5 Coaching Lessons from Ted Lasso

Ted Lasso is a man with more optimism than his body can handle. On my best days, I find myself emulating only a fraction of his “can-do” attitude. He takes on interpersonal conflict with high emotional intelligence, battling egos, negative mindsets, and panic-stricken depression.

Yet, even the darkest parts of Ted Lasso shine brightly in a weary world.

Jason Sudeikis’ character on Apple TV+ is hopeful and respectable in the locker room and the family room. He is a mark of the values and traits strong men and fathers could perpetuate.

Here are five lessons from Coach Lasso for fathers everywhere.

1) Nurture Reading

Ted Lasso buys books for his players with messages that resonate with their unique roles. For his rough-edged team captain, Roy Kent, he stashes “A Wrinkle in Time” into his locker, which Roy eventually reads and discovers the courageous leader hidden underneath his thick scales.

Finding the right book and reading it with your child begins an intrinsic process of growth. I started reading the Beatrix Potter stories with my daughter at a young age. They have helped her relate to complex societal problems in a simplistic way. Squirrel Nutkin quickly became her favorite childhood character (and dance pose).

2) Teach Accountability

Not holding yourself accountable to a standard is a form of immaturity. In Ted Lasso, we see the young Jamie Tartt, a “golden-footed” soccer all-star, show his immaturity through egotism and selfishness. He takes no responsibility for his actions until Ted Lasso publicly holds him accountable in front of his peers for skipping practice.

Every family should have a standard of excellence to measure at the end of each day. How generous were you with your time? Did you communicate effectively? Were you transparent with your words and actions? How many times did you lose control?

Pick a standard that each family member can practically achieve and coach them on holding themselves to that standard. Once a week, during dinner maybe, ask your family to grade themselves on their standard using examples.

3) Be Honest in the Small Things

Coach Lasso is honest in the minor things, like his dislike for British tea. Since he is honest in the small things, you can trust that he will be honest with the bigger things.

Roy Kent and Jamie Tartt are two players who don’t get along, destroying the team’s dynamic. Lasso has them share what they admire about each other as well as what they dislike. This honesty is the first step toward collaboration.

4) Positive Reinforcement

Lasso discovers that his all-star player, Jamie Tartt, thrives on positive reinforcement. So Lasso uses this technique mixed with a little bit of firm discipline throughout the season to build his confidence and break his ego. Tartt has a massive character transformation by the end of the season.

Positive reinforcement may not give you the immediate result, but it is always worth pursuing in the long run for your kids. So often, our kids can get on our nerves. We may get the urge to vent our frustrations openly when they refuse to go to sleep, push their food away from the table, or ask you for more screen time.

But fight the urge to react negatively and instead reinforce positively.

Tell them how proud you are that they haven’t watched any TV today or that they ate a full plate of vegetables. Now, spend the 5 minutes you would have spent arguing with them and instead play with them.

5) Be Observant

Please pay attention to how your kids interact with each other, their friends, and their families. Don’t jump in immediately to correct something they are doing wrong, but use the time to observe and assess their hidden needs. Lasso is a master at this.

I recently watched my seven-year-old argue with her friend about dress-up. They both started getting snippy with each other, and I wanted to say something to keep the peace. Instead, I let them feel the weight of friendship and figure it out on their own.

When emotions get too crazy to control, you can step in and set things right, but not before. Otherwise, you risk having your kids rely on you to fix their emotional problems all of the time.

Be observant enough to understand when the situation calls for your assistance and wise enough to know when to leave things alone.