My Thoughts Before College

There are many times where I felt really stressed and overwhelmed about starting college back in my senior year of high school. I felt really nervous about everything. I started questioning the what if factors? I was basically scared of failing. Nobody one wants to fail while they are in college right. As time went on and close to graduation, I use to stay up in my bed and just overthink all of these possible situations I could put myself in.

Failing test, not getting along with others, no friends, and how will I be able to pay to keep going to college. I also thought about going broke or being in debt while I’m in college.

Having these thoughts and situations made me feel nervous. I was really nervous of what was going to happen. And most of the time I would be angry because I kept having these thoughts every single day. I thought about this whenever I went to bed when I woke up, and I would just sit in class overthinking.

When graduation arrived the thoughts of college went away for a while. I was excited I was done with high school. It was one of the best moments in life so far. But as soon as July came around my thoughts about college came back and this time the thoughts made me sad.

I’m not sure why but I was sad. The feeling of starting school again made me sad.

I would say that I was overwhelmed because I was out of high school and in one more month I was getting ready to start another chapter of life. I would say all of my fears comes from the fear of growing up. Time went by so fast you just think to yourself about how time goes by really fast and you are about to become a social norm for a couple of years.

This made it even more stressful for me because of the fear of college and also the fear of life itself once you graduate college and start your career. My mind became an empty void for awhile I’m not sure how to describe it.

After a couple of months, I came to the realization that I was overthinking and freaking out for no reason. I learn down the road that if you fail or make mistakes you keep on going and try even harder than you did last time.

Life is too short to be worrying about the thoughts I was thinking about. Overtime I manage to just keep myself busy all the time.

I work almost everyday, I wanted to have money so I will be able to afford college. I didn’t want to worry about money while I’m in school. It would take less stress off my me. Another thing I did to help me manage was I lived everyday as if it were my last day on Earth. I didn't want to worry about the small things.

I also watch videos on motivation in school, how to stop overthinking, and a lot more on YouTube. Over the summer I watch a lot of TED Talks. They give really good advice and motivation to keep you going no matter what you are going through. Those are very helpful if you need something.

Lastly one thing I realized was that I can not predict the future whenever I overthink. I have to faith in the choices I make and hopefully be sure they are the right choices I made.

The main reason I overthink is because of the decisions I made in the past and I let those affect my judgement for the future. Life is life and it will not be the end of the world if I fail a test or make one or two mistakes along the way. As long as I keep trying and doing my best then I will be just fine.