Proof the Earth is Flat

YouTube is the audio version.

For most of my life, I believed the Earth was round. I did not think much about it. After all, Magellan had sailed around the Earth. Wasn’t that enough?

Then one day, as I was taking my morning walk around the block, I realized I had started at one point and returned to that point without turning around. Now obviously, I did not walk around the world. So how did this happen? Simple answer, I walked in a circle.

Is that what Magellan did? That would have been much simpler. And is not the simplest solution usually the correct solution? Did Magellan just make a big loop around the Atlantic Ocean? It seemed plausible.

But if I was going to change my opinion about the Earth being flat, I needed to apply some scientific rigor. An experiment that would prove the Earth was flat. I saw a basketball sitting on the ground. I realized that the basketball should roll away if the Earth was round. I needed to test my hypothesis.

I got a round barrel and laid it on its side. I put the basketball on the barrel, and it rolled off. A chill ran down my spine. Did I just prove that if a ball is placed on the surface of a round object, it will roll off? I repeated the experiment with a baseball, a ping-pong ball, a marble, and a billiard ball. All with the same results. I turned the barrel upright and placed the basketball on the flat lid. It did not move.

But I knew that if I was to publish my result, I needed to have the experiment repeated by someone else. And it should be a blind study. The Scientific community is very big on blind studies. And if they were not only going to accept but embrace my conclusion that the Earth is indeed flat, my experiment had to adhere to the highest scientific methods.

I blindfolded my brother and had him repeat the experiment. Again, he got the exact same results. A 100% confirmation.

After the experiment, I explained to my brother what I was doing. He responded by calling me a moron. This further confirmed that I was on the right track. So often, when you go against what is generally believed, people call you names. I know this is anecdotal proof, but proof nevertheless.

I remembered that Isaac Newton claimed the Earth was round. But Einstein proved several of Newton’s theories wrong. If you can be wrong about one fact, can’t you be wrong about others? Besides, who was I to go against Albert Einstein?

I just needed something that could not be questioned. Something that would prove beyond any doubt that the Earth was flat. Then one day in Home Depot, I saw it, a level. And not just any level but a deluxe level. Its whole purpose for existing was to show you what was flat. It was on sale, begging me to buy it. Fate had shown me the way.

I put the level on my table, perfectly flat. Then I put it on my counter, the refrigerator, a bookshelf, and a coffee table, all flat. Finally, I took it outside and lay on the ground so I would be at eye level with the little bubble that never lies. I held my breath and placed it on a small patch of Earth. 100% without question, flat.

This was proof positive. Home Depot is one of our most respected commercial enterprises. It would never sell a level that did not work. Besides, it had a money-back guarantee. Home Depot now had a financial stake in the outcome.

The Earth is flat, and I have proven it!