, or spending time in nature. Taking care of your physical self can contribute to your emotional well-being.

In conclusion, grief is a deeply personal journey. It's a complex process that can only be truly understood by those who have experienced it firsthand. While there is no formula for navigating grief, there are healthier ways to approach and cope with the emotions that arise. Acknowledge your pain, accept the diverse range of emotions that grief can trigger, recognize the uniqueness of your grieving process, seek support from loved ones, and support yourself physically. By embracing these principles, you may find solace and gradually heal, moving towards a brighter future while cherishing the memory of your loved ones