Nashuri is Not Enemies to Lovers; it's Romanticized Abuse

Warning: This essay will discuss the death of a fictional character and other forms of violence. Please use discretion when reading.

Shipping is a fun activity and a way for fandoms to connect creatively about their favorite characters and stories. It allows them to explore different dynamics and alternate universes with these characters. So, it's understandable why it sounds daunting that a fun activity should have rules and boundaries.

When I watched the trailer for Black Panther: Wakanda Forever, I was enamored by the perceived chemistry between Queen Ramonda and the villain Namor. I went into the theatre hoping I could write an enemies-to-lovers fanfiction based on their dynamic. Sadly, I was left disappointed when Namor attacked the Wakandan palace with water bombs, causing Queen Ramonda to use her final breath to save Riri Williams. While her death saddened me, I also grieved that I couldn't obsess over the Ramonda/Namor ship as much as I'd have liked. I was uncomfortable with the idea of shipping a black woman with a man who hurt her.

So, imagine my surprise when I learned that people were shipping Namor with her daughter.

Nashuri

Nashuri is a ship made up of Namor and Shuri from Black Panther: Wakanda Forever. This ship started when audience members noticed the chemistry between Namor and Shuri and labeled it romantic. Others, like me, read the chemistry as a bond between two people who have both suffered losses and lived with grief. Many Black Panther fans find the ship problematic due to the age gap and Namor killing Shuri's mother. Defenders of this ship have accused the anti-shippers of hating the enemies-to-lovers trope and pushing the idea of purity culture.

Given the title of this article, it is clear that I'm an anti-shipper. The purpose of this article is to explain why people are against this ship, how it doesn't fit into the enemies-to-lovers trope, and allow the readers to make their own choices should they choose to read this article.

When it comes to the enemies-to-lovers trope, Nashuri is not the best example of it. Their ship fits the romanticized abuse trope.

Enemies-to-lovers vs Romanticized Abuse

Enemies-to-lovers is a storytelling trope in which two characters start as adversaries and develop romantic feelings for each other through various circumstances. This could involve resolving misunderstandings, addressing personal conflicts, or overcoming external pressures. Enemies-to-lovers is a fun trope because of the idea of seeing someone's worst side and loving them anyway. There's also the notion that these two characters don't make sense together until they do. My favorite example of this trope is Makeem (Maya Landry and Hakeem Lyon) from Empire. At first, they seemed like an unlikely pair because of their banter, but then they had moments that made them good for each other, such as when they set up Hakeem's movie co-star, Nicole, in a tabloid-like story to promote the Empire movie.

The enemies-to-lovers trope is why the Ramonda/Namor ship appealed to me. Even though they would've been a toxic relationship because of their clashing personalities and stubbornness, their long years of experience and the ability to find common ground make them a healthier ship.

Sometimes writers and readers conflate enemies-to-lovers with romanticized abuse.

Romanticized abuse is when unhealthy or abusive behaviors in relationships are portrayed as passionate or desirable. When it comes to the enemies-to-lovers trope, there has to be a line between being enemies and being abusive. People who don't recognize the line often believe that abusive behavior is a way of getting their love interest's attention. This stems from the patriarchal (and often heteronormative) belief that a boy is mean to a girl because he likes her.

On the Literary Huntress blog, contributor Tasya wrote a post titled "Let's Talk About: Enemies to Lovers trope and the boundaries between healthy and problematic storylines." This article breaks down what the enemies-to-lovers trope is, why people love it, and how it sometimes crosses the line into romanticized abuse. Tasya's article highlights that today's romances often idealize emotionally unstable, narcissistic love interests who avoid growing through hardship while the heroine suffers alongside them.

This is what a romance between Shuri and Namor feels like.

Shuri and Namor had the perfect setup for an enemies-to-lovers story. They were both leaders of nations left untouched by colonization. Now that the American government is seeking resources from both nations, an alliance between them is needed, but neither trusts the other.

Off topic, but worth noting how the conflict between Shuri and Namor is an example of how two communities of color can be at war with each other, distracting us from the impending doom of white supremacy lurking in the background. We can see it now in today's social climate.

