Feedback Requested
Draft: De-cluttering
*If you want to skip ahead to the part I want feedback on, scroll down to the header labeling the drafted poem below. Lately, I have been having trouble with endings. Starting poems or prose is the easy part. A line comes to me and often starts as a quick note in my phone. It's easy to run with it, but where do I stop and how?
By Kay Husnick2 years ago in Critique
ChronoShift
INT. DAVID'S DULL OFFICE - DAY A dimly lit office cluttered with stacks of books and papers. DAVID KNIGHT (30s, disheveled and disillusioned) sits at his desk, staring at a blank computer screen. He absentmindedly taps his pen against the desk, lost in his own thoughts.
By Lawrence Lease2 years ago in Critique
Constructive Criticism Makes You a Better Writer & Human Being
Egos aside, who doesn't love a five star review on their work. Depending on the context, such reviews can either be helpful, or they can rightly downgrading, depending on what was said in such reviews. Earning a Top Story award on Vocal Media (and appropriately enough; speaking of things being in fives rather than threes); it has been fifth time successful for yours truly in that regard. Moreover, I digress. Successful outcomes as a by-product of your writing work; from winning a Top Story award on Vocal Media, to achieving yet another payout on Stripe, and even gaining new subscribers out of the blue; would such milestones in producing such quality workmanship be the keys towards being open to some constructive criticism/feedback on your work the majority (if not all) of the time? Absolutely.
By Justine Crowley2 years ago in Critique
~Hercules Ring~ Additional story information! Free for people to critique!
~Hercules Ring~ *Background details of Hercules story and the information that changed his life forever and made him into the strong man and hero with a desire to be good and help others have good lives to live free of suffering or at least able to bare it! I'm looking for ideas, and suggestions on when and where to write in the details and information that is needed for the larger story to come together better and make sense as a whole! This is not an easy project to write so anyone with ideas or experience in exploring mythical history of such a nature (including Hercules history) are welcome to provide material or direction that will help improve the story and make it that much more better! And here is the link to the original submitted first chapter to my work. https://shopping-feedback.today/fiction/hercules-ring I'm waiting for contest results before I can re-submit the whole body of new work to the new Chapters group!*
By Jennifer Cooley2 years ago in Critique
The Midnight Society
When I was just thirteen years old, I had the idea for this story. It was full of corruption, espionage, world politics, and maybe just slightly too ambitious for a kid. But I loved writing it. The research for how political power works, types of governments and their function, cold wars and espionage was endlessly fascinating. Crafting plot twist after plot twist, betrayal after betrayal, characters so real I could almost see them sitting before me was what gave me my kick start into writing. It got complicated, and twisted, and I was horrible at keeping up with notes, so I lost the trail of the plot and the enthusiasm to continue it.
By Sarah Massey2 years ago in Critique
A YA Story Looking for Input
*** This is basically an excerpt from a YA/Upper Middle grade story looking for critique.*** My main questions would be - from the perspective of a reader of this genre - does the story grab your attention? What needs to be added to make it more interesting? And, of course, if you notice any grammatical errors or clumsy sentences, feel free to point them out also. Add any critiques to the comment section, or PM if you would like it to be kept more quiet.
By KJ Aartila2 years ago in Critique
Sun & Sand. Top Story - August 2023.
Evan Forrester stalked up the beach and to the beachside bar at least six steps ahead of Katie. This left plenty of room for people to not believe that they were a pair and those people innocently cut in between the two people as groups either made their ways back to the beach or up to the bar as well. A few of them were kind enough to mumble “excuse me” or “pardon me.” No one hung back and allowed her to catch back up with Evan; no one knew about the infractions that they were committing. No; it was the young group of college aged males who knowingly and indiscreetly stared at her to size her up that really bothered the brunette beauty. Had it been in her nature, she might have flipped them off. Today, she was dangerously close to that being in her nature.
By Kent Brindley2 years ago in Critique
