The three passions that make me whole

I grew up believing that something you were passionate about was supposed to be a hobby. Something you did on the side when you had some time away from work. Work, which was supposed to be something you did day in, day out, without much joy, but that which would bring you the necessary money to support yourself and a family, should you have one.

If we look at the Merriam-Webster dictionary, here are some of the definitions of WORK (entry 1 of 3):

1.-

a: to perform work or fulfill duties regularly for wages or salary. Works in publishing

b: to perform or carry through a task requiring sustained effort or continuous repeated operations. Worked all day over a hot stove

c: to exert oneself physically or mentally especially in sustained effort for a purpose or under compulsion or necessity

2: to function or operate according to plan or design. Hinges work better with oil

3: to produce a desired effect or result: SUCCEED. A plan that will work

4: to exert an influence or tendency

5.-

a: to make way slowly and with difficulty: move or progress laboriously. Worked up to the presidency

b: to sail to windward

6.-

a: to move slightly in relation to another part

b: to get into a specified condition by slow or imperceptible movements. The knot worked loose

c: to be in agitation or restless motion

d: FERMENT sense 1

7: to permit of being worked: react in a specified way to being worked. This wood works easily

Nowhere does it say it should be enjoyable, fun, or a completion of one’s dreams.

Let’s take a look at HOBBY:

a: pursuit outside one's regular occupation engaged in especially for relaxation. Writing is just a hobby of his. Her hobbies include gardening and bird-watching.

Therefore, they exist separately, in different realms. And, we are taught from a young age, to do our work, and then play. But, what if our work was play?

As Mark Twain said:

“Find a job you enjoy doing, and you will never have to work a day in your life.”

Surely, it can’t be that simple? I believe it is, but we are taught otherwise. We are taught subjects in school that might not be attuned to our nature, to what our purpose really is, so we carry on, without much thought, focused on getting a career and making a living so we can go on vacations, have a family, and do the things we always wanted to do. Separate from work.

How many of us have been working somewhere and longing for Friday? And, when Friday finally arrives, what do we say? TFIF (my version, Thank Fuck It’s Friday).

Therefore, when I set out on my own journey to figure out what I wanted to study, I had many things to consider. What did I want to accomplish? What did I enjoy doing? I never considered money at a young age. I never thought about it that way.

Let me run you through some of my passions as I was growing up.

First I wanted to be a baker. I loved desserts and delicious baked goods, so that was my first idea (I am talking about maybe 5-6 years old).

Then I thought I wanted to be a ballerina. I was enrolled in ballet from the young age of 4 and quit when I was 12 (a decision I have always regretted). However, looking back, even though I really enjoyed it and I was actually pretty good at it, I think that was more of my mom’s dream than mine.

In my mid to late teens, I decided I wanted to be an astronomer. I grew up on a small island where the stars were always present in the sky. Light pollution was minimal, so I was lucky enough to be able to see a sky dressed in the most brilliant attire every night. I could distinguish the North Start, Betelgeuse, Orion, the Big Dipper, and many more. I’d lay mesmerized near a beach in the island’s capital and stare up at the infinite magnificence of the Universe. It was unbelievably cool. However, that dream died when I realized I wasn’t crazy about physics.

I’m afraid I am starting to sound a bit flaky and unsure of myself, but, please, stay with me for a bit longer.

All that time, there were two things I did consistently: write and draw. I started drawing as a child, like any kid. I’d draw the Earth ad-nauseam, to the point that my dad would ask us (it was something one of my sisters and I did repeatedly) if we couldn’t draw something else. As I grew older I’d draw animals (especially horses) and things around me. In my last year of high school, which was as an exchange student in California, I was encouraged by my art teacher to continue.

But it wasn’t until I watched Toy Story that something clicked. I loved it! Up to that point, I was a total Luddite. I didn’t even know how to create a document in Word. That movie changed me. I knew I wanted to do something with computers.