My bias against the Nashuri is partially from wanting to ship Ramonda/Namor. That doesn't erase Nashuri having an inappropriate age gap and the fact that he killed her mother.

Nashuri's Inappropriate Age Gap

When it comes to their age gap, their shippers often overlook it because the age gap shouldn't matter in fantasy settings, and Namor ages more slowly than humans because of his special abilities.

Age-gap relationships—real or fictional—spark controversy because the younger person is often seen as vulnerable, which can lead to power imbalances. The older partner may hold more authority, experience, and resources, raising questions about consent and agency. For Nashuri, one could question why their age gap is inappropriate when they're both adults. One, Namor is 500 years old, even though he could pass for a 30 or 40-year-old. Because of his advanced age, he shouldn't be interested in anyone who's under 27 to even out the power imbalance. Two, Shuri is about 24, and while she's almost 27, there's still an uneven dynamic between them. Her prefrontal cortex is almost fully developed, and she's mostly decided who she is and what she wants, so we can't say their relationship is grooming or Namor trying to mold her into someone he wants her to be. Still, that doesn't mean it's appropriate for Shuri to be in a relationship with a 500-year-old mutant. Since Namor is the villain, it's creepy for him to pursue a young woman like Shuri, especially while she's vulnerable and grieving her brother.

When I brought up the age gap before, someone asked me how it was different when I shipped him with Ramonda. Yes, there's an age gap between Ramonda and Namor, but Ramonda is at least 60-65 and mentally on the same level as Namor, evening out the power balance. Also, it doesn't matter who she dates as long as they're over 35. So, putting her in a relationship with a 500-year-old mutant is not inappropriate.

Nashuri's age gap is often compared to that of Shuriri (the ship between Shuri and Riri Williams). When their age gap is brought up, people usually point out that Riri is a minor in the comics. Even though it's true, the statement overlooks that Riri was aged to be between 18 and 20 in the MCU. While the gap between 24 and 18 is slightly controversial due to the difference, the power balance remains even, making it unlikely to appear as grooming. Shuriri's age gap turns some people off because they themselves wouldn't find an 18-year-old attractive at 24 due to their perceived lack of maturity, and that's a valid reason. However, saying their age gap is toxic while Namor and Shuri's is okay is a hypocritical and borderline homophobic opinion.

Namor Killed Shuri's Mother

Namor killing Shuri's mother is the reason a lot of the Black Panther fandom is against Nashuri and why I find them toxic and abusive. If Namor and Shuri were going to have an enemies-to-lovers story, it ended when he decided to kill Ramonda, causing lasting damage to Shuri. Taking away her only living relative, further adding to her grief and trauma, makes him her abuser. In an article titled "How to Use the Enemies-to-Lovers Trope," author Katri Soikkeli advises that violence and outright abuse cannot be grounds for two characters to become enemies who will eventually become lovers. "The characters should be able to overcome the differences through personal change - you can't undo murdering someone's family. Sure, they can be mean and even a little cruel, and they definitely don't have to be good people, but this trope isn't about excusing or glorifying abusive behavior. It's about change." This debunks the notion that Namor killing Shuri's mother is just a part of the enemies-to-lovers story.

Killing a family member is justifiable if they were evil, abusive, and truly deserved it. Ramonda didn't deserve to die. She and Nakia both contributed to her death, but it was ultimately Namor's decision to throw the water bombs that flooded the throne room.

Some Nashuri shippers have disrespected Queen Ramonda by labeling her death as an interruption to Nashuri's enemies-to-lovers story and downplayed it as an accident instead of the violence it was. It was no accident. Namor deliberately set out to harm her and used her death to send a message. On the beach before the attack, Namor threatened Ramonda with harm should his people be hurt. Even though Ramonda should've called off Nakia after Namor reassured her she was safe, he still planned an attack on Wakanda. While attacking Wakanda, Namor tried to intimidate Ramonda by driving the spear into the window. Then he threw the bombs into the window and watched her drown in the water. And as they attempted and failed to revive her, he looked at a broken and distraught Shuri and said, "You are queen now."

