The Day I Tried to Fix a Leaky Faucet and Unleashed Plumbing Pandemonium

Just one innocent, barely-audible drop every few seconds from the bathroom sink.

Plink… plink… plink…

At first, I ignored it. That’s what mature adults do, right? We acknowledge home issues and then… pretend they aren’t happening for six to eight business weeks.

But this drip was relentless. It haunted me.

While brushing my teeth: plink.

While watching Netflix: plink.

While trying to sleep: plink plink plink, followed by my internal voice yelling, “FIX IT OR I WILL.”

So, I did what any totally unqualified human does: I watched a five-minute YouTube tutorial, declared myself a plumber, and decided to handle it solo.

Let me tell you — I should not have handled it solo.

Step 1: YouTube Gave Me False Confidence

The video was titled something like “Fix a Leaky Faucet in 3 Easy Steps!”

The guy in the video had a soothing voice and very clean hands. He said things like,

“Don’t worry — anyone can do this!”

and

“This whole job will take ten minutes, tops.”

What he didn’t say was:

“Unless you’re me. Or licensed. Or not cursed.”

I watched the tutorial twice, nodded like I understood words like “aerator” and “compression nut,” and marched into my bathroom like Bob the Builder’s slightly unstable cousin.

Step 2: The Faucet Fight Begins

I turned off the water supply. That part went surprisingly well. So well, in fact, I briefly considered opening my own plumbing side hustle.

Then I grabbed a wrench.

Let’s be clear: I do not know how to use a wrench.

My only experience with wrenches is watching cartoon characters accidentally bonk themselves on the head with them.

I tried to unscrew the leaky part. It didn’t move.

I tried again. It still didn’t move.

So, naturally, I applied more force — because that’s what I’ve learned from years of opening stuck jars and dealing with feelings.

That’s when the faucet snapped.

SNAPPED.

As in, it came loose in a way it absolutely should not have.

Water started hissing. I screamed. My cat fled the scene like a tiny orange blur of judgment.

Step 3: The Waterworks (Literal and Emotional)

So now I had:

One broken faucet piece

Water slowly pooling around my feet

A wrench stuck to something (I still don’t know what)

And the realization that I had absolutely no backup plan

I ran to the kitchen to grab a towel and returned to find the bathroom now had the energy of a water park for toddlers — damp, dangerous, and full of regret.

I yelled, “WHY DID I DO THIS?” to no one in particular.

The faucet said nothing. The faucet was smug.

I grabbed a bowl and started scooping water out like I was on a sinking pirate ship and also very unqualified to be on that ship.

Step 4: The Emergency Call

You know that moment when you have to call for help and admit defeat?

Yeah. I reached that moment — barefoot, soggy, and holding a wrench like a medieval weapon.

I called my cousin Felix. He’s not a plumber, but he once installed a new toilet without crying, so in my mind, he’s basically a wizard.

He answered on the third ring.

Me: “Can you come over and save me from a plumbing disaster that may or may not result in me living in a floating bathroom forever?”

Felix: “...What did you do?”

Step 5: The Plumber Arrives (Sort Of)

Felix showed up 15 minutes later with a toolbox, a bag of chips, and the tired eyes of someone who has seen me make very poor choices before.

He took one look at the faucet, turned off the correct valve (I had turned off the wrong one, obviously), and said gently:

“You… tried.”

Which, honestly, was the most encouraging thing anyone’s ever said to me while I was sitting in a puddle.

He fixed it. It took him 12 minutes.

I paid him in gratitude, praise, and two leftover muffins.

What I Learned From My Plumbing Meltdown

YouTube tutorials are made by people with tools, experience, and functioning upper body strength.

Do not be deceived.

A wrench in the wrong hands is just a heavy regret stick.

Respect the wrench.

Sometimes being a grown-up means knowing when to call someone who knows what they’re doing.

Also: knowing where your towels are.

A leak is not just a drip. It’s a warning. Like a mouse in the wall or a creaking sound at midnight. Deal with it fast — or prepare to battle Poseidon in your bathroom.

Always have snacks on hand for emergencies.

Fixing things is better with chips.

Would I Try DIY Plumbing Again?

Absolutely not.

I will proudly pay someone else to fix anything involving water, wires, or screws that require more than gentle twisting. My ego has recovered, but my bathroom floor still bears emotional scars.

Next time, I’ll stick to what I do best:

Rearranging my bookshelf for no reason

Naming my houseplants

Dramatically retelling stories about how I once battled a faucet and lost