Let me tell you, I am a late bloomer. Some people know what they want from an early age and they work on that path of self-growth and improving their skills. As you can see, I had a lot of ideas growing up, but nothing that clicked. And, well, it doesn’t even end there. You see, dear reader, here’s what happened. I watched that movie and I said: I want to do that! That meant the animation, the storytelling, the whole shebang!

When I got back home to the Canary Islands, I got a computer with the help of my mom. I didn’t really know where to start, but I started by learning how to use Windows (I took courses and applied myself). I learned how to use the computer, and I wrote a book. Yes, that was my first goal. To write a book. I tried to get it published, but it got rejected. I wanted to go back to California to study, so I looked at all the different possibilities to get a scholarship to study at a university there and fulfill my dream of becoming an animator. Everything was futile. Perhaps I didn’t believe strongly enough that it was possible. Perhaps I let the challenges of doing it get in my way. Perhaps I gave up too easily. Whatever the case was, I looked in a different direction. I went to Montreal, Canada, instead. I had met someone there who I grew fond of and I thought it could be a stepping stone in moving towards my dream.

I applied for the Graphic Design program at Concordia University because I felt it was the closest thing to animation (I had no portfolio to be able to apply for animation, again, maybe I was low on the belief juice, but that’s the decision I made back then). I did enjoy graphic design. It was fun. There were a lot of things I loved about it. Creating something from nothing, solving problems, coming up with the right solutions for a client. Illustrating and creating logos was probably my favorite part of it. I enjoyed each job I had in the field and I learned so much, but I knew, deep inside, that it wasn’t my true passion. There was still a burning desire within me to animate, to learn to do that and to be a better illustrator. I never called myself an illustrator because I didn’t think I was very good at it, and I didn’t want to put that out there. Therefore, I marketed myself as a graphic designer. I worked at different companies, I freelanced, and when I moved to Toronto I started my own business, which I did on and off.

Even though I learned a lot working for other companies, and at times I had to put my business aside so that I could earn money to support myself, I always felt that there was more to it than just having a job.

As Tony Gaskins said:

“If you don’t build your dreams, someone will hire you to help build theirs.”

I needed to continue working on my business, but I needed to find that inner light that would fire me up and get me excited about jumping out of bed in the morning and creating something that meant something.

That’s why the past year and a half I’ve been doing some thinking and some soul searching. I realized I wanted to do more illustrations, more animal-related illustrations, and branding.

I decided to start by having a promotion for friends and family and create illustrations of their pets for the first year. They were well received and it made me happy to bring joy to all the happy owners. I felt that I was doing what I was meant to be doing.

However, I wanted to do more. I thought of wildlife. I’ve always loved animals, and I’ve always been inclined to help animals in distress, whether they are mice or bunnies in the Canary Islands, baby squirrels in Toronto, cygnets during cold Swedish winters, or hummingbirds that crash onto skyscraper windows in Montreal. My heart has always had a soft spot for those who can’t speak for themselves.

I created an illustrated heart with a bunch of wild animals, until someone said they’d buy a shirt if the animals on the illustration were all endangered. So my heart (literally and figuratively) was now filled with animals that were in the IUCN Red List (The International Union for Conservation of Nature Red List of Threatened Species).

That idea started brewing in my mind, and later that year (end of 2019) I opened my Shopify store with my own animal designs. At first I only had the heart design and a couple of others, but in the past 15 months I’ve been creating and adding more illustrated wildlife that are endangered or threatened.

My store not only has clothing, but also things for the home, accessories, notebooks, and a whole array of products that I think people would really enjoy. From that, part of my business mission is to donate a percentage of the profits to different organizations that help wildlife and their habitats and do a great job towards the sustainability and well-being of these creatures. I felt that I was getting closer to my purpose. I want to continue with my store. I want to continue creating designs that I think bring awareness to these animals and their situation, and I want to continue donating to these causes.