Too many steps were taken for this to be considered an accident.

If someone caused this much harm in real life, they would be considered abusive. Is it less abusive because Namor is a fantasy character? And why do their shippers get angry when people point out that he killed Shuri's mother? I understand wanting to create an alternate universe where this didn't happen, but it's unfortunately canon, and this kind of violence should not be overlooked, tolerated, or romanticized.

Another thing the shippers do regarding Ramonda's death is pass the buck to Riri. Yes, Ramonda risked her life to save Riri, and yes, she probably would've lived if Riri had left when Ramonda told her to. Still, Namor threw the water bombs that caused them to drown. He is, has been, and will always be at fault.

I believe people excuse Namor's behavior because he's attractive. Namor is a gorgeous character, and Tenoch Huerta is a handsome man (even though he's an alleged sexual predator). There's nothing wrong with being attracted to Namor or writing and reading Reader-insert or OC fanfiction about him. It's just wrong to ship him with his victim's child. I'm going a step further by assuming many shippers see Shuri as a self-insert, not a real person wronged by this man. People don't view Black women characters and Black women themselves as victims when they are being harmed. Instead of shipping a young and vulnerable black woman with the mutant that killed her mother, people should write or read fanfiction with Namor and leave Shuri alone.

I also believe Namor's actions are excused because of his traumatic past. When male characters (and men in real life) have traumatic upbringings, it's often used to justify why they harm other people, especially women. Namor battles with historical trauma because he saw firsthand how colonization ruined the home of his mother and the people who came before him. Killing the Spanish conquistadors was understandable. He seems to have resolved conflicts through violence, as evidenced by his destruction of Wakanda and the killing of Ramonda in revenge for Nakia harming a Talokan citizen. We can sympathize with Namor's traumatic past and still hold him accountable for murdering Queen Ramonda. His past is a reason, not an excuse.

As a ruler, Namor did what he felt was right when protecting his people. As Shuri's possible love interest, he's an abuser who added to her trauma.

"It's Just Fiction"

When it comes to rightfully critiquing this ship, their shippers like to say that we, the anti-shippers, are doing too much behind fictional characters. "It's just fiction," they would say to shut down the critiques. It's not "just fiction". Research has shown that fiction can influence a person's beliefs and decision-making abilities. Fictional portrayals can turn into opinions and attitudes, and those attitudes can manifest in how we treat others online and in person.

For example, an article on Springhole.net titled "Why 'It's Just Fiction' Isn't A Magic Defense" briefly talked about how Stagecoach, a 1939 film, resulted in European-Americans' perception of Indigenous-Americans. European-Americans had negative views of Indigenous-Americans from the start, and the film worsened their mistreatment and disenfranchisement. This was because the film portrayed Indigenous Americans as bloodthirsty, ruthless savages.

Nashuri being fiction doesn't make their dynamic less abusive. It's easy to say that shipping them isn't going to influence someone to date their mother's killer, but we can't ignore the possibility that someone would think it's okay to do so, especially if they are young with little life experience. Young readers should not be reading this stuff, but that's not going to stop them from consuming it. It's great if they can differentiate between fiction and reality, but as adults, we have the responsibility not to romanticize an abusive dynamic. Regardless of how their shippers would like to see it, shipping the ship and writing fanfiction for them does normalize an abusive dynamic. Ironically, their shippers would never date someone who killed their mother, but expect people to believe that Shuri would fall for the person who killed her mother.

"Complete manipulation, physical abuse, cheating, and other trauma-inducing actions are taught through both realistic romance and fantasy romance: whether it is a normal man or a 300-year old vampire, it is not an excuse to set an unhealthy idea and expectation of romance," a quote from an article titled "To Love or Hate: The Toxicity of Enemies to Lovers" authored by Isabel Desisto.

When people criticize this ship, they accuse the anti-shippers of pushing censorship and promoting purity culture. As Alexander Struver pointed out in their article titled "Enemies to Lovers: When Love Becomes Toxic", "this is not referred to as censorship, but as value formation. "In other words, we should consider which values and messages we're willing to promote or legitimize. Ask yourself, would you date the person who killed your parent (if they're not evil or abusive)? Or would you want your child dating the person who killed you? If the answer is no, then please reconsider why you're comfortable shipping a character with someone who killed her mother.

Attoye

A reason that people ship Nashuri has to do with the lack of ships between Black and Indigenous people. While I agree there should be more, a murderer and his victim's child should not be the face of this. Especially when Attoye is right there.

Attoye is the ship between Attuma and Okoye from Black Panther: Wakanda Forever. This ship became popular because of the way Okoye and Attuma would taunt each other on the battlefield. Attuma is physically stronger than Okoye because of his mutation, but he still respects her as a warrior and treats her as an equal. Plus, he seems to relish battling with her. Attoye is what Nashuri claims to be. They have strong potential as enemies-to-lovers, with a Black and Indigenous pairing, an appropriate age gap, and he doesn't contribute to her trauma. Plus, Okoye is at an age where it doesn't matter who she dates as long as her partner is over 25.

What makes Attoye work as a ship that Nashuri doesn't have is mutual respect. Attuma respects Okoye as a warrior and equal. Shuri and Namor had mutual respect as leaders who had suffered so much, but that came at the expense of Queen Ramonda and the countless citizens of Talokan and Wakanda.

These two warriors should be the ship that's the face of Black/Indigenous love, instead of the murderer and his victim's child.

Conclusion

Nashuri is not enemy-to-lovers; it's romanticized abuse. Namor isn't Shuri's enemy, who can eventually become her lover. He's her abuser who took advantage of a grieving and vulnerable young woman and killed her last living relative. Shipping and defending the right to ship this ship sends a message that abuse is okay. "Enemies to lovers trope is meant as two people overcoming their prejudice about each other and seeing them as a person, not two people torturing each other and causing damage all in the name of love," a quote from Tasya's article that perfectly summarizes Nashuri and what makes them a bad ship.

I understand that some people were open to shipping them before he killed Ramonda and were therefore left heartbroken because they couldn't. What I cannot understand is continuing to ship them after he did that, and then going on to excuse his actions.

The point of this article wasn't to tell people what they can or cannot ship. This article won't stop anyone from shipping this ship, and there will still be people willing to defend it. You are free to ship whatever you want. But be mindful that other people are free to criticize the ship for romanticizing a toxic dynamic.

This article isn't criticizing taboo or dark romances, but it highlights the need to set boundaries on what's acceptable versus romanticized abuse.

Thank you for reading.

Works Cited:

Alexander Struver - “Enemies to Lovers: When love becomes toxic”

AN White Books Blog – “Age Gap Romances: 20 years vs 500 years”

Cathy Tay - “Killing Stalking: Abuse Romanticized?”

Charlotte Gregory - “The Dangers of Romanticizing Abuse in Media”

Elena Barkova - “Romanticizing Abuse: The Dangerous Normalization of Toxic Relationships”

Emily Keyes - “How to Write the Enemies to Lovers Romance Trope”

Hannah Miller - “Can Fiction Change Reality? The Power of Storytelling”

Isabel DeSisto - “To Love or to Hate: The Toxicity of Enemies to Lovers”

Katri Soikkeli - “How to Use The Enemies to Lovers Trope”

Kayla C - “The Argument ‘It’s just fiction’ Doesn’t Work”

Kaytee Gillis - “A Trauma History Is No Excuse for Abuse”

Megan Easley - “Opinion: Romanticizing abuse does not make a novel romantic”

Natalie Pak - “Dark Romance: The romanticization of trauma”

Springhole.net Blog - “Why ‘It’s Just Fiction’ Isn’t a Magic Defense”

Storm Lomax - “Age Gaps in Romance Fantasy: How to get it right (and what to avoid)”

Tasya at The Literary Huntress - “Let’s Talk About: Enemies to Lovers trope and the boundaries between healthy and problematic storylines.”

Tirzah Price - “How Do We Feel About Age Gaps in Fantasy?”

Trish G - “Unveiling the Truth: Dark Romance vs Romanticizing Abuse”