2: Fountain of Youth

Boomers. I guess this is what they are called. Recent research now has them broken down into Boomers I and Boomers II (a/k/a Generation Jones) which honestly, I know nothing about. My parents fall within the Boomers II category. Side note: I feel uncomfortable putting people into categories. Regardless, as a child of the 70's, I'm aware of some of the limiting beliefs of that generation...I mean, they raised me. They raised a lot of us. They also kinda raised themselves to some degree because, well, in the midwest, there are just certain things you don't talk about. Having sex is definitely one of them.

Take that point of view and add the societal influence from a small college community located in the buckle of the bible belt of America. You can find articles via our local newspaper comparing the churchs:residents ratio for this city, and surprisingly the churches:Chinese restaurants. The most recent tally was that there is one church to every 547 residents! Not only this, but the national headquarters for Assembly of God is located here as well as some of the largest mega churches in the nation.

Now, imagine being a young man and woman attending a Christian college in this community. These young college kids were great students, active in their clubs. One was well-known for music and having the voice of a song bird while the other may still hold a baseball record at the university. They were in love. And, just as many other college couples in ANY generation, for as long as human beings have existed, animal insticts took natural course. What's different with these two from some of the other couples at the university? She became pregnant.

Scared to death to face her mother and especially her father who lived in Dallas, she did the only thing she felt she could do - hide the entire pregnancy. Somehow she managed to get housing off campus. When she began to show, she wore a girtle. WORE A GIRTLE. Then, simply gave an excuse for why she was unable to come home for the holiday break in December. In February, when the time came for her to deliver, she gave birth to a healthy boy who was promptly placed at the foster home so he, Sam, could be ready for adoption as quickly as possible.

Now, I'm not going to step onto a platform about women's rights in this story because that is not what this is about. I do, however, want to just wonder for a moment at how great it would be for our women today to not have to feel shame for having sex. Shame for 'getting caught' by becoming pregnant. Shame for not being married to her partner. What if we lived in a world where we provided our sons and daughters access to birth control to prevent unwanted pregnancies? What if we chose to care for one another rather than judge? Wow...just imagine the possibilities.

Back in the 70's, this was something you didn't speak of, ever again. And, that's what they chose. There were a few months left in the semester after she gave birth so that provided the time necessary for her body to heal, before she returned home for summer break. One person would eventually know about Sam, that was his uncle. Sam's father had to share with someone and foturnately, he found confidentiality with his brother. Six months after Sam's arrival and adoption, they ended up getting married and they continued to wonder about him for the rest of his life.

"Sam (as he was called in the foster home) enjoyed rocking and took his bottles well." Some of the notes written in handwriting from the foster agency's caregivers. These documents were among the very few that existed from the adoption and they held the key that unlocked the mystery of how to located his birth mother when Curtis decided he was ready. One of the pieces of paper that had been acquired included the intake form for his biological parents. While the father's name wasn't included, the mother's name was written in, but then scribbled out. This document included a few details about their interests, religious beliefs and the fact that they were both in college at the time.

Being the 'techie' that I am, thanks Dad!, I looked very closely at the intake form that accompanied the few documents Curtis had been given by his parents. His birth mother's name was written in one color of ink, but then scribbled out in another color of ink - two different pens. The idea occurred to me, what if I scan the document in and then lift the scribbled color off and see what remnants of letters from the other color of ink are left behind. Maybe we can make out a few letters of the name! So, I put my investigative skills to the test and what happened next still gives me chills.

Here we are, in the back office room of our small bungalow home. It's late evening and I'm sitting at the computer. Curtis is standing next to me as we're studying the edited scanned image on the computer screen. The only letters I could clearly suggest as a possibility were a T, H and a D. And, even at that, it seemed a little bit like a stretch. All of the sudden, it was like an unknown entity leaned over my shoulder and said, "It's Thurmond."! I tell Curtis that I don't know why, but it just feels like it's Thurmond. It was hard to explain, seemed pretty damn woo-woo, but I felt very strongly that he should go with it.

And, well, it WAS Thurmond. The last name that was revealed to us that evening ended up being cross-referenced in the college alumni yearbooks at Evangel University. Curtis make a correct assumption that if they were in college and identified as Assembly of God, they must have been attending Evangel. Turns out, he found her name referenced in the 1974 yearbook, but was not photographed. Whoa! That seemed like too hot of a lead not to follow. So, after pestering the staff at the unviersity and then almost by way of another miracle, he was given her current name and phone number which is when he called her and left a message on her answering machine.

The evening they finally spoke on the phone, he found out that when she heard his message, she knew. She knew it was the day she'd always been waiting for - the day she'd finally get to meet [by way of phone] her oldest child. Before returning his call, she Googled his name and then had no doubt this was her son because his bright red hair was vibrant in the local newspaper article that the Google search returned. We had attended a tree planting ceremony in a local park and made the paper. It was that moment, she also found out she had a granddaughter - her first one.

The conversation that evening became the first of many, many heart-to-hearts that would help fill in gaps and set stories straight in Curtis' mind. Not only did he find out that his biological parents were still together, but he has two full blood siblings, aunts, uncles and two living grandfathers who has since passed. So much opportunity for healing would eventually present itself over the next decade, not just for him, but for everyone involved. Love, forgiveness, acceptance of what is, but most importantly, LOVE.

One of the best stories, however, was finding out that he was in-fact conceived BY THE FOUNTAIN on the university campus. For this, I am forever grateful because, to me, Curtis represents unconditional love, openness and forgiveness. He offers a peace and acceptance for everyone he crosses paths with and he'll be the first to tell you he's always learning.

That night by the fountain, a being was conceived that offers so many the ability to just be.