I’ve also been teaching myself more animation software so I can start incorporating that into the way I tell my story. To how I tell the story of these animals. I want to be able to emotionally move and to reach the hearts of those who might not be aware of how animals suffer, of how important they are to the health of our planet and our surroundings and, well, ourselves.

As Stewart L. Udall, former United States Secretary of the Interior, once said:

“Plans to protect air and water, wilderness and wildlife, are in fact plans to protect man.”

Highlights from his Cabinet career are The Wilderness Bill; The Wild and Scenic Rivers Act; the expansion of the National Park System to include four new national parks, six new national monuments, eight seashores and lakeshores, nine recreation areas, twenty historic sites, and fifty-six wildlife refuges; and the creation of The Land and Water Conservation Fund. After leaving government service in 1969, Stewart went on to teach for a year at Yale Universities School of Forestry as a Visiting Professor of Environmental Humanism.(excerpt from https://speccoll.library.arizona.edu/online-exhibits/exhibits/show/stewart-lee-udall/bio)

I just started working on a new project. Something completely out of my comfort zone that combines my biggest passions: writing. animals, and illustrating. I can’t disclose more than that, as it’s a project in its infancy and it’s something that I want to get published, so I need to keep it very hush-hush for now, but I will be sure to share more once it’s done. This project will help educate and bring awareness to a specific wilderness situation that has gone very dire and is in need of being talked about as much as possible.

In the past year, I’ve started following more conservationists and wildlife organizations on social media to be better informed and also to find more organizations to support and donate to. There are so many great ones doing such an amazing job out there, that they inspire me to do better myself.

As I keep growing my store, and my brand, and making my story more visible, I want to keep giving back. I love creating. I always have, but I also want to do more. I feel that my skills and my desire to grow, get better at what I do, and create more work that can help others understand some of the challenges that Nature and wildlife are facing today, is part of my reason for being. I want to build something good to then take it a step further.

My long-term goal is to create a sort of sanctuary for animals in need. I’m thinking first about domesticated animals. Something where animals that are abandoned are safe and won’t be euthanized. Saving animals that live on the streets, without a home, without regular food. A place that offers veterinary care for animals whose owners can barely support themselves, let alone their pets. I think there are a lot of kind souls out there who love animals, but have a hard time taking care of them because of their situations. I want to create a space for them there where they can bring their pets if they are sick but they don’t have enough money to do it. A place where they can sit, have a coffee, read a book while they wait for their animal to receive the best possible care. Maybe it sounds utopian, but I believe it’s possible. I believe with enough love, work, and support from the right people, something like this is possible. There are many organizations doing something similar. There are people out there who love to help and who have the means to help. Having a pet, or an animal in our lives, being surrounded by animals, wildlife, other creatures is such a great experience, that it shouldn’t be considered a luxury or a privilege. Animals provide so much comfort and peace to humans. Countless studies have shown that they provide support to sick patients, or inmates, or sad or depressed people. There’s something about taking care of an animal that brings the best out of us. I want to be able to support that, to encourage it, and to help in any way I can.

I have mentioned several passions in this entry: illustrating, animals, and on a more superficial note, writing. However, writing is a big one. Writing has allowed me to get here and reach out to you, the judges reading this, the other vocal members curious to read what I have to say, anyone who’s stumbled upon this post by chance, or you, one of my friends, family, or support groups spending a few minutes of your day —thank you kindly— supporting my love for writing. My love for telling my story and sharing with you my vulnerabilities, insecurities, mistakes, and dreams. Writing allows me to say that which I cannot speak. Writing allows me to reach the hearts of others who don’t know me, who might want to say what I am saying, but are unable, incapable, or, just not willing. There’s such power in words.

As Joseph Conrad said:

"My task, which I am trying to achieve is, by the power of the written word, to make you hear, to make you feel--it is, before all, to make you see." 

Let me finish by saying, a passion should be pursued if it serves you to be the person you are meant to be by being the best version of yourself, therefore giving back, inspiring by being that true self you were always born to become.

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