Feeling Home

Choosing what college to go to can be a very hard decision.

Now, I'm not here to pitch you a certain university or location that would be best for you based on what beauty the campus offers, or how qualified the professors are, or even how small and including the classroom sizes are.

I'm writing to help make the decision that can not only affect your career after college, but many aspects of your life, and to give you some more things to consider before finding your home for the next few years.

Your advice, from someone who is also in the same stage of life as you are currently, is as follows:

Find somewhere that has your major, or what you're interested in pursuing. I'm not going to go further into this because it really is something that is common sense that you would go to a college that provides the means for you to be successful in the field you prefer. So let's move on.

Find somewhere that is in a location you enjoy. Maybe that means staying in state, close to family, in somewhere similar enough to where you've lived all your life—or at least through high school. Or, it means somewhere completely new and somewhere you've never even been before. Don't be afraid of starting something new or stepping out of your comfort zone, whether that means only leaving your town for the next one over or the whole next state over.

Now, those two pieces of advice are very common if you were to look up other advice columns on how to choose where to go to school, but, I think one aspect that is not always covered is actually picturing yourself there.

Back in February of this year, I flew out to California to visit the school that a lot of my family attended and are currently attending, with one of my friends. Now, I had been on campus plenty of times before to move in my brothers and to visit my aunt who works there, but I had never actually been there for a "preview weekend" like the one the university was putting on. I had always been a little unsure about attending this school because so many of my family members went there, from both sides of the family, and while they all said good things about it, I had always felt like part of me wanted to go my own way and try something different. The weekend helped me see the real atmosphere of the school, and what the community was like there.

There was a really nice night where there were no more organized events for the weekend really planned, so my friend and I grabbed some drinks and sat outside in the warm evening air, just hanging out while the college life just carried on around us. We ended up sitting out there for close to 2 hours, just talking and people-watching and just being there. It was in that moment that the school really felt like home, and really felt like I could start this next chapter of my life there.

On the other hand, I have also experienced schools that didn't quite feel like home.

I recently visited a university that I planned on applying to and hoped to be accepted into. It was out of state, but I have family that lives nearby so I was able to fly out from home and visit the campus with them. I always had ideas that it would be so amazing and I would be so set and ready to make this school my top choice.

While the tour was great, and the school was as equally beautiful in person as it was online. My idea to write this whole advice piece came when I saw the students there.

There was a group of girls in their graduating gowns and their photographer heading to different spots around campus, taking pictures for presumably their graduation announcements. Now, this whole tour, I was going back and forth between whether or not I really liked this university or if I just liked the idea of it. The girls in their gowns made me realize that I couldn't see myself at that point in my life, graduating from this specific university, and really starting to build my own life from this school.

And no, I cannot see the future, but I can feel when my gut instinct tells me something important. I didn't have to make a decision right then and there to choose whether or not I'll go to that school, but I did realize that maybe it wasn't really the right fit for me.

So, in short, my final piece of advice for you is to do your best to go with your gut as to what schools feel like home to you. It feels so lazy and cheap to just be telling you to basically "follow your heart," and that "when you know, you know," but that's all it really comes down to.

It is really easy to fall into choosing somewhere to attend because of the school's reputation academically (or reputation for partying, if that's what you're into). It is also easy to just choose the schools that are good fits for you and your family financially, which is a totally valid reason. But even then, keep in mind that you can always find someplace that feels like home. And if not, I'm sure wherever your gut takes you will end up becoming home.

Good luck, safe travels, and best wishes to you during this new season of life!