00 Grandad

My Granddad is the best. I know all kids say that but mine is definitely the bestest Granddad around. Fact. I can tell you why but you mustn’t tell anyone else ‘cos it’s a secret!

My Granddad is a spy!

No really! I can prove it!

My Granddad has such a big brain that it’s made his head grow even larger, pushing all his hair down to the sides. This makes Granddad super intelligent. Fact. My Granddad knows everything about everything, he can even do the telegraph crossword and he’s super at maths. Is yours?

When my Granddad goes outside he has to wear hats to hide his big brain from the baddies, hats with a brim so that his face is hidden too. He also has magic glasses that go dark when he leaves the house. This means you can’t see where he’s looking which is sneaky. I also think they’re magic because he seems to know exactly where I am and what I’m doing, even if I’m not in the same room as him. He KNOWS when I raid the biscuit tin on the top shelf in the kitchen and he’s sat in the lounge. Granddad must be able to see through walls.

Granddad has gadgets and gizmos all around the house. He also has a secret spy room which he calls an “office” but I know it’s a spy room because he has a super big computer in there and drawers full of intelligent looking papers and stuff.

Granddad’s also got a magic car that talks to him, tells him where his mission is and how long it’ll take him to get there. It can lock and unlock just by Granddad touching it. It recognises Granddads fingerprints!

But what makes it most obvious that Granddad is a spy are his robot legs. They still look kind of normal but there are scars over both his knees and hips. Granddad says his new legs can make him run, cycle and swim faster than ever before (all the better to catch the baddies I bet!). I’ve not seen him do this yet but I have seen Granddad dance. Boy can Granddad dance with his robot legs. He dances for ages, much quicker than those people on the telly that Grandma watches.

Granddad has even named his robot legs. Sometimes they go wrong and Granddad grumbles, makes a funny step and cusses. He says his Arthur and Otis is playing up and rubs his knees.

So there. Magic glasses, magic car and robot legs. My Granddad is a spy. Fact.