Me, An Anishinabe Writer

A concern I have with my writing has to do with how I grew up. I am Native American or Anishinabe in the Ojibwe language, and I was socialized in the culture.

This means my mother was my primary parent growing up along with a father and grandfather who were both in the war and who both were forced to attend boarding school. The Ojibwe language was spoken in my home but not to me, and my mother didn't speak more than words and a few sentences.

For me, it seemed I had to grow up in two worlds. I remember talking with others about how it is so good to go home after school. What I meant wasn't about the people as much as the constant expectations of a culture I wasn't socialized in. So many things were different out in the world.

My teachers and later professors expected my writing to be a certain way that wasn't my way, or a culture way. As Native people raised in the culture and used to living in two worlds, we get pretty good at being chameleons but it isn't easy. And it can get tiring. It often feels like playing a role.

The acting is easier as I've aged. That is why I considered theatre in my retirement. I thought that may be a fun way to spend my time while not working full-time.

It is automatic for me to switch from one way of being in a community to the next. The writing hasn't been automatic. My interest in Vocal helps me to practice until it becomes easier.

When around elder Native American people, especially those fluent in the Ojibwe language, there is a definite difference in communication style. I have at times translated for other cultures what just happened.

There is translation that has to occur and sometimes that takes time. Also, there is process time that happens. Pauses are longer. As a child, I thought those pauses were five minutes at times.

So in listening to an elder, it is important to know that the conversation may take longer than you have time for. There may be a tendency to interrupt or to stop listening. Both are considered rude in the culture and how that may be remedied is to stop visiting with you.

Sometimes that is missing out on the important service you may have to offer, or you miss out on something important that the person has to say to you.

I am one of those elders now. I am not fluent in the language, although my process time is still longer. I believe it is due to coming from a different worldview. Because of the worldview, anothers worldviews and language then need translating time.

My sister and I, while both in graduate school used to joke about how we could murder the English language at times.

Besides longer pauses, there are eye contact differences, handshake differences, and humor differences. With writing, the stories may not have a beginning, middle, and end, and it is up to you to figure out how that story applies to you.

I have always been an avid reader and enjoy the story as read. I do not remember to quote what I have read or don't have a need to re-read what I have read. I enjoy the read in the moment.

Our worldview comes in fours, and others come in threes. A circle, rather than a timeline or triangle. An oral tradition, of stories passed down over many generations, thousands of years some say, most that hold lessons or values, and most that are still relevant today.

As I have aged, I talk more, and I will talk with anyone, anywhere. I am fascinated by what others will tell me. Sometimes it feels like it will be kept confident and other times it doesn't, and I will write about it. Never so that the person can be identified.

Writing poetry began for me about 8 years ago now and that is a way to not be as direct and still express feelings and emotions. I see it as a healing form of writing.

Due to my recovery, I don't regret my past and have no trouble being an 'open book' in my writing. There are things I will possibly never write about but things I have shared with others.

My writing continues to need work, despite my free Grammarly sending me messages of how well I am doing. As an Anishinabe Ikwe and writer, I can do this, and I will do this as long as I am able. I love reading and writing daily and living life to the fullest.