A Statement on Personal Beliefs and Respect

By: T.D Carter

Today, I’m celebrating my best friend’s birthday, and in less than two weeks, I’ll be celebrating my own. Both of these events, and the simple act of celebrating the people I love, bring me genuine happiness—regardless of what others may think, believe, or say.

Recently, I have been subjected to constant judgment and condemnation. I'm told my celebrations are "demonic," "pagan," and that I am risking my soul. Basically, I’m going to Hell on a slip and slide just for being happy I was born. I don’t get that; I’ve never understood this concept. My mom is a Theologian and brought me up in church, and she used to hold similar beliefs when I was young: no birthdays, no Christmas (for real), no Halloween, or anything else. Honestly, my birthday and Halloween are my absolute favorite things to do. I celebrate my birthday on Halloween, and yes, I do dress up. When I had children, I dressed them up too, if they wanted to be. I don't force my beliefs on my kids either; these are my beliefs, and if they have kids and don't want them to celebrate their birthday or Halloween, I will respect their wishes.

I have always brushed these comments off, but the constant criticism has become impossible to ignore. It is starting to genuinely bother me because there is a severe lack of fairness and respect in these interactions. I've had people tell me, because I am Pansexual, that they are sick of seeing "so much gay" on TV and in movies, and that "it's being shoved down their throats and their children's throats." I simply tell them: don't watch it. If you don't agree, don't watch. But these same people want to shove down my throat that I shouldn't celebrate my birthday or have parties or be happy because God allowed me to be born. I have met people who lost children before they were born, and how they wished they had a birthday to celebrate. I empathize deeply with them; I lost a child, so I know how that ache can feel, knowing this was their birthday.

Here is the core of my issue:

I have never, and would never, try to force my celebratory beliefs or practices on anyone who does not share them. If you choose not to celebrate a birthday, I respect that decision completely. It is your life, your conscience, and your right to choose what is best for you. Do what you feel is best for you. I will not get romantically involved with someone who does not understand and celebrate my birthday, and how much it means to me. So, if you don't, that’s cool; we will be cool associates, and that will be it. The Bible says "do not be unequally yoked," and yes, in this, I will listen.

So, why are you attempting to force your non-celebratory beliefs on me? Please keep that to yourselves, and I will keep my beliefs to myself. You can say I am demonic, going to Hell, or whatever; at this point, that is your opinion, and you know what they say about opinions: we all have one.

I am not forcing my beliefs onto you, and you do not have the right to force your beliefs onto me. This is not about winning an argument; this is about basic personal autonomy and mutual respect.

I am sick of people trying to push their narratives onto others. If you do not agree with how I live or what I celebrate, then do not agree with it. Keep your spiritual threats and judgments to yourself.

I will continue to celebrate my friends, my family, and my life. I will not try to change what you believe, and I demand the same respect in return. My right to find joy in celebration is not up for debate.