Understanding Your Child Through Storytelling: 5 Indirect Ways to Learn Their Feelings

Children are full of emotions, thoughts, and secrets they may not be ready to share directly. Often, parents want to understand what’s going on in their child’s mind, but asking questions like, “Do you love Mom more or Dad?” can put pressure on the child and make them uncomfortable.

Child psychologists suggest that instead of asking direct questions, parents should use gentle and creative ways to help their children express their feelings. Stories are one of the best tools for this purpose. They allow children to speak freely without feeling judged or afraid.

Here are 5 storytelling techniques that experts recommend to help parents understand their child’s emotions and fears in a natural and non-threatening way.

1. The Bird Story

Start with a story about a bird family – a father bird, a mother bird, and a little baby bird. They live together in a nest high up in a tree. One night, a strong wind blows, and the nest falls down. The father bird flies to one tree, and the mother bird flies to another.

Now, ask your child:

“Where do you think the baby bird flew?”

What it reveals:

If the child says the baby bird flew to its father, this may show they feel closer to or safer with their father.

If the child says it flew to its mother, it likely means they feel more attached to or protected by their mother.

This method helps you understand who the child feels more emotionally connected to, without asking them directly.

2. The Fear Story

Tell your child a short story:

"There is a child who cries often and says he is very scared."

Then ask:

“Why do you think this child is scared? Who might be frightening him?”

What it reveals:

Your child’s response can give you insight into what they are afraid of in real life—whether it’s a person, a situation, or an environment. This can help you identify problems that the child may not be able to express openly.

3. The Travel Story

Say to your child:

"There’s someone who is about to leave on a long journey and will never come back."

Then ask:

“Who do you think that person is?”

What it reveals:

If the child names someone they know, it may mean they are upset with or emotionally distant from that person.

If the child says, “It’s me,” it could mean they are experiencing sadness, loneliness, or even low self-esteem.

This story helps you detect emotional distress or conflicts your child may be going through.

4. The Good News Story

Tell your child:

"A child comes home from school. The mother greets him and says, ‘Come here quickly—I have some exciting news for you!’”

Now ask:

“What do you think the news could be?”

What it reveals:

The child’s answer will show their hidden hopes, wishes, or fears. If the child imagines something happy, it shows what they’re longing for. If the imagined news is negative, it may reflect their current worries or insecurities.

5. The Disturbing Dream Story

Say:

"A tired child tells his mother that he had a disturbing dream last night."

Then ask your child:

“What do you think the child saw in his dream?”

What it reveals:

This story allows the child to speak about their worries in a safe and imaginary way. Their response can tell you about their struggles in relationships—with family, friends, or even within themselves.