Nin Ninna

*ACT 1*

Leaving North Carolina to start a new life in Missouri seemed like my only choice at the time. Robin, my oldest, was still in middle school, Sofia was just a few months old and Jay, my middle child still had asthma then, and a lurking congenital defect that would show its ugly face the very next year.

Being a military brat, I am very accustomed to uprooting and moving. I have relocating down to a science, so the process is organized and seamless. Though the sparkle of adventure was overshadowed by the series of events that broke my heart, I didn't let it cripple me. We left and unseasonably warm North Carolina and were greeted by a foot of snow in KCMO. It was November.

Perched on the hilly street, our house was huge. It wasn't the best neighborhood, but who cares, it was all ours. There was a fireplace in the living room, an enormous basement and a tiny attic room with an even tinier bathroom.

I would spend my days up there, reading every esoteric book I could get my hands on. My plan was to bury myself in my interests to deafen the sound of my heartbreak. I leafed through the bible to search for meaning, newspapers for current events and online publications for meditation and inner guidance. It worked. I left my past behind, me and I was finding myself again, peacefully living day to day, adorning my world with the contentment of tending to my house and my children.

There we were, starting over in that big ole house on Van Brunt.

One chilly afternoon, after finishing my chores, a sank into a chair on the porch with a cigarette and waited for the kids to come from school. I puffed, absorbed in my thoughts, gazing occasionally at the turning foliage of the trees that filled the lot that faced my house. As I realized I felt observed, I locked eyes with a barn owl that was camouflaged in the leaves. Majestic but nocturnal creatures, I thought it odd to see one there at three pm. I shook off the strange discomfort I felt as it seemed the owl, even from that distance, was looking into my soul.

The sound of familiar voices nearby shifted my attention, and I greeted my smiling kids, kissing their cold cheeks one by one as they walked in the door ready for the snack I had prepared. The strange encounter floated from my mind, as thoughts do. Little did I know, the moment with that owl would change my life forever.

That night, when everyone was fast asleep, I made my rounds of the candlelit house, admiring the vintage knick knacks I recently bought at that thrift store down the street; I felt accomplished and warm as I locked the frosty windows and doors. Yawning, I retreated to my room, sank into my bed and fell into a deep cavernous sleep.

The next morning, to my surprise, all the windows I had so carefully locked, were open. All of them. Confused, "I locked them all..", I said to myself". But you know how you second guess yourself.. doubt your memory.. I shrugged it off as I kissed the kids goodbye. Then, coffee in hand, I climbed the stairs to my little room and dove into my daily studies.

As the freezing rain turned into snow, the day turned into night.

*ACT 2*

Rays of cold winter sun poked through my windows, and I opened my eyes to a new day. This time the open windows alarmed me to my core. I shivered from the icy draft. How could this be? I had been especially careful the previous night, locking every window one by one. Worry set in.. and myriad of scenarios. Was one of us sleep walking? Was I losing my mind?

I sat with the kids after school and explained the strange occurrence. They were now included in the nightly security check. This ritual would prove itself futile as for the next four days, no matter how diligently we listened for the telltale click of the lock of the newly installed windows, by daybreak, they would be open. By the third day, after taking my neighbor's advice to call the police, I concluded the house was haunted. My statement sounded ridiculous as the officer recited my words and his only suggestion was to install a security system. A headache settled in my temples. By the next day, it was a migraine.

To my dismay, the pain lasted into the afternoon. I have always been blessed with good health, so any pain or illness was unusual. It was Friday and the children were in the backyard enjoying the last few hours of daylight. I was making chili, their favorite.

Out of nowhere, the migraine intensified. Feeling faint, I stopped stirring the chili and steadied myself on the counter. A strange hiss filled the room. It was like the static in between channels on old fashioned tv. Realizing the noise came from behind me, my breath froze in my chest. As the pot of chili bubbled, I turned to face the owl. The endless depth of its hypnotic stare was the last thing I saw.

My throbbing head woke me in the dark of night. Robin was at my bedside. She had found me on the kitchen floor and brought me to my room. My lack of recollection disturbed me. Misreading the worry on my face she reassured me: her little brother and sister were fed, and they were in their pajamas watching their favorite show. "Just rest mama..", she said, "you'll be fine in the morning". Promising to diligently lock the doors and windows before bed, Robin kissed my forehead and joined her siblings for popcorn and Looney Tunes. Feeling grateful for my gentle, responsible daughter, I closed my eyes and drifted to sleep.

*ACT 3*

A bolt of lightning preceded a thunderclap, and I came to.

"Are you even listening?" asked a voice I realized had been talking for what seemed to be an eternity. "This is all very important, you know", in an accent I couldn't place.

A silly haircut framed his head like a halo, a robe exposed his sandaled feet. Bewildered, I tried to gain composure and asked the little man who he was. "When the student is ready, the teacher will come", he replied flatly, unimpressed with my question. He left my side and shuffled down what I now saw was an old wooden gazebo in an overgrown hanging garden. The storm stopped and the clouds drew back like curtains in a Shakespearean play. The man gestured, summoning me to follow him. Open mouthed, I obeyed.

On he spoke as I walked behind him on the narrow path through the garden. The smell of passionfruit flowers saturated the air. How did I get here? I tried in vain to remember what had happened. "This must be a dream" I muttered to myself. In response, the man stopped, turned to me with a toothy smile and a twinkle in his eye. He opened his arms as wide as he could and clapped his hands. A sudden flash of light made me squint and the garden faded like a fog. All around us, images danced about like from a movie projector in a dark cinema. "This is the story of the world", he pointed. Colorful scenes of moments in history scrolled by: bricks toppled as the German wall fell, young soldiers marched along rice fields, colonizers arrived to sandy shores. Inventions, discoveries, art and war.. I took it all in as the man explained, his face flashing here and there, reflecting the bright reds and yellows of the moving reels of time.

After what seemed like days, the man stopped talking and his face grew solemn. "What am I doing here?", I finally asked. "This", he said, "is the answer to your call. For years we have been watching you, waiting for the right time... Behind the madness of Earth's wars", he continued, "lies a darkness that has plagued your world's earliest days. Evil spirits chained to the lurid confines of what you call hell, whisper vile intent into the ears of powerful men, luring them into the recesses of godless voids, and from the murky pits of despair, they steer them, suggesting unspeakable acts. A war is raging.. not for riches or power, but for the destiny of Man.. for you do not have souls, my dear, you are souls. This wickedness delights in destroying your inherent goodness and the balance of life itself. Through the ages, certain humans have been born as a solution. Carrying deep within their genetic code an ability to counter these dark forces. And if they foster and develop righteousness, like water to a seed, this ability blooms, making one a breathing, walking weapon. Just as you carry the name of your grandmother, Gabriella, her special genes hide within you like stow aways, waiting for the ship to port. You, woman, have labored towards enlightenment all your life. Our encounter is the flower of that labor."

".. and the owl?" I interrupted. "The owl is a vehicle." waving his hand as he responded as if wiping the sky. The barn owl appeared above me and flew to his upraised arm. ".. and a transporter, if you will" he concluded.

The strange man and the owl both watched me as the words just spoken settled in my mind. My thoughts took me to the moments in which introspection led me to look for higher truths. The man bowed to me and recited: "Once, I was told there are dreams to behold in the sky of our mind. Take a chance and unfold the secrets untold and the truth left behind. To seek is to find", he said, "to search is Divine".

*ACT4*

Golden morning light flooded my room, and I was awake in my bed. I jumped up to look out my open window. The barn owl was resting on the dewy fence that divided my yard and the neighbor's. I stood shaking in disbelief as the owl cocked its head before taking flight and disappearing into the misty blue sky.

Have you ever lived through an event so earth shattering and unique that there is no name for the emotion it ensues? Well, that was my condition. It was as though I had seen a brand new color and was being asked to describe it.

From the core of my being to the tips of my hair, I felt reborn, like I was occupying my skin for the very first time. Clarity rang through me like the twinkle of a bell. My mind, body and spirit were restored with resurrected awareness and were sharp with purpose.

I gathered myself and got dressed. It was a glorious Saturday morning and I felt like making like making waffles (wink).

I went to my kids' rooms to watch their sleeping faces. Leaving North Carolina to start a new life in Missouri seemed like my only choice at the time. But now I knew that my inner guidance had shined to me like a lighthouse in a dark stormy night. And the series of events that broke my heart were actually lessons for my refinement.

From that moment on, nights would transport me to tremendous adventures and mystical worlds. With the little man guiding me from afar, I was training to be the strongest Benandante the world would ever